I have pretty severe emetophobia although I am currently halfway through my second pregnancy. I find pregnancy nausea one of the worst to deal with because it's not like a bacterial illness where antibiotics will knock it out and go away quickly--it's just weeks and weeks and weeks of feeling horrible. I had serious problems with anxiety during this pregnancy, to the point where I became very ambivalent about being pregnant. I was living in a country where abortion was illegal so it wasn't an option, but I can totally imagine being in your situation and I know how hard it is.
I've dealt with this since I was a young child and having kids seems to make it worse--I see my son as a little germ vector, not a lovable child. I have gone through therapy (cognitive-behavioral therapy, as well as talk therapy) and taken anti-anxiety medications. I'm starting to think about doing hypnosis as well. I could go through my list of all the things and situations I avoid and all the thoughts that occupy my mind, but that's probably familiar territory to you and I don't want to add any anxiety to your list if you aren't already anxious about it
Just saying, I have been there, I am still there, and I have been able to get my life manageable but not enjoyable, and I go through spells of doing really bad...CBT was helpful especially as far as reducing panic attacks and making them manageable, the anti-anxiety medication helped a lot at the time as well.
This pregnancy I had really bad ALL-DAY nausea from about week 4 to now (week 18 and counting). I did find some supplements that have helped wonders: milk thistle (an herb that helps the liver function and process all of the hormones that cause early pregnancy nausea) twice a day, Vitamin B6 twice a day, Unisom at night (I am taking 1.5 pills at night and that gets me through most of the day, with occasional mild nausea in the evenings). The combo of these three made my nausea so much better, from basically never leaving the house (or my bed) to being a normal person again and enjoying food. There are also prescription medications that your doctor can prescribe (Zofran, and I think some others) if those don't work. I know you aren't pregnant now, but finding this information was, for me, a miracle and has made thinking about getting pregnant again a real possibility, not something to DREAD. Adoption is another option I seriously considered.
My heart really goes out to you. It's such a hard thing to deal with. My last therapist was like, "well, this phobia is one of the most difficult to treat"...and it IS, but I can say that things can get better, your life can become manageable again, and therapy can definitely ease things up. Right now, it's most important for you to focus on getting your mind better again. Grieve as much as you need for your baby--you made the best decision you could for your mental health, but that doesn't make it easy or not hurt. Therapy can be a great place to work out all of the feelings of guilt and anger and sadness.
If you need to talk, PM me anytime.