Why does my 3 year old ask the same question over and over?

[Climbergirl]

And over, and over, and over again!  It is driving me nuts.  I have a 2 week old and that probably has something to do with why it is bothering me more (trying to respond to DS1 while DS2 is crying is something I have not gotten used to yet).  But seriously, he will ask "what are you doing?" and if you answer, he will ask it again!  And then again.  Now we have started to ask, "what do you think I am doing?" and he will respond correctly.  So I really don't get it.

I guess I am hoping some logical answer as to why he does this will help me to not get so dang irritated with him that I tell him to be quite (which by that point, I am so stressed, I don't tend to say it as nice as I should).

Thanks!

[averlee]

I think little kids do this to make sure that what they are thinking matches up with reality. One example is my 3 yr old daughter will ask, "Where's papa?" even though she knows he's just left for work. When I tell her, "He's on his way to work," she will usually ask again. And often she will ask me the same question 4-5 times, like making sure the answer won't change. 

[Holiztic]

Mine does this too, but not with questions like "what are you doing?", it is more like "Mommy, may I stand on top of that to reach the book?" and I will look, assess, and say "yes, you may." and he'll ask again and I'll say "yes, Q, you may, go ahead" and then he'll ask again.  I think he doesn't think I really heard him or knew what I was answering. 

But I have heard many times about kids asking the kinds of questions you mention (or any questions) over and over.  Sometimes I think they just want to talk and when they have no new material they go on repeat!

[KLM99]

My 3.5yo does this too - I usually humor her until I can't stand it and then I ask her a follow-up question, which usually defuses it (or at least gets her onto a different question!).  Or I try to answer a different way - sometimes in a funny way if I'm in the mood.  (e.g. "where is daddy?" "he's at work" <repeat><repeat><repeat> "where is daddy?" "he's on the moon!")

I agree that it's irritating!  But I try to just roll with it. 

[downvalleygirl]

i agree, i think they are trying to form the big picture in their minds.  my 3.5 yo does the same thing.  i love your tactic, KLM99!

[mommatooth]

sometimes my 3 will ask ask ask...and then I say " I think you know the answer to that question, but maybe you just want to talk to me?"  usually that is the case and she is unsure about where to start in...so I put away distractions for a moment and we have a little talk... i try to let her steer since that is what she was practicsing with the groundhog day routine.  This usually clears things up and I have found I don't mind taking a break to talk with her, but I do get irritated saying the same thing over and over.