What is your plan for when all your children are in school? - Page 2

[kay4]

Loved your post Tigerchild!

[journeymom]

My kids are in 10th grade and 6th grade.  I've been a sahm for almost 14 years. It's been wonderful!  I had some college, did not finish, do not have a degree.  Still had a very good job prior to being a full-time sahm.

I agree, those first few years when both kids were in school were surprisingly busy.  I'm so glad I could help out in their classes a bit.

I'm now looking for a job.  Here is what I wish I'd done.  I wish that a few years ago, maybe when the youngest was in second grade, I had chosen some sort of vocation (xray tech? pharmacy tech? dental tech? medical office admin? small business admin? baking classes? ) and enrolled in school.  I'm only a few units away from an AA in US History, wish I could put that AA on my resume.

I wish I had picked a cause that I like, and had volunteered in an official capacity, so that I could put that on my resume.  My impression is that employers are willing enough to accept that moms sometimes have long blank spots in their employment history on their resumes, IF they can show that they've been a reliable 'worker' of some sort in an official capacity. 

I love that I've been able to take life really slow.  I love that I haven't had a hurried schedule.  I think it's been incredibly valuable, and I have not one regret about 'just' doing the sahm mom of school kids thing: sweat pants, surfing the web, staying up late, napping when I can -- I just wish I hadn't done just that for quite so long!  (Yes, I'm dealing with depression.)  I've had this same leisurely pace for 14 years now. Like I said, when ds was in second grade would have been a great time to start taking one class at a time and take a part-time volunteer position.  It would have still afforded me a lot of time with my kids. 

So there ya go!

[JayGee]

Thanks to everyone who replied!  Tigerlily, your post really resounded with me.  I have NO desire to return to school (I have a BA and an MA, that's enough, thanks) and NO desire to return to "cubicle life" (was a research associate for years before kids).  I have been thinking a lot more about this and the idea of volunteering regularly at school appeals to me.  And as goofy as it sounds, maybe getting my group fitness certification and teaching indoor cycling classes at the Y!  I also love gardening and sewing, but rarely have time for either pursuit so I can see both of those fitting into my schedule next fall.  Part of me wants to contribute more financially, but the idea of a "job" gives me hives!  As as for having another baby ~ NO WAY!!!  I'm almost 43 and that is not happening!

[SAHDS]

I have 2 children - a 4th grader and a 6th grader.  I have always been a SAHM (since I found out I was pregnant with my oldest).  I don't remember making a decision - I was a SAHM when they were home, I'm a SAHM now (I spend the day cleaning a house they live in, washing and drying clothes they wear, shopping for their groceries, volunteering at their schools, cooking their meals, etc.).  I do not regret it for one single, solitary moment.  The time will come when my children are grown and gone.  When that time comes, I will thank God I was blessed with the oppurtunity to spend as much time as I had with them.

[MrsBone]

I would love to continue to stay at home since it seems like SAHPs to school age children still have ALOT to do! I may find something very part time to do, but I'd love to be home for my children when they get home from school, help them with homework, etc. Especially since my husband works so much, If I got a full time job, I don't think DH and I would get to see our kids that much. Plus, there's sick days, vacations, etc that I feel like one parent should be available for. That's just me though :) We only plan on having 2 kids though..I'm not sure what I'd do if we had more.

[MariaMadly]

Posting from waaay down the road here:  I have a high school senior and a college sophomore, have been at home since before the oldest was born, and don't have any plans yet about what I want to be when I grow up.  As other posters have said, there's a lot of driving around -- expanded here because neither of mine drive yet -- and I had the chance to be very active in both their schools.  Both boys have food allergies, and that's been very time consuming.  Just learning about them was so overwhelming; they were diagnosed before Al Gore invented the internet. :)  Being at home was also a blessing when DS1 withdrew from high school classes over the holiday break of his senior year and took a year off before starting college.  He's at a school he loves on the other side of the country now, and DS2 has top choice schools thousands of miles away, too.  So in a few short months, I will be seriously empty nesting.  DH and I are looking forward to the two of them being settled where they're happy.  I think a lot of my energy has gone to being a sounding board for my sons' frustrations with the K-12 system where we live, and the difficulty finding opportunities in fields that interested them.  Satisfied kids will give me way more headspace.  I'm looking forward to that.

