13 month old harming himself

[Nan411]

I just wanted to get some feedback about whether this behavior is normal. 13 month old DS is always banging his head on stuff. Sometimes he does it for no reason and sometimes he does it when he's angry or frustrated. For example, he'll find something on the floor in the kitchen and try to eat it,  and when I take it away and he starts crying and banging his head on the floor. Then he cries even more because he hurts his head. Sometimes he also throws himself back suddenly and hits himself on something.

 The other day SO and I took him for a walk in his stroller and SO said "look he's biting himself". I looked down at his arm and he had bitten himself hard enough to leave bite marks. This behavior kind of freaks me out. I have a six year old dd and I don't remember her doing any of this stuff. Is this normal boy behavior or something I should be concerned about?

[NEastMomma]

Oh, the head banging.  If you look at my DS's year old photos you will see a beautiful black and blue bump right on his forehead from repeatedly doing this.  Yup, my DS did that all... the... time - whenever he felt frustrated.  If I took something away, if he couldn't quite reach something he wanted in his toybox, if I wouldn't let him play with the scissors.  Though everyone reassured me it was normal, it really bothered me.  I thought the same thing as you: Why is my guy harming himself?  A favorite was the headbang on the floor, but walls were also good too.  Occasionally he'd throw himself backwards, perhaps for variety, I don't know.  My kid literally had a permanant bump and bruise in the same spot for what seemed like months... and then it all but stopped.  DS is now 17 mos and almost never bangs his head.  He still does occasionally if exceptionally tired and then if he becomes frustrated. 

I never did ask my dr about it b/c my sister said one of her kids did it too.  What I did was just try to validate his frustration.  I'd say, "I know, it's hard when Mama takes things away" while gently helping him to stop the banging. 

While my DS was never a biter of anything (himself or others), I'd imagine it would fall into same category.  Perhaps someone will chime in with their experiences.  In the meantime, can you call you dr's office for some reassurance?  I am SURE they'll tell you it is normal.  Hang in there - sounds like you have a very normal baby who is just trying to vent some frustration.  Hugs! 

[Courtney-Ostaff]

Headbanging is very common for kids who are verbally frustrated.  Apparently, the inertia releases endorphins at the time of impact, canceling out the pain, or some such thing. I had it explained to me once, but I've forgotten.  As your child learns to speak English, that behavior will fade out.  In the meantime, if it's constant and severe, you can get a padded helmet, so they don't hurt themselves too badly.

[ShwarmaQueen]

DD did it and so does DS. Both of mine were/are "spirited" ahem, to say the least though, so I think it could be a personality thing. 

[NEastMomma]

Wow, that's so interesting!  Made me realize that I did teach DS how to say "help" and perhaps that is what cut down on the banging.  I bet he was (still is) verbally frustrated b/c he doesn't have a very wide vocabulary...  Fascinating.  Thanks for sharing!

[sleepingbeauty]

Oh geez.  Holy crap did we have that problem!  W used to do this when she was younger.  Every time something made her mad she'd do it to get a reaction from everyone.  I slowly realized that if I ignored it and she didn't get the reaction she was looking for, she stopped.

Funny, related story:  We were all in the pool one day and W was sitting in one of those floaty mesh thingies (obviously with one of us right there at all times!) and something pissed her off big time.  So what does she do?  He tries to head-butt the "floor", totally forgetting that she is sitting in a puddle of water.  I'll never forget the hilarious look of surprise on her face! O_O She never did it again after that! hahahahaha

[beebalmmama]

Yes, happening here too. We've started calling ds2 "Headbanger" because he was doing all the time. He's been pretty non-verbal until about a month ago and is babbling a lot more now. He's also not banging his head as much either. I'm not sure if there is a correlation or not. He doesn't have any words yet ( except maybe mama and dog). But he previously was a non babbler and now has several times of the day where he jabbers away.

He certainly has had his fair share of bruises on the forehead.