intercourse during pregnancy?

[frugalmum]

I know the accepted medical advice is that intercourse cannot cause miscarriage-- but what is your opinion on this?  I recently lost a baby in the second trimester after bleeding off and on through the first trimester, including one very heavy bleed which occurred 20 minutes after intercourse.  I am convinced that intercourse might have contributed to my losing the baby.  Since the female orgasm causes uterine contractions, and even just female arousal can cause uterine contractions, how could this not be an issue?  Also if your partner is rough-- how could this not potentially harm the baby?

I just have trouble believing that women can have all kinds of intercourse while pregnant, even rough, with lots of orgasms, and it could not potentially harm the environment for the baby.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this?

When I used to go to midwives (practice has since closed) she would say she was old fashioned on this-- that she recommended avoiding sex and orgasm for the first trimester.  But she is the only practitioner who ever told me this.  Is there a difference between midwifery and mainstream medicine on this one?

[msmiranda]

I don't think intercourse can cause miscarriage, but I do think that if it makes you uneasy, then you should abstain.  I probably would in your shoes.  I can see how intercourse could help start the process of expelling the fetal tissue in a missed miscarriage though.

I also think that sex can bring on preterm labor in people who are predisposed to it.  That happened to a friend of mine and I know she will never try anything during pregnancy again.  I had a preterm labor scare when I was 33 weeks last time around and I abstained for the rest of the pregnancy ... although, that did not stop me from having orgasms in my sleep sometimes.  You do what you can, I guess.

[gummibears]

Sex is totally safe even rougher sex from what I hear is okay. The only issues are when you have certain risks to take into consideration. Right now I can't remember what those risks are other than twins and such.

The baby is really well protected in there and the contractions from orgasm are not strong enough to bring about labor in most cases. We had sex with DS and no issues. In fact he was 5 days late. This time again no issues, so I'd try not to be too worried over it.

However, if it feels better, maybe limit your intercourse during the first trimester so you can keep your mind at ease about miscarriage concerns. Or take it easy and don't go very deep or rough for the same reasons.

[dakotablue]

Sex is totally safe, BUT I would say if you are having any bleeding I would hold off for a bit until it stops and then assess again if sex is safe.

My old OB said sex is fine, but bleeding may cause him to put you on pelvic rest (no orgasms) I didn't have any bleeding but I had asked about sex and when it wouldn't be ok.

I will say this, with DS I was a horn dog the entire pregnancy and had 2-5 orgasms a day, he was born via c/s at 41 weeks.

This pregnancy I am nursing throughout and nursing can cause contractions no issues so far.

Contractions of the uterus do not cause harm to the baby, its the contractions that open the cervix that have the potential to cause pre term labor.

If you are worried I would talk to your doctor/ MW and maybe have exams to ensure your cervix is not opening...

Did you have a miscarriage or was it pre term labor that caused a miscarriage?

[umm.hafsah]

I think the risks you are thinking of are preterm labor (as an above poster mentioned), incompetent cervix (which is usually diagnosed by 2nd trimester losses), placenta previa, and premature dilation of the cervix which can also occur with IC and PTL. Most say first trimester losses cannot be caused by intercourse because its usually related to a chromosomal or developmental problem rather than an action on the part of the parent, however given that you did experience a second trimester loss it might be worth getting evaluated to see if you do have a preexisting condition that would be worsened by intercourse. As I've mentioned before, I personally have "incompetent cervix" and require a cerclage to carry a child to term and I was fortunate enough to have it diagnosed without having to lose a child first (very sorry for your loss), in my case it was not expected because I had none of the things that would make me a likely candidate for the condition but I just do and need some help to keep my babies in. If you are concerned then I think you should get it checked out before you are intimate with your partner.

[Buddhamom]

I say go with what makes you comfortable.  I was so nervous in the beginning because I knew there was no way I could get preg. again if I lost this one seeing how it was a non trying,surprise preg. at 40 Y.O. and preg. after 8 yrs. of infert.with failed infert. treatments. So I put sex on hold the first trimester just until I felt more comfortable.  DH was fine with it and understood.  Now we do have sex but we are very cautious and gentle which works for both of us.