Also, my 80 y.o. mother lives in town, so I'm either visiting or phoning her daily and run errands for her as well.  Not very time-consuming in and of itself, and plenty of adults with full-time WOH schedules take care of aging parents.  It's been my good luck to have more flexibility and less stress in being able to do this, and I've been able to give it more time than I'd otherwise have been able.

I do have a B.S. in MIS (COBOL, anyone?) that I never really "used" in a conventional sense, though things professors have taught me about programming help a lot when trying to analyze a situation kindly.  No desire to continue in that specific field, though.  I serve on a municipal committee now, and want to look at sustained work for a cause near and dear to me . . . raising the minimum wage, maybe, or DV center volunteering.  Have thought about going back to school, but we're paying two tuitions, so that would take a careful look.  I think, first off, I'll catch my breath, walk my dog, keep enjoying my family, and take it from there.

[Tigerchild]

Maria, I wanna be like you when I grow up.  ;)

[Katie T]

I still work 2 days a month at my "old job" so I could keep my seniority. I have been there over 10 yrs and didn't want to start over if I chose to come back. But I don't think I will ever come back full time. I want to do home health care independently around my town and the surrounding areas. Patient care is a passion of mine and I miss it terribly. (I work in a hospital).

I will be able to set my own hours to a extent and will work around the children's schedule. I would also like to dabble in selling my knit and sewn goods online but don't for see a good income from this. I plan to start looking for 1 person to care for when my youngest starts school (she will go for 3 hours 4 days a week).

[MamaBriTo2]

I'll probably start working out more and get a part-time job. Maybe take a yoga class or photography workshop.

[sdm1024]

I will most likely work part time. Maybe 2-3 8 hour days per week. I won't go back to doing 12hrs. I may return to school for my MS in Nursing, but we'll have to play that by ear. Plus, I have to muster the energy to finish those last three classes of my BS :)

a PP mentioned that kids in school takes up time, and that is certainly true. Right now I have two in school FT, and one who goes to an all day preschool twice weekly. It takes up time, in addition to limiting time for other activities...ie...if a kid is in school fom 8 til 2 or 3 everyday, that means any extra stuff has to be done after three. Right now, my one DD has her swim lessons etc during the day.

[MaddieMay]

We are seriously contemplating homeschooling, so it's likely I'll stay at home. :)  If we don't, I will probably return to work very part time.  I have a graduate degree and could easily be an adjunct instructor at a local college or work very part time as a contractor.  With DH being military (and potentially being gone a lot), it's very important to us to have one parent at home for the kids' stability.  When DH retires from the military, we've talked about him staying at home (he'd be an awesome homeschool teacher too!) and me returning to work full time.  I've kept lots of contacts with my old job and I imagine I could go back easily (I've been asked several times already).

[JessJoy]

Originally Posted by FAmom 

When all of my children are finally in school, I'm going to leisurely drink morning coffee..... I'm going to go to the bathroom without anyone fighting the minute my derriere hits the seat..... I'm going to exercise regularly because I will actually be able to take a shower afterward.  If I'm still looking anywhere on the internet, I will be able to post something without being interrupted and having my train of thought blown.

I will be able to find ME again.  I will read a book that actually might have content, that isn't a board book or has to do with dinosaurs.  I'll start to listen to music again, after a period of sitting and enjoying complete silence.  I'll get outside and go into the garden and get my hands dirty for hours..... pull weeds, prune, even just sit and look around.  I may even be able to finally go through and organize my house.  Get rid of enough junk in the garage to pull out my painting stuff and paint again.  

Of course, right now, that is my plan, which feels more like a fantasy.  It won't happen for 3 more years.......  

EXACTLY!! My dd started Kindergarten this year and ya know what? Sometimes I just sit and do NOTHING and it feels great! After 5 years of sacrificing so much...I actually threw myself a girls only party at a bar this summer just before school started to celebrate my new found freedom. Some of my working Mom friends have said, "So what are you doing now that Kay is in School?" to which I answer, "Not a damn thing! Remembering who I am I guess!"

I will say that I finally started losing weight naturally. It's coming off at about 1-2 lbs a week just because I have the time to think about myself and breathe and sit in silence. I'm not dieting AT ALL.

I am starting to miss working and having my own money. Actually applied for a few jobs this week. Part time of course...

