I'm going prematurely GRAY. AP Moms, Please help :( - Page 3

[Dixielane]

Originally Posted by sharon71 

I say where there is a will there is a way.

lol well, by chance, we have an empty house tonight!

[sharon71]

well get off here and go get some.

[sosurreal09]

hahaha yall are funny.

If you really want the whole side cart thing, there is no talking you out of it. Do what you feel is best just know it may or may not be easy and may or may not work. I am not one of those people who think babies can or should be "trained" I just go with the flow and provide stability wherever my DD's natural routine goes.

My friend's DD is about 3 and she decided the other day she wants her own room and she hasn't gone into her parents at all. I personally believe in the benefits of a family bed. I mean side carting a crib isn't bad, it is co-sleeping, I just wouldn't personally force it if it doesn't go well.

A lot of people will say you are the boss make her do x,y,z yeah ok...a lot of babies do GIVE UP eventually, but that doesn't mean you did what was best for them. If she is telling you "mama I hate this, knock it off" in her baby cries and you just keep on doing it sure she will most likely just give up, but you may lose trust from her as a result.

[Dixielane]

Originally Posted by sosurreal09 

hahaha yall are funny.

If you really want the whole side cart thing, there is no talking you out of it. Do what you feel is best just know it may or may not be easy and may or may not work. I am not one of those people who think babies can or should be "trained" I just go with the flow and provide stability wherever my DD's natural routine goes.

My friend's DD is about 3 and she decided the other day she wants her own room and she hasn't gone into her parents at all. I personally believe in the benefits of a family bed. I mean side carting a crib isn't bad, it is co-sleeping, I just wouldn't personally force it if it doesn't go well.

A lot of people will say you are the boss make her do x,y,z yeah ok...a lot of babies do GIVE UP eventually, but that doesn't mean you did what was best for them. If she is telling you "mama I hate this, knock it off" in her baby cries and you just keep on doing it sure she will most likely just give up, but you may lose trust from her as a result.

 Thank you.. I do not know that I am (our or relationship) is cut out for extremely strict sleep training. I cannot sit and listen to her cry, and I have no problem nurturing her 100% right now, and my personal feeling is if we need "sleep training", we can approach it at an age where she has better concept of it.. I hope I am not just setting myself up for a spoiled toddler who refuses to ever sleep alone, lol.  I cannot count the number of times my family tells me "See, told you! She's going to be stuck in your bed till she's 10".. So I get nervous. lol It's just been frusterating trying to fight this... I mean I'd be up with her working on this ALL NIGHT, screaming included...... Am I wrong to just think to try later on when she's more open to the idea? Or will there never be such a day? lol

Oh, and just for laughs, me and hubby did get alone time when everyone was gone and DD was in bed... We're like WHOOHOO! We had a  good hour to ourselves, but juuust at the worst moment.. the baby monitor starts blaring her cries... haha!! Go figure!! The baby radar was going off in her little head I think! The same radar that makes her cry when momma juuuust fixes her own dinner plate, or when momma has shampoo in her hair in the shower. LOL

[sosurreal09]

I absolutely believe and have witnessed that kids don't stay in you're bed forever. They all move on when they are ready. Heck when she is old enough start a sibling bed, where the kids can chose to co-sleep together ...or not.

I don't believe in sleep training at any age. My BFF sleep trained her baby at 9 m/o...shes 20 m/o and STILL not STTN. It's all BS it really and truly is.

Children under 3 y/o wake at night b/c their brains are not developmentally capable of not waking. When they are older they usually just roll over and continue to sleep. You're DD is already doing that as long as you are near, so that is a big step period.

You have to not let people get to you.

I breastfeed and always get "when will you just give her formula" or now since she's older "just wean her already!!!" my BFF formula fed and always got "Why aren't you breastfeeding, you are horrible ect ect"

No one can win either way, it is about doing what YOU feel is best period. No matter how you parent in someone elses eyes you are doing it dead wrong and he will be destroyed b/c x,y,z.

babies can not be spoiled period. My DD is a toddler and she is the most laid back and confident kid it's amazing. Whenever she is in childcare at church or playing with another child or we are out and about ALL we get are compliments about how well behaved/confident/independent/laid back/good she is. AP supports her ability to feel confident and go explore b/c she's not afraid. She knows we support her 100% and are there for her every bump and bruise or whatever need she has it has and will be met.

Every single kid she has been around that was left to CIO (even just for 10 mins) is not like her they cling to their moms they are afraid to explore. Seriously I can tell which kids are Ap'd or not every time we go to a play group! Sure some AP kids still have a clingy temperment, but seriously you can see the difference, at least I can.

She was in the pre-school room at church last week (b/c all the kids her age cry the whole time and I hate putting her in the baby/toddler room) I told them she's so laid back don't worry she will be fine. I set her up with some toys and started an activity for her and left. 2hrs later (yes church is 2hrs for us) we went and got her and all the "teachers" were amazed by how she didn't cry once, shared with all the kids, was hugging everyone, and was so well behaved and self reliant. We couldn't stop getting compliments on her!

