3.5 year old dd still not dry at night

[Plarka]

She's been potty trained since she was 18 months, in the day.  She wears a diaper at night, and it's soaked by morning. She used to wear cloth diapers but they can't hold all her pee anymore so it's disposables. 

But it's not just a night thing, if she falls asleep in the daytime in her carseat or on the sofa or something, and hasn't peed shortly before, she wets herself in her sleep. 

I feel like it's fine and she'll grow out of it and just wake to pee when her body is ready.  But should we really be trying things like waking her at night to go to the bathroom?  I think it would be disastrous, she's horrible when she wakes up from being asleep in the day!  

[Alyantavid]

Nope.  She'll outgrow it when she's ready.

My oldest was potty trained at 2 and wore diapers at night for maybe a month after that.  He's wet the bed maybe a handful of times since and he's now almost 9.

My younger son was also potty trained at 2 and wore diapers every night until a few months ago.  Even for daytime naps, he'd wet.  I did have him go potty before bed and it he happened to wake up and come into our bed, we'd go into the bathroom.  But really, it just took him some time.  He wore diapers a solid 2 years after he was potty trained and now (he's 4.5 now) he can go all night without wetting and he wakes himself up at night if he needs to go.

[Spring Lily]

Mine is 4 1/2 and still isn't dry in the morning (or after the rare long nap). I'm not worried. Few of her friends are able to stay dry all night. She'll do it when her body is ready for it. I know other people in DH's family were closer to 7, so I think genetics play a part too--how deeply they sleep and how strong the message from their bladders is to wake them up. She was in cloth diapers too during the day, but for the last 2 years she's been in pull-ups at night. Not ideal and I wish there was a better choice, but I'm not going to wake her up to use the bathroom at night. I did experiment with leaving a potty chair by her bed at night, thinking that if it was *right there* she might get up to use it if she woke up, but....no.

[yaboobarb]

Funny my daughter is doing the same thing. Other two were night dry first, then potty trained. She is all backwards.  I was thinking -- how many more diapers... :) Good to see someone else is having the same "problem"

[Spring Lily]

I think your other two were the exception, not the rule! From all the parents I've talked to IRL & online, it's pretty normal to take longer to stay dry at night than it does during the day.

[Llyra]

Getting on my Nocturnal Enuresis soapbox!

At age 5, approximately 20% of children still are not consistently dry at night (defined as a bedwetting incident twice a month or more).

At age 10, approximately 5% of children still wet.

Adult bedwetting rates (above 18 years old) are estimated to be about .5 to 1% depending on the study.

I got all that from Wikipedia, which cites an article from Pediatrics as its source.

I wouldn't worry a bit about a child at 3 1/2 who's not nighttime dry yet. None of my three were, at that age. Nor would I be doing anything to encourage it that will disrupt the family's peace or the child's sleep. It'll come when the child's body is ready, with no special effort on your part. There is a hormone that suppresses urine production during sleep, and a developmental stage that arrives when a child is able to wake up when the bladder is full. Neither of them can be rushed. And making an issue of it in my experience only turns it into an issue.

There are treatments and interventions available to help older children who are suffering emotional or social consequences from continued bedwetting. But responsible physicians don't recommend them until children are 6 or even 7 years old. They are only minimally effective before then, and so many children have a spontaneous "cure" in those few years anyway.

[Spring Lily]

Originally Posted by Llyra 

There is a hormone that suppresses urine production during sleep, and a developmental stage that arrives when a child is able to wake up when the bladder is full. Neither of them can be rushed.

Thanks for posting that, I didn't know about the hormone. That may explain the genetic factor--that likely starts at different ages depending on the family. Also explains why treatments didn't work for my DH's family and then it was "spontaneously cured" at age 7!

This is exactly why I would not worry, it's hard enough for the kids, why put extra stress or pressure on them when they can't control it yet?

[sunnygir1]

My dd will be 4 in February and she still wears diapers at night.  She occasionally wakes up dry, but usually wakes up soaked.  For her it doesn't help to wake her up to pee; she just gets upset and doesn't pee anyway.  We're just waiting until she's ready.

[Peony]

4y DD2 still soaks a diaper every night. DD1 was dry at 2y at night which I know it odd. We aren't waking her up at night either, she will eventually stop when she is older. 

[cappuccinosmom]

I would wait it out a while longer.  My middle son was a night wetter for a long time.  My youngest (2 years younger) was consistently dry at night long before the middle child.  I had him in pullups and then night pants until he started soaking through them every night.  By that time he was 5 and I decided to go with early waking, which has worked well.  He has an alarm clock, and most days he gets up at 5.30 to use the potty, and then goes back to bed.  He is really happy to be able to stay dry, and he gets a bonus of being the first one to crawl into bed with me in the morning, if he needs a cuddle. :D

[enjoythesilence]

I would not worry about it. As others have said, when they are ready, they are ready. My 3 year old is not potty trained at all. He will go in the potty sometimes, at his choosing, but is still in diapers, and this does not bother me. I know he will potty learn when he is ready. I do think it is a developmental thing, that varies from kid to kid.  My older  kids were completely potty trained at around 4 yrs. I am actually surprised to hear of younger toddlers being done with the diapers, because all of mine seem to be on the later end of things. I don't think either way is better or worse, just where each child is at in their readiness. :)