Looking for fostering advice and maybe a lil bit of venting...

[mommaluv321]

I am new to fostering and currently have 3 siblings staying with us. Their mama is an old friend of mine that is in a really bad situation, that has just gotten worse. She left a DV situation, and was living short term in a motel. DCF was called because there was concern for safety of the kids because the father knew where they were, and there is restraining order in place that the kids were not included on. The court also advised her to let the father have visitation. They did not warn her that removal was about to happen, they just swooped in took them. I filed emergency papers for "family" placement and got the kids. She was told that if she got into a DV family shelter she would get them back immediately, she did and got them back on the 26th (sucks because they didnt spend christmas with mama) and we thought everything was good. Apparently, someone called and made an accusation of her trying to contact the father, which is NOT true. So, I have the kids again, a scant week and a half later... I dont understand. Mama and kids are extremely distraught, and this all seems a bit extreme. Is this normal for DCF to remove kids again on the basis of an anonymous phone call? Is this the way I can expect my future foster situations to go? Any and all advice/shared experiences would be greatly appreciated!!

[CrunchyChristianMama]

I have no advice, but I just wanted to offer support.  You are doing such a great thing by helping provide some level of security and familiarity to those kids.  I can't imagine how hard it must be on them to be tossed about like that.  Hopefully the mom will be able to get back on her feet and find a nice, safe place for her and her children.

[mommaluv321]

Thanks CCM, I'm trying really hard to just be there for the kiddos! Anyone else feel like chiming in? I could really use some guidance!

[1stTimeMama4-4-10]

I work in the field of child protection.  To answer your question, in short, yes.  Child protective services, or DCF, takes domestic violence VERY seriously because it represents both an incredible lack of judgement on the part of the victim (usually the mother) because they are unable or unwilling to protect the children, and serious danger, both physical and emotional/psychological, from the abuser. Without more facts, it's hard to say whether DCF did the right thing in your case, but generally, they err on the side of caution.  Disrupting a child from their family of origin is terrible. What is worse is doing nothing while the children are put at serious risk.  

The court systems in every state have protections in place that entitle birth parents to expedited hearings on the issue of whether their children should be returned. If there is evidence that your friend was, in fact, contacting the children's father in violation of an agreement with DCF or a court order, the children will not be returned.  If the anonymous tip had no basis, the kids should go home. The way the referral system works is that all callers have the option of remaining anonymous and DCF will conduct an investigation - so no decisions are made solely based on an anonymous tip. They are made based on an investigation following the tip. Hope that helps. 

[mommaluv321]

Thanks for the input, I've been doing some hard thinking about the situation and understand the rules are there for a reason. We find out today at some point whether they get to go back to mama. If not, we have some SERIOUS re-arranging to do! It was supposed to be a temp situation and things have been a bit hectic lately, going from 2 kids to 5.