Sending one to PS..what happens to the family?

[chaoticzenmom]

I've been homeschooling my oldest son since 1st grade (he's 5th grade now).  He decided to go to school and today was his first day.  Assuming that today doesn't freak him out to the point of coming back home, what happens to the other 3 kids?  My kindergartner is saying that he wants to also go to school and my 3rd grader is grieving the fact that her brother went to school and she doesn't see him anymore during the day.

Will they all want to go to school now?  Will things calm down to where everyone is happy with their place?  What's been your experience? 

How long to recover from the feelings of loss that I have with this?

Thanks in advance.

Edited by chaoticzenmom - 1/6/11 at 9:59am

[caelia]

We have been dealing with this this year.  After homeschooling both kids last year, my daughter started 1st grade this year at a magnet school.  Truthfully, it has not been an easy transition.  My son (3rd grade) is still homeschooled, and he really misses his sister.  She loves going to school, and this particular school has been a really great fit for her. 

Personally, I do not love having one in school and one homeschooled; I feel like we do not get the full benefit of either one.  We have to adhere to the school schedule, and always have to be back in time to pick her up from school, so we can't have the leisurely field trips that we took last year.  We did pull her out for a week after Thanksgiving to go on our family vacation that was planned before we decided to try this school, but in general, we have to work around the school calendar now. 

We try to focus on the positive, and I stress that we should be happy for her because she is happy at school.  I don't know if we will continue this schedule next year though.  My son was accepted at this same magnet school, and now we have to make another tough decision.  He is adamant that he does not want to go, he wants her to come back home next year.  I change my mind about what to do daily.  I am tuly torn about the issue.

Hmph.  I'm sure I didn't make you feel any better. :-(  Sorry!  Maybe someone else has been dealing with this better and we can both get some tips!

[chrissy]

We had a similar situation to the PP, and I agree that it felt like we could not get the full benefit of either one. 

It's a hard situation.

[chaoticzenmom]

Thanks for sharing your experience.  Yesterday, he decided that school wasn't what he thought and has decided to come home.  I battled myself with whether or not to push him to go or to let him stay home.   The family dynamic was a pulling force for letting him stay home, among other things, so I withdrew him after only one day.   So, maybe we'll be re-addressing this later. 

<sigh>  I'm tired.

[mattemma04]

My dd lasted about 4 months before I pulled her out 2 years in a row. I would have given your ds more time,but it is done now.All tghe kids  might want to try again next year.Consider a minimum time that the kids would need to finish. Some require a whole year,but I think atleast a month is enough to settle into the groove,and see if it is really for them.Every year in public is different since you get a new teacher.

I agree with the others that it IS hard having one at home and one at school.Doable but hard.The hser has to work around the public school schedule.Makes going to classes and stuff a bit hard.

Best wishes!!!!!

[amis2girls]

My 1st-grader liked the appeal of school at first.  It looks like she'll be home next year.  :)

[elisheva]

FWIW, one of John Taylor Gatto's arguments against schooling is that it destroys family life, so the struggle you are feeling is very real! My ds1 announces periodically that he wants to go to school (he's 4) and we're working through exactly what he expects to find there. So far, it boiled down to wanting to take his lunch box and eat there ("it's the best place, Mom"). I'm very anti at the moment (DH is always anti) but I want to respect ds1's journey at the same time.

[chaoticzenmom]

Originally Posted by mattemma04 

My dd lasted about 4 months before I pulled her out 2 years in a row. I would have given your ds more time,but it is done now.All tghe kids  might want to try again next year.Consider a minimum time that the kids would need to finish. Some require a whole year,but I think atleast a month is enough to settle into the groove,and see if it is really for them.Every year in public is different since you get a new teacher.

I agree with the others that it IS hard having one at home and one at school.Doable but hard.The hser has to work around the public school schedule.Makes going to classes and stuff a bit hard.

Best wishes!!!!!

I agree with you basicly, that we should have given it more time, but I really didn't want him to grieve leaving his new friends that he would have made.  He had three things he didn't like and they were really the basics of what his day would entail and wouldn't have changed..getting up early, spending so much time in that one room with 30 kids and having to spend his evenings doing homework.  All that could have been accomplished by making him stick it out longer was to make and then have to decide whether to leave new friends. 

He really wants more creativity, time with friends and routine.  We'll be working on that.