[Viola]

I have a first grader and a sixth grader.  I got a dog last year.  So I have to walk and play with the dog during the day.  It can actually crimp my style. :D  Sunday I'm gone for half the day with church, choir, then later handbell choir.  Monday is my community choir.  I have LLL meetings once a month, Deacon's meeting once a month, I am on the board of directors for my choir, I'm the secretary for the Deacons, I'm the treasurer for my LLL group.  Then there are the LLL phone calls, which can take time.  I also volunteer at the school.  I work in the library and help with various fundraisers and the art, although I haven't done much with art this year, just a few projects, but there will be more stuff coming up in April.  But the library is once or twice a week, and I also volunteer in the classroom for about an hour a week.  And there are duties being a deacon, like visiting people in the hospital and stuff.  My 11 year old is in a choir and I have to help her practice her music, practice my music.  I also practice my violin and viola when I can.  I was considering playing in a community orchestra, but my husband was all, "You're never home as it is."  I'm working on the yearbook for the school which so far means I just have been taking photos, but that will pick up soon. I am have to volunteer at least 10 hours with my daughter's choir, and I agreed to do the publicity and help with the publicity with my choir.  And I also agreed to take on the grant writing for my choir, which isn't a big task.  A lot of the volunteer tasks I do aren't huge, the grant writing was the most time consuming lately, however, just because it took a specific time frame and I had to get it done and get stuff mailed in and all that.

Then there is e-mail, facebook and Mothering and making meals, doing dishes, doing laundry, exercising, watching tv.  It's easy to use up the time. :D

[MariaMadly]

OK, really deep breath . . . I started looking at a paralegal cert program here in town.  My "when children are in school," by the way, is our upcoming empty nest when DS2 leaves for college in the fall.  I've been a SAHM for over 21 years now, so my head is spinning.  I sound like that Dear Abby letter:  "But if I go for my certification I'll be FIFTY in two years!"

Gulp.

[journeymom]

Maria, GO FOR IT!  50 is young! Learning something new, working and being busy in worthwhile work-  it keeps your brain healthy. 

[insidevoice]

I homeschool my oldest, and may continue to do so.  My younger kids are a few years out yet from the issue of school.  There *may* be another at some point, but we're wrestling with that for a bit now.  If we go ahead with that- it will be sooner rather than later.

I have been to school, and I have a BA and MA.  I do freelance a bit still. It has been important to me that I keep some contacts and doors open.   I will be home full time until the youngest child is 5 or 6 anyway- according to plan. (We all know how plans work.) I am hoping to take the next year or so to decide 'what I want to be when I grow up' and rebuild my resume in that direction so I will be marketable in that field.  Right now, I am employable, but not in a field I would really enjoy and thrive in... it would simply be a job to pay the bills.  I refuse to put myself in a position where I could not leave and support myself and the kids on my own. I love and trust DH, but to feel secure, I need to have options.            

At this point however, DH and I do not envision my ever returning to work FT unless it becomes financially necessary.  I would like to be available to the kids if they are in school, and would probably opt to work part time.                                           

[FiveLittleMonkeys]

I have 4 kids in school (10th, 7th, 6th and 3rd grades), and a 21 month old at home.  I'm at home for a LONG time!

But to be honest, as the "big kids" have gotten older, and headed into the teen years/high school, I've been glad that I'm still at home.  It seems like they almost need you more then.  When kids are little, they need you more for their physical needs, but teens need you for emotional needs.  I'm very blessed to be able to stay at home and our house has become the neighborhood hang out for the kids in the area.  It's nice to always know where the kids are - because they're HERE!

My husband's job takes him away for extended periods of time quite often, so it would be difficult (not impossible, of course!) for me to work.  I'm a nurse by education, and 12 hour days are long.

However, when the baby started preschool, we'll have a freshman in college.  Maybe I'll go drive a school bus so I'll still have time to garden and sew!

[insidevoice]

Originally Posted by FiveLittleMonkeys 

But to be honest, as the "big kids" have gotten older, and headed into the teen years/high school, I've been glad that I'm still at home.  It seems like they almost need you more then.  When kids are little, they need you more for their physical needs, but teens need you for emotional needs.  I'm very blessed to be able to stay at home and our house has become the neighborhood hang out for the kids in the area.  It's nice to always know where the kids are - because they're HERE!

This is very much my goal. I want to give them space and freedom, and I certainly don't plan to hover, but being able to provide a safe and comfortable place to be is something I really strive for.