I can 100% say I have no regrets APing, co-sleeping, extended BFing, BWing...everything has helped her be the child she is. She was always a high needs baby/kid, she's very spirited as well. She has come a long way and is who she is today b/c we parented to her needs, had we gone the other way and "trained her" and forced her into things I know she wouldn't be how she is now.

DH was skeptical at first about AP but now you should here him. Everyone always says how happy and confident she is and he is always like "We AP and co-sleep, she's still BFing you know, it has all helped her so much, tell you're future wives to parent this way you won't regret it" It's too funny.

AP builds the foundation for their lives.

Have you read any AP books? I highly recommend the Dr Sears Discipline book. It has a lot of info on GD and why doing training and things aren't good for babies or toddlers. The baby book has a lot of info too.

[Dixielane]

Originally Posted by sosurreal09 

I absolutely believe and have witnessed that kids don't stay in you're bed forever. They all move on when they are ready. Heck when she is old enough start a sibling bed, where the kids can chose to co-sleep together ...or not.

I don't believe in sleep training at any age. My BFF sleep trained her baby at 9 m/o...shes 20 m/o and STILL not STTN. It's all BS it really and truly is.

Children under 3 y/o wake at night b/c their brains are not developmentally capable of not waking. When they are older they usually just roll over and continue to sleep. You're DD is already doing that as long as you are near, so that is a big step period.

You have to not let people get to you.

I breastfeed and always get "when will you just give her formula" or now since she's older "just wean her already!!!" my BFF formula fed and always got "Why aren't you breastfeeding, you are horrible ect ect"

No one can win either way, it is about doing what YOU feel is best period. No matter how you parent in someone elses eyes you are doing it dead wrong and he will be destroyed b/c x,y,z.

babies can not be spoiled period. My DD is a toddler and she is the most laid back and confident kid it's amazing. Whenever she is in childcare at church or playing with another child or we are out and about ALL we get are compliments about how well behaved/confident/independent/laid back/good she is. AP supports her ability to feel confident and go explore b/c she's not afraid. She knows we support her 100% and are there for her every bump and bruise or whatever need she has it has and will be met.

Every single kid she has been around that was left to CIO (even just for 10 mins) is not like her they cling to their moms they are afraid to explore. Seriously I can tell which kids are Ap'd or not every time we go to a play group! Sure some AP kids still have a clingy temperment, but seriously you can see the difference, at least I can.

She was in the pre-school room at church last week (b/c all the kids her age cry the whole time and I hate putting her in the baby/toddler room) I told them she's so laid back don't worry she will be fine. I set her up with some toys and started an activity for her and left. 2hrs later (yes church is 2hrs for us) we went and got her and all the "teachers" were amazed by how she didn't cry once, shared with all the kids, was hugging everyone, and was so well behaved and self reliant. We couldn't stop getting compliments on her!

I can 100% say I have no regrets APing, co-sleeping, extended BFing, BWing...everything has helped her be the child she is. She was always a high needs baby/kid, she's very spirited as well. She has come a long way and is who she is today b/c we parented to her needs, had we gone the other way and "trained her" and forced her into things I know she wouldn't be how she is now.

DH was skeptical at first about AP but now you should here him. Everyone always says how happy and confident she is and he is always like "We AP and co-sleep, she's still BFing you know, it has all helped her so much, tell you're future wives to parent this way you won't regret it" It's too funny.

AP builds the foundation for their lives.

Have you read any AP books? I highly recommend the Dr Sears Discipline book. It has a lot of info on GD and why doing training and things aren't good for babies or toddlers. The baby book has a lot of info too.

 LOL Funny about the "future wives" thing.. haha!

Yes I EBF, and I am getting alot of comments because DD is not even on solids yet. We offer stuff, from puree, to real adult food but she hasn't really been interested enough to eat, and chew. Mostly lick, lol.

I've gotten comments like, "oh feed her rice cereal at night in her bottle to help her sleep".. then I counter that with "she refuses a bottle".. so they say "okay, well spoon feed her".. I say "She refuses to eat food, only breastmilk"... Doesn't go down so well, lol.

I like Dr Sears ALOT, and love his articles about his studying his wife and children in their family bed.. how he watched her and their babies, how they interacted all night, etc. Very interesting. I will have to get his book. I read Elizabeth Pantleys, but honestly, it was not what I expected. It seemed she mostly just encouraged patience, and keeping track of sleep habits.. so I was let down that there was not more information in it.

I will check into Dr sears book. BTW what is "GD"? (I might know, but for right now its totally escaping me)

[sharon71]

About the forever thing I'm beginning to wonder about that DD is 5.5 and still sleeping with either me or me and DH. LOL we want our bed back.

[sosurreal09]

Originally Posted by sharon71 

About the forever thing I'm beginning to wonder about that DD is 5.5 and still sleeping with either me or me and DH. LOL we want our bed back.

UH OH lol well I am sure he will get there at some point. Did he just start school? Maybe it's a lot of change right now?

GD= gentle discipline.

