Round two

[Blue Light]

I guess I don't know how to ask my questions correctly or I ramble because this is the second time I've sought advice in this section and haven't received a reply:) So I'll try again...

Do any of you have a sibling bed? If you do, at what ages did you begin to do this?

We are considering this as a way to provide comfort for both DD1 (3 1/2) and DD2 (just turned 1) who wake at night.

Is there a good way to introduce a 'lovey' (blanket, stuffed animal, etc) or is this something the child chooses?

DD2 loves to stroke my hair, rub my face (which is darling but in the middle of the night it is distracting) to fall asleep. I'd love to help her find comfort with an item that she can hold.

[petey44]

I don't have any real answers, but didn't want you to get disheartened from no one answering

I only have one kid, and she never attached to a lovey- I think it's something that the kid has to choose, because I certainly tried to get her interested in small soft creatures and blankets.  As far as the sibling bed, I have a friend with a 3 yo and a 1 yo.  She tries to get them to sleep in the same bed, just because of the sleeping layout of their house, but she says that the usually end up waking each other up.

Hope you get some better replies soon!

[liliaceae]

Well if your kids still wake at night, I would imagine having them sleep together would just mean they'd wake each other up at night.

[Maluhia]

You could certainly offer a blankie or something held against your cheek and lead her to rub that but honestly with DD it was hard to ever get anything but what she wanted as a lovey, which was me.  I think a sibling bed is a great idea when they can consciously choose to cuddle/comfort one another but at 1 and 3 1/2 they are both still at an age where being woken by one another would be distracting rather than comforting.  I think I can see starting such a thing when the younger child is about four when they can choose to seek comfort from one-another and not automatically want and need a parent in the middle of the night. 

[Jend1002]

I only have one babe of my own but my sister and I coslept as children.  My mom recently told me that I had to beg my little sister to leave when I hit middle school!  I believe my sister was having nightmares and woke frequently because she had ear issues.  It was comforting for her to sleep with me so my mom put us together in a full size bed when I was about 6 and she was about 3.

As for a lovey...my DS has never attached to anything.  I don't think I could make that happen if I wanted to. 

[Blue Light]

Thanks for all your thoughtful responses. I thought the same about needing to wait a bit until they could possibly share a bed. I've been trying to give her a soft teddy to hold but time will tell. 

One change we have made is to tighten up her bedtime routine and make sure she is rocked to sleep in her room. This has helped the last couple of nights.

[apple o' my eye]

As far as DD2 stroking your hair, have you hear of http://www.loveybabies.com/        

Joy makes dolls with either your hair or for only $5 hair she has. At first I thought it was a cool idea, now I can' t imagine my DDs life without her nite-nite doll. It is absolutely her lovey and though she still plays with my hair sometime, she can carry her doll around and have it in the car, etc.

Good luck!

[Blue Light]

Thank you! My goodness, I have not heard of this but this may be the ticket! I'm a little bit squimish of real hair (mine or some one else) but that is my hang up. Sadie may just love it. Thanks

[Blue Light]

I do have to confess that last night was HORRIBLE. I don't know what I was thinking but when she woke after about 1.5 hrs sleep, I tried to rock her for a bit but she wouldn't go back in her crib. I was frustrated (first clue) and wanted to get back to spending time with my husband. So I decided to let her fuss in her crib for a bit. Well that turned into all out wailing and basically full blown CIO. Again, what was I thinking. I kept going in and patting her, trying to calm her down and that didn.t work. This went on for 1/3 hour or so. Finally I couldn't stand it any longer. I wisked her up, covered her with kisses and tears and hugs and said never, never again will mommy do that to you. And my pediatrician said to give her 20! minutes of that at a time before intervening. Good gracious, it was awful.

I think part of the problem is that we don't give her good routine nap time either. She's a second child and sometimes gets pulled along. No cry sleep solution talks of good naps = good nighttime sleep. 

[liliaceae]

Sorry you guys had such a rough night. Has she always slept in a crib or have you tried co-sleeping with her? Do you still nurse her?

[Blue Light]

Both. She starts in her crib and has for quite some time but when she awakes the first or second time I bring her to our bed for the rest of the night. I sidecarred a crib to our bed several months ago since I needed more space for her in our bed.

I do still nurse some. BF has been quite painful for me this time around. I've tried everything and the best I can tell is that her strong suck has made a sore spot (kinda like a bruise) on one nipple. she went from nursing a lot at night to now at least once in the night and first thing in the morning. Last night she was up twice before 10:30! I was alseep in DD1 room, trying to get her to sleep, when DD2 started crying. I thought for sure it was at least 1 am...nope, just 10:30....DH took her so I could rest and have a break.

I'm starting to dread night time...sadly it makes me anxious. I need to focus on 'this to shall pass' but I find it painful to nurse, have an aversion to the constant petting she does to my face, and just wish we could move forward and get longer stretches. 

I think she is cutting 4 top teeth...could this impact her routine?

[Blue Light]

Thank you so much for your recommendation on lovey babies! Instead of purchasing one, I took inspiration for the design and asked for a donation of hair from a friend of mine. After figuring out the best way to attach the hair, I selected a stuffed animal and put the hair on it. DD2 LOVES it!! Whoo hoo! She holds Elle (I put the hair on a pink elephant), walks around with her and most importantly, caresses the hair when she goes to sleep. Several nights she has not launched for my hair AT ALL!!

Now I want to make prototype #2. Just need to get more hair! Thanks again for your great suggestion. She has been sleeping a bit better too.

[liliaceae]

That's great!

[apple o' my eye]

Sooo glad the hairy elephant is working out for you!!

Joy is amazing and is no longer making the dolls :-( So good of you to improvise. She may be posting the instructions on her Facebook site, which would be so cool. I wonder how she does the gluing and securing.

It is so freeing to have our little ones find peace in a lovey sometimes. Great to hear of your success!