My son was born in September and is intact. When my daughter was born 6.5 years ago, I did not even know what circumcision is! I'm so thankful that I had a daughter first, or I'm sure any son I would've had would've been cut due to my lack of education.
Anyway -- when we found out we were pregnant (a year ago this week, actually), I brought up the subject of circumcision with my husband immediately. Since the birth of my daughter, I've done hours of reading on the subject and knew that I could never subject any son of mine to such an unnecessary and cruel procedure. He didn't really have strong feelings either way, but he is cut and his biggest argument in favor or circumcision was the locker room argument -- which I thought was ridiculous and told him as much. It may help to say that his 14 year old son is also cut, though he doesn't live with us. After I pointed him in the direction of several articles on the subject, he was fine with me having my way and leaving any future son intact. We chose not to find out what the sex of the baby was ahead of time -- and I was pleased to find a boy at our home birth 3.5 months ago!
Everything has been good for the most part. However, DH's family for several weeks after our son was born, was trying to convince him to get the procedure done. His sister even told him a story about a boy she knew who went to high school with her son (19 years old) who had to transfer schools because he was ridiculed for his whole penis so much. I find this hard to believe, but whatever. Following this, my husband seemed a bit more uncomfortable with the state of our son. Adding to this was the fact that his best friend had a baby boy a month after our son was born and, of course, he was circumcised. Anytime anyone in his family asked about circumcision, he'd say "It's still being discussed." Which of course it wasn't. And it makes me kind of upset that he's not willing to just say "We've done our homework on this and it's not happening." None of my family has said a word about it one way or the other and that's the way I think it should be. I'm not sure why his family thinks they get a vote in the first place.
So jump to present time. Our son is 16 weeks old now, and it seems that DH has gotten somewhat passive aggressive about it. I don't know that he intends to be, but some of the things he says are just ridiculous. I seriously don't think he's ever seen an uncircumcised penis before and just doesn't understand the function. We somehow got on the subject of sex and erections of whole vs cut men and he said something to the effect of "a lot of women refer to the ridge on a cut guy." I was like -- what?? He didn't realize that the foreskin folds back during an erection exposing a penis that... looks like his. I had to show him diagrams for him to believe me. Then he says "Yeah -- well, if you have a foreskin you have to wash up right after sex. You can't just lay there like we can." Wow, okay. The other night while I was changing DS's diaper, my husband announced that he had to use the bathroom which is right next to our bedroom and loudly exclaimed "Daddy can just shake it off. He doesn't need to wipe or anything." And most recent and perhaps most disturbing -- DS has been sick with his first cold for the past week and a half. He's been pretty miserable and crabby because of it. So last night we're all laying in bed together and DH says "Hun... you know what's crazy about this? If we would've cut him, he'd be better by now." OMG!!!! I just pretended I was sleeping. I couldn't even formulate a response. Comparing chopping off a perfectly healthy and functioning part of our son's genitalia to a COLD?!
*EDIT* I want to explain this part a bit better, because it seems I've been misunderstood. DH wasn't saying that being circ'ed would prevent a cold or cause it to heal faster. From how I understood him, he was saying that the time it would take to heal from a circ procedure would be less time than what it's taking for DS to recover from his cold. Sorry I don't explain myself the best at times!
Has anyone else had issues with passive aggression from their husband AFTER your son is already here? There have been no issues with DS's penis since birth. No raging infections or smelly discharge like everyone seems to be telling him will occur. I just don't get it. Our son is perfect. Where are these feelings coming from?!
Edited by summermommy2004 - 1/5/11 at 9:54am