I'm new here, so forgive me if I don't use the proper abbreviations for everything.
I gave birth to our son 6 months ago and now my partner and I's relationship is suffering greatly. We knew it would be hard, but this is SOOOOOOOOOO much harder than we ever dreamed. Here's some info
- both excited to have children, agreed I would carry 1st and her 2nd (though now she's unsure of carrying #2 - which is fine with me, I'd love to carry again)
- she was awesome during labor and birth
- 1st two weeks after birth, she felt like I was a "burden" as I was in bed and healing for 2 weeks. Went to therapy and things started to get a little better. Though I still have some resentment that I'm going back into individual therapy to work on.
- I went back to work 8 hours a week for the fall semester. She went back to her regular 32 hours a week to a job she hates. I start next week at 12 hours a week. She is resentful of me being at home (besides my hours working) with our son AND it's especially been bad since she hates her work.
- We have a family bed with our son (queen sized - we need a king!) thus, not much snuggling happening and often she sleeps in guest room on days when she has to get up early for work so she gets more sleep. (our son isn't a cryer and wakes/fusses a little to let me know he needs to nurse but then we go right back to sleep, we are having success with pocket diapers in the night, so no need for diaper changes either).
- We are heading back into therapy to work through this. We are both highly skilled in conflict resolution and skillful communication, but of course, all of that falls by the way side, we get triggered and resort to old (unheathly and often hurtful) patterns of interacting.
I would just love to get some insight from others who have struggled and got through it or are gettting through it, and ideas to bring intimacy back into our lives (though I have zero sex drive). I would like to know that I'm not alone.