Help with a mix of teens, and poor choices, by all of us....

[4teens]

a quick background, to help with where we came from.

2 teens are mine, DD13, DD14.  Then we have DF's 2, DD14, and DS 15.  The only one out of the 4 with a weight problem is DSD14.  My 2 are lucky to be built like myself, long and lean, and DSS, is very tall, and not carrying any extra weight.  DF, is 6'2 and 250lbs, big guy all around.  So, where we are today is.

This weekend I went grocery shopping, I do meal plan, and have a menu on the fridge that the 4 of them seem to enjoy.  They cook with me, clean up, and are generally pretty good kids.  I bought a box of 48 granola bars, (which I normally don't do).  All of the kids were at the 'other parents' house, until Monday.  On Wednesday before I left for work, (I work nights) I made a comment that I could not believe that they had gone through 36 of those granola bars, in 48 hours.  Nobody knew anything about this.  Wasn't me, is all I heard.  Mind you, we had other snacks, pretzels, oranges, celery, carrots, etc.  It was not as if THAT is all they have to choose from.

DF and I have been talking about how to make the right choices in what we buy, to help them with what they chose to eat.  My 2, have always had a well rounded, home cooked diet.  His 2, have lived on prepackaged foods, and frozen things.  His are embracing home cooked meals, and love the variety.  Until snack time.

A typical set of snacks after school when it was just my 2 would be, as follows.  saltines with pb&j, crackers and cheese, micro popcorn, carrots, grapes, maybe an orange etc.  They eat this snack at the dining room table, while doing homework.

A typical set of snacks after school when it was just his 2, bowl of potato chips, easy-mac, pop tart. These would be eaten in the living room watching TV.

You get what I'm up against.

I told DF, I will no longer buy the convenience snack foods, we will go back to the way I 'use to' do it.  Grapes, apples, carrots, celery, pretzels.  He was on board, but realizes that this is more work for me.  I know that if I take the grapes and clean, and pull of the vines, they will eat them.  Celery if cut/washed they will eat them.

But what I need to know, how do I do this with the kids, without being a "your way is wrong" this is the right way attitude.  I feel so sorry for my DSD14, who is probably 40lbs overweight, yet plays sports.  I don't want to make this about 'her'....yet....I did find 8 granola wrappers in her room.....?

[Chicky2]

I have a stepdaughter who ate the way your df's do.  Granted she was much younger when she came to live w/us, but still the same issues.  I presented it as a "I go to the grocery store and this is what I choose for us to eat" thing.  Other than that, could you present it as a better financial choice?  Would they get that?  Maybe say your NY resolutions include making better choices about the food you all spend $ on.  You'd rather it be actual real food, etc.?

[Annie Mac]

Seeing as you are the grocery shopper, why don't you just buy healthy foods, prepare them, and not say a thing? Since the granola bars were an unusual purchase for you, I doubt they'd notice their absence. Even if they do, you just say, "I bought them as a treat. I don't usually buy them." And the thing is, if the yummy food is around, it will get eaten first. We are wired to like sweet, fat, salty foods. They're yummy. At least this is the theory I'm going with, seeing as I myself find it difficult not to eat if it's around :)

[SpuglyRoo]

I totally agree with Annie. I would shop the way you did previously, without buying prepackaged snacks.  If anyone questions why certain items aren't in the pantry I would suggest that they find a recipe to make them and put the ingredients on the grocery list.  If they have to work for the snacks they are more likely to eat less of them and what they do end up eating will be hopefully healthier.  Especially if you find ways to specifically make it healthier, like adding whole wheat flour into recipes and reducing the sugar, salt, or fats called for. 

[4teens]

Thanks!  Good idea's.  Will incorporate them into my grocery shopping/planning