Pacifier weaning at 2

[AKA_PI]

My son is almost two and half and still wants his pacifier when he's sleepy. He goes all day without at daycare but sometime around 7 or 8, he starts asking me for it. Last night was the first time I took it away cold turkey and his screaming was the worst! I felt horrible! His dad (who doesn't live with us) refused to give it to him and I swear my son screamed and cried for almost two hours before falling asleep.

I try talking him through it, telling him the pacifier is put away and that he is a big boy and doesn't need it but he keeps crying and begging for it. I almost gave it but I held fast to know.

I don't want bedtime to be such a traumatic time for him that he will only associate it with fear of his dad standng over him saying no and not letting him out of bed, or mommy not letting him have it. He sleeps in his own bed but he does come get in bed with me if/when he wakes.

How did you wean? Was it this difficult?

[KJunebug]

My husband and I just had this conversation.  Out DD is 34 months old, and uses her pacifier at nighttime, and in the car.  We decided at this point we are going to wait to break her of it until she is of an age of reason.  So much is going on in her little world, I can;t bear to add taking it away to the list....  we decided to wait until peer pressure causes her to give it up, or we can reason with her and do something like send them to another child or Elmo or something like that... I have heard that works well.  I know of one person who had it put inside a Build a Bear for their kid.... but there is no way my 34 would understand that yet.

Maybe we are over reacting though and it is no big deal after a few days... I'll be curious to see what others tell you.

My little one, 8 months old, decided to be a thumb girl instead of a pacifier girl, we'll see what breaking her of that is like in a few years....

[beebalmmama]

We helped ds wean himself from the pacifier when he turned 3. He'd been using it only at night or naps since about 18months. Turned out he stopped using it about a month before his birthday, partially because we lost it (and then dh found it but we just didn't tell ds). Ds did fine and no tears. We had been talking about if for some time about how he was getting too big and other babies needed the binky. He was able to somewhat understand that and we had a lot of conversations about it.

I think if your ds was that upset, I'm not sure he was ready.

[Surfer Rosa]

Hey AKA PI!

Our son is still super attached to his paci too. We've limited his nuktime to naps and bedtime, starting around six months. He tagged along to my DD's dentist appointment, and the dentist told us it's not an issue until age 4-5 (as long as paci use is limited to napt/nighttime). I hate the idea of him still using a paci, but it is his transtion/comfort item (he also likes to hold a paci), and sleep trumps all in our house!

Our plan is to start talking about him kicking the paci around three (when he might be more...uh...open to the idea? reasonable? ha ha), and slooowly ditch it, hopefully DS-led. He still sleeps with us most nights, and often he's not sucking it (and sometimes I pop it out, without incident).

Good luck!

[Purplegal]

I'm gonna share my story and you can take it or leave it. My DD was very attached to her binky, we got her to have it only at night or nap by 1 year of age, but she had it that way until she was 4. And by then I decided she HAD to get rid of it, 4 was too old, etc. So, I encouraged her and she cut the nipple off on her own. Well...then the hell began. She clung to that cut binky, biting it desperately, for weeks until I finally took it away. Then she starting putting everything in her mouth, all the time, like she regressed to being a baby. She started having tantrums, chewing on things, biting me (at age FOUR)...and she became super clingy and attached....it was insane. It took over 6 months for her to get over it.

Looking back...I should have let her keep the binky. Obviously she was not ready to let it go, and really my main reason for getting rid of it was because I felt that's what was expected and I was embarrassed. NOT a good reason.

Now, I'm not telling you to give it back to him. But I just wanted to share, because back when I did this I wish I had posted here and someone had told me to just LET her have it! 

[BroodyWoodsgal]

My baby girl is two and a half and still loves her binky. It's not an all the time thing...always when she sleeps, though. We've decided to let her do her thing with it. My son doesn't love binkys at all...he's a "boob dude" - he is 14 months and still nursing like a tiny baby, ALL the time..I wouldn't dream of taking that from him before he was ready, so I've made up my mind to treat my daughter the same way. She wasn't nuts about nursing and weaned herself long before 14 months. She likes the binky for comfort, instead. It's her thing. So, I guess, child led weaning applies to boobies and binkys in this house!

I wish you a lot of luck in trying to navigate this with his father. It's hard when the "general consensus" out in the world is that 2.5 is too old...I will say that sometimes if she wants it because she's tired and we're out somewhere, we get looks from people...it doesn't help that she's HUGE and looks about four years old...but whatever. She's a super smart, sweet, happy and well adjusted kid...I don't want to rock her world and take away something she really likes. :hugs: Good luck.

[pacificbliss]

Sounds like he is not ready. Can you talk to Dad about it? DS was over 3 when he gave it up. What finally did it was we got him a big boy bed he had been wanting and told him no binkys were allowed in that bed. Then each night he chose where to sleep. He could switch if he wanted. It only took a couple of days, no tears, and we were binky free.

[AKA_PI]

Thanks everyone for your story. I personally don't feel he's ready to give it up. He doesn't take it at all during the day at daycare but when he gets sleepy, he asks for it. Surprisingly, he hasn't asked for it at bedtime for two days now. Talk about shocked! Instead, he will ask for some juice or for me to hold him (which I swear I will do forever if he asks LOL j/k) Anyway, I'm going to let him signal me. If he doesn't ask, I won't offer. If he does ask and I can tell that he REALLY doesn't want but just wants it, I'll wait before turning it over. Perhaps he really is just weaning himself. I've talked with his dad about it and we're just going to play it by ear.

[Eresh]

My almost 3yo is super attached to his ...as in whenever he's tired or upset.  I''m not making an issue of it though perfect strangers in the grocery store are happy to do that for me.  At some point he'll be ready to give it up but I think not now with the stress of a new sibling and PLing.

FWIW, I sucked my thumb when I was small.  My parents tried EVERYTHING to make me quit starting around three.  Eventually they gave up and I just stopped one day when I was six or so because I didn't need it anymore.  My parents also took my lovey away when I was three so that may have had something to do with thumb sucking so long.  Anyhow ... I figure that comments from strangers are not a really good reason for me to put my son through all of that.

[AKA_PI]

I'm pleased to say that after only a week of going cold turkey, my son no longer uses his pacifier. It's been since the 2nd week of January and he hasn't ask for it again. Wow!