I feel like the un-fun parent

[Ravensong13]

My dd is almost three ( three in March) and stays home with me most days of the week. She spends two afternoons and every other weekend with her bio dad. When she is not here I usually use that time to take clients ( I have a small in home tarot and psychic readings business) or use the time to run errands that are hard to do when I have her. My husband works 2-11pm Monday through Friday so he is here in the mornings to help out with dd ( translates to do fun things with her). We have an agreement that I do most of the house work during the week, which is a lot with five cats! My trouble lately is that I feel like no-fun Mommy. When dd is with bio dad they just mostly play and same with my dh. I try to put most of my cleaning off to times when dd is asleep or not here, but that is just not possible sometimes. She does like to help me with what she can, but I can tell she gets SO bored on days I have to clean. I feel kind of silly complaining about it, but just this morning dd told me to 'get back in bed. Daddy come downstairs with me!' She pretty much, when given the choice, will choose dh to do things for her/with her during the morning. Is this just normal with girls her age? I know that I can't be fun all the time, but I'd like to know how to balance things more!

[ScottyG]

Hope this is not me being captain obvious, but could you save more of the cleaning for night time after she's in bed?  That's when I do most of my cleaning, so I have more time in the day to roll around on the floor and such.

[Ravensong13]

Originally Posted by ScottyG 

Hope this is not me being captain obvious, but could you save more of the cleaning for night time after she's in bed?  That's when I do most of my cleaning, so I have more time in the day to roll around on the floor and such.

I try to do most of it when she's asleep, only problem is that you can hear EVERYTHING in this old house. The main time waster is vacuuming. The cats shed a ton and if I'm not keeping on top of it it gets gross fast( well, gross to me at least). I don't know, maybe I need to lower my standards, but with my seeing clients in the house I kinda need to keep things clean.

[ScottyG]

I guess I'm lucky that my almost-3yo toddler is fascinated with the vacuum.  I just kind of chase her around the room with it while vacuuming, and throw all the floor toys around like a crazy person, and she's ridiculously entertained.

[Ravensong13]

Originally Posted by ScottyG 

I guess I'm lucky that my almost-3yo toddler is fascinated with the vacuum.  I just kind of chase her around the room with it while vacuuming, and throw all the floor toys around like a crazy person, and she's ridiculously entertained.

I wish mine was like that! She's not afraid, just likes to yank on the cord and stop me every five seconds to ask questions while I'm doing it. I think I'm going to try waking up earlier, or at least an hour before she does to try and get more done.

[ScottyG]

One more goofy suggestion: is she the kind of girl who would be entertained by a toy vacuum that she could use while you vacuum?  Just a thought.  Good luck to you!  You can figure it out, for sure!

[greenemami]

I feel like this too.  I work from home, so my day is generally a rush of trying to work, clean, laundry, dishes, errands, etc.  I do take dd to a storytime and usually another "fun" outing a week, though she is usually interacting more with the adult leader than with me.  Add that to having to sit and nurse the baby and get him to sleep, we don't have a lot of purely fun moments in our day.  Then, a few days a week, dp comes home around 3 or 4 so I can work for a few hours and his sole responsibilit is to play with the kids to keep them distracted while I work (because if he tries to do anything else, they will just run to find me).  It is really frustrating because I do feel like I am stressed all day trying to keep everybody happy AND get something done while dp just gets to chill on the floor with the kids, even if there is a good reason for it.

  We have the same problem with a house that really carries noise, so I can't really do any cleaning at night, plus I work after the kids are asleep too, so it all has to get done during the day.  Anyway, yes, I feel your pain :)  I have been trying to make sure to take at least one break in the a.m. and one in the afternoon to sit and play a game with dd and/or ds and remmebering that it is good for kids to participate in keeping the house clean . Dd does love her play vacuuum.  She also likes to "ice skate" on rags wet with vinegar to mop the floor and use the spray bottle and a rag to dust.  In the summer she likes hanging up laundry as well.  Good luck mama, it is tough to balance!