People always push the rice cereal!! My Dr said don't even bother with it lol She's a bit crunchy though so I am lucky. She completely supports everything we do (except she claims to be pro-vax, but the office itself is...so..)

OH my SIL did sleep training too and she let him CIO every night for 2+ hours to go to bed. (I watched him during the day and AP'ed him and did not know she was doing this) Anyway she did this everyday until he "learned" not to bother anymore and he stopped cryin as much... Fast forward he is  4 y/o now and not STTN (once thy can get out of bed what do you do then? lol) and he has a very strange relationship with SIL. He will be at her all day long and tell her he doesn't love her and and just cry and cry. It's so sad and IMO he behaves like that with her b/c she did that to him. He is only like that with her and is always like that with her. When he was 2.5 y/o he stayed with us for over a month and he was fine. Whenever he sees me he lights up runs over and says "me love you, me miss you". Now I will say his mom has some other issues too but I think her doing that to him has changed the way he may have turned out by not doing it. Anyways it was all in vain b/c now he's older and fights sleeping all the time and will wake up and scream and do all these things at night. They are also co-sleeping now b/c she wasn't getting any sleep with him being in his own bed.

so CIO only seems to "work" during a short period of time b/c once they can climb out of the crib or have their own beds they can do what they want essentially.

[Dixielane]

Originally Posted by sosurreal09 

Originally Posted by sharon71 

About the forever thing I'm beginning to wonder about that DD is 5.5 and still sleeping with either me or me and DH. LOL we want our bed back.

UH OH lol well I am sure he will get there at some point. Did he just start school? Maybe it's a lot of change right now?

GD= gentle discipline.

People always push the rice cereal!! My Dr said don't even bother with it lol She's a bit crunchy though so I am lucky. She completely supports everything we do (except she claims to be pro-vax, but the office itself is...so..)

OH my SIL did sleep training too and she let him CIO every night for 2+ hours to go to bed. (I watched him during the day and AP'ed him and did not know she was doing this) Anyway she did this everyday until he "learned" not to bother anymore and he stopped cryin as much... Fast forward he is  4 y/o now and not STTN (once thy can get out of bed what do you do then? lol) and he has a very strange relationship with SIL. He will be at her all day long and tell her he doesn't love her and and just cry and cry. It's so sad and IMO he behaves like that with her b/c she did that to him. He is only like that with her and is always like that with her. When he was 2.5 y/o he stayed with us for over a month and he was fine. Whenever he sees me he lights up runs over and says "me love you, me miss you". Now I will say his mom has some other issues too but I think her doing that to him has changed the way he may have turned out by not doing it. Anyways it was all in vain b/c now he's older and fights sleeping all the time and will wake up and scream and do all these things at night. They are also co-sleeping now b/c she wasn't getting any sleep with him being in his own bed.

so CIO only seems to "work" during a short period of time b/c once they can climb out of the crib or have their own beds they can do what they want essentially.

 Very true. And good point, they can climb out eventually, or get up if they are in a big kid bed. I don't know that I want to hold a kid hostage in bed -- seems counterproductive.

And on the rice cereal, yes, I don't know why it's pushed so much, that stuff is GROSS. I can't see a breastfed baby who gets to experience different flavors in BM, enjoying rice cereal at all. I wonder how much flavor gets in breastmilk, because I eat very very spicey.. and so far the only thing DD went crazy for was a piece of seasoned chicken that I held for her and let her suck on.

[savithny]

In the end, though, a mother who isn't getting enough sleep isn't going to do anyone any favors, which is why some people might find sidecarring a better solution than to continue to struggle to make something work that isn't working, KWIM?    It's perfectly possible to do any number of different sleep arrangements without anyone crying (for hours or otherwise), and I think there are plenty of sleep arrangments that fall under the larger phrase "attachment parenting" without making someone feel they're a failure because they're "Not doing AP right," or because they're miserable co-sleeping the the way "everyone says you should."  If a sidecar or an Arms Reach works better, then everyone is happier.  If a crib in the same room lets everyone rest without tears, then everyone is happier.   

[sosurreal09]

Originally Posted by savithny 

In the end, though, a mother who isn't getting enough sleep isn't going to do anyone any favors, which is why some people might find sidecarring a better solution than to continue to struggle to make something work that isn't working, KWIM?    It's perfectly possible to do any number of different sleep arrangements without anyone crying (for hours or otherwise), and I think there are plenty of sleep arrangments that fall under the larger phrase "attachment parenting" without making someone feel they're a failure because they're "Not doing AP right," or because they're miserable co-sleeping the the way "everyone says you should."  If a sidecar or an Arms Reach works better, then everyone is happier.  If a crib in the same room lets everyone rest without tears, then everyone is happier.   

I agree I was not saying she was doing anything wrong with side carting her. She DOES sleep good in the family bed which is why I said she's crazy messing with that lol. I did not mean to intend she was doing anything wrong. I feel that sleep training is wrong. All I said was it may or may not work out. She was having problems with the baby crying for hours when she was trying the crib out. Obvs if she had transitioned to a crib with no problem, there would not really be a discussion here lol

I apologize if that's how my opinion was perceived.