[Full Heart]

Do you know what the bleeding in the first tri was from?  I don't know how much orgasm can affect a pg since your uterus is contracting anyway, whether you feel it or not.  And some women experience orgasm without arousal, such as climaxing in their sleep or randomly throughout their day.  It can not be controlled and therefore can't be abstained from.  Given the amount of women that have sex during pg I would def think it is safe.  If you are scared given your circumstances then def abstain.  If you have certain medical conditions such as IC, SCH, PTL, PP, then abstaining is advised then as well.  Rough sex can irritate the cervix, causing bleeding.  That does not mean that it has affected the baby.  The baby is pretty safe inside the uterus, esp early on when the uterus is so much bigger than the baby.  My mws never said not to have sex except when I was bleeding and I wouldn't have anyway.  If it were me, I would abstain just because I would be too scared to. 

[Mamatoabunch]

I don't feel sex can cause a miscarriage in virtually all women. I had a SCH w/ my 10th at 11 weeks. After my bleeding stopped coming red, 3-4 days, we resumed sex and my pregnancy continued uneventfully. 

Edited by Mamatoabunch - 1/6/11 at 1:16pm

[entiti]

Dh and I had a bit of rough sex during my seventh month, and I started bleeding....light pink, maybe even got a little darker for an hour or so. I freaked out and called my midwife, and she said that there is just so much extra blood pumping through a pregnant body, that that's what it was; as long as it stopped and you weren't cramping or heavily bleeding, which I was not.

But I did not feel comfortable having sex, and did abstain for awhile, and when we did, I made sure he didn't go too deep. It happened again a couple of other times, but it wasn't so unusual feeling after that. I had a healthy 8 1/2 pound baby at 40 weeks!

But I am also weary about rough sex, and if you are bleeding and feeling uncomfortable, I would hold off.

[kawa kamuri]

Originally Posted by frugalmum 

all kinds of intercourse while pregnant, even rough, with lots of orgasms

five babies down, one growing and never had an issue  i have no history of problems with pregnancy and believe that kind of sex is wonderful, nurturing and vital to my babes growing environment. 

[Mamatoabunch]

Originally Posted by kawa kamuri 

Originally Posted by frugalmum 

all kinds of intercourse while pregnant, even rough, with lots of orgasms

five babies down, one growing and never had an issue  i have no history of problems with pregnancy and believe that kind of sex is wonderful, nurturing and vital to my babes growing environment. 

10 here, including twins and glad I'm not the only one ;)

[Italiamom]

I don't think it matters so much what others say, as to how you feel.  If the sex is making you fearful that there will be consequences, then abstain!  I was pretty fearful in my first trimester, then as the pregnancy progressed, not so much.  But I think if sex is causing you to be fearful of a loss, then it's sort of defeating the purpose, right?  Regardless of what medicine says about the safety of it, sex shouldn't bring on emotions of fear or worry.  If it is, it's not worth having.

[Liora]

Originally Posted by Buddhamom 

I say go with what makes you comfortable.  I was so nervous in the beginning because I knew there was no way I could get preg. again if I lost this one seeing how it was a non trying,surprise preg. at 40 Y.O. and preg. after 8 yrs. of infert.with failed infert. treatments. So I put sex on hold the first trimester just until I felt more comfortable.  DH was fine with it and understood.  Now we do have sex but we are very cautious and gentle which works for both of us.

Ditto.  Finally getting pregnant with IVF after 10 years of infertility there is no way I could have relaxed enough to enjoy it anyways.  Now I'm in my 2nd trimester with my 2nd kid(s) and greatly enjoying pregnancy sex!  :)  I think it is about your level of comfort.  My Dh was a trooper!

[Smokering]

There are a lot of things which are generally perfectly safe for pregnant women, but not for women with a problematic history. I'd say sex is one of them. Like drinking RRL tea - I can't find any evidence that it's generally unsafe to drink it even in the first trimester, but if I had a history of pre-term labour I wouldn't drink it until the very end of pregnancy. And as it is, I won't start until the third trimester, just out of nerves... Of course, most people don't have the same drive to drink raspberry leaf tea as to have sex, so it's easier to "abstain"! :p But you get the idea. I wouldn't tend to make either a blanket ban or a blanket "of course it's fine" statement for every pregnant woman.

I have noticed sex during pregnancy bringing on Braxton-Hicks, but not at all to a worrying extent. For me, with no history of PTL, I figure BH are a good thing - they help tone my uterus for labour, but don't push my body over the edge into actually giving birth.