How to deal with night waking in older child

[Boot]

By older I mean not a baby. DS is 4 in April. He's been his own room for a long time but has always come through to our room at some point in the night. Recently, due to various family reasons, he started sleeping in our bed full time. This was NOT working. We have a 10 month old too and a queen size bed. DS is tall and kicks and squirms. I'm a light sleeper. We have put him back in his own room now but he wakes up several times a night wanting to come in with us. One of us takes him back to bed and lies down with him but this is often impractical because I have to leave the baby is our bed. My husband is a deep sleeper and has to get up early. If he does lie down with DS he gets back ache from the mattress. DS will often wake the baby up too. We all need to get better sleep. I have tried giving him extra magnesium and calms for kids. I don't know what else to do. It's almost like a power struggle. I feel like he is forcing himself to stay awake because he thinks if he holds out long enough he'll be allowed back in our bed. Does anyone have any practical advice. The only thing I can think of doing right now is buying a better mattress for DS so DH can sleep there with DS or if our bed gets too crowded but I don't like the idea of DH being permanently away from me. 

[Red Pajama]

I created a pallet on the floor in my room on my side of the bed.  One of my twins has been coming into our room in the night (sometimes starting the night there) since he was almost three. I just told him we didn't really have room in the bed, and since he needed a place close to me I'd make one for him.

In your case, I'd make the spot with him, have him start the night in his room, and when he comes in, direct him to the pallet on the floor.

[One_Girl]

Is he coming in because the family situation is stressing him out?  If that is the case then I suggest trying to give him as much time as you can spare cuddling during the day and playing with him the way he wants to play.  I still do this with my dd (8) when she is stressed out about something or when we are going through tough family stuff and she goes through a period of coming into my bed again.  It helps fill her need for connection while also filling my need for sleep.

[LynnS6]

Dd comes in and sleeps right next to me on the floor. She's got a blanket on the bottom so she's not up against the scratchy carpet and a blanket on top to keep her warm. She's got a pillow (and recently has been bringing her pillow pet with her).

Dd gets 'scared' at night. I think it's a phase. Ds spent about a year sleeping on our floor, and I'm hoping that at some point in time dd will also decide it's more comfortable to stay in her bed.

She's OK with this place. She'd prefer to be in our bed, but she's 6, she's tall, and she kicks the covers off when she gets hot (i.e. anytime she sleeps IN bed with us.) We all need to sleep. This helps her feel connected (doubly connected when I step on her going to the bathroom in the middle of the night!) without crowding the bed. On the rare occasions when ds gets up in the night, he sleeps on dh's side of the bed. Life would be easier if we were Japanese and we each had our own futon.

[mama2soren]

Originally Posted by Boot 

 My husband is a deep sleeper and has to get up early. If he does lie down with DS he gets back ache from the mattress. 

Do you suppose that the mattress is uncomfortable for DS, too?  Maybe that's another reason he really prefers your bed?