21 mo old with Step Numo

[aanule]

Hi!  I haven't posted here in a long while.   We made the decision a long time ago to delay and selectivly vaccinate our boys.   I say that, but I've yet to get up the courage to re-start my older sons vaccines after a reaction at 2 mo (the dtap scream).

My youngest is completely vax free and a couple weeks before christmas we all came down with a horrible virus that caused diarhea and cold symptoms in the boys.   I have since found out this may have been H1N1 (we don't see the doctor for anything unless we think there is something they can actually do beyond telling us to stay hydrated so it can't be proven).    

Just a couple days after my 21 mo old started getting better, he came down with a fever and vomitting which progressed to a grunt and crying.  Took him in because the grunt and crying really concerned me and got told it was a stomach virus.  Took him back 2 days later and almost get sent home again before I insisted that it seemed serious to me.   Finally find out it's pnuemonia.   Because he had the infection in his blood they were able to type it as strep numo.

11 days, multiple anti-biotics, 2 hospitals, 1 lumbar puncture, 1 surgery and 500ml of fluid drained from his lung later and I'm feeling mighty guilty.    Both things were/are vaccine preventable.  Now, both vaccines are two that I marked off my list almost immediately for multiple reasons... but I still can't help but feel like if I had just gotten him vaccinated we wouldn't be here.   But then I have to remember that it could have been worse.  If he had gotten prevnar and the ground was good for bacterial pnuemonia, some worse bug like staph may have come in and taken over, right?  Or am I just trying to rationalize?

He's honestly as bad as he is because of medical mistakes.  The first doctor didn't even listen to his lungs and the first hospital waited 6 whole days before checking for fluid on his lungs.  It still just hurts and I wanted to vent these frustrations in a safe place.   I'm afraid of people finding out and me being blamed for being a bad mom, or something.... I don't know.  Any insight or experience?   This is honestly the last thing I expected when we decided to delay vaccines.  I figured the worst I'd contend with was Measles... and here we are with my poor baby in severe pain stuck in a hospital crib waiting to hear if he'll need another chest tube put in.

[vachi73]

Gosh, I am heartbroken reading your post! I wish I had something helpful to say to you other than how sorry I am. Like all of us, you made decisions that were based on the best information you had at the time...every time we make a decision for our kids, we always accept the risk of future regret, and sometimes we get "bitten." You did the best you could to minimize that risk, and I don't think you should beat yourself up.

I really, really hope your boy gets better quickly. Take care of yourself, too, mama.

[carriebft]

Penuococcal infection is pretty common even in the USA. If you are thinking of "things I am likely to come in contact with" then you end up with a list of influenza, Pertussis (DTaP) PCV, Hep A, Varicella, and the disease contained in the MMR (but a much smaller chance than the others). But not all of these carry the same risks to kids.

*anything is possible* I guess, kwim? You could have gotten PCV and then contracted a strain not included in the vaccine. DO you know if the strain you dealt with is in the vaccine? it is possible it isn't, kwim? there were 7 in the old vaccine and 13 in the new one.

I think when we select and delay vaccines we do need to understand that we are taking a risk. ANd its a risk to get them, too! you  made the best choice with the information you had and it was a choice for your kids, to protect them and made from love and research. And its always OK to go back over those choices, too. you have a new experience now that will add to the decision, a situation that is unique to you which may change your views or strengthen them.

I would just sit down and re-evaluate...even if its as simple as just taking a piece of paper and writing down the pros and cons of each vaccine again and going from there.

[aanule]

Yea, I don't know for sure what strain it is, you're totally right.   I've had two doctors bring up vaccines (asking why we delay) and one ask if my older son had prevnar (he didn't)... so, not sure they even know exactly which it is, they just see unvaccinated child and strep numo and assume, I guess.    They also had him on isolation for longer than usual before finally deciding he wasn't contagious and taking him off it.  

I do feel that everything in life is a learning experience and has a purpose and I know that everyone has learned a great deal and grown a great deal through this... but it doesn't make it suck any less.  That's just me whining.