Three of my great-aunts, whom no one around here as seen in at least 20 years, came down to visit this week. So my mom threw a sort of family reunion. I realized that almost all of my grandmother's grandchildren (I don't know how many there are, but she has six kids, so it's a lot) have children. I think my and my younger cousins-turned-siblings, who are still 13 and 14, are the only exceptions. She's even a great-great-grandmother recently, since my cousin's daughter had a kid. I've been struggling with feeling "behind" due to not having had kids and other life milestones yet, and that drove the feeling in a little harder. :/ Granted, most of the ones who had kids had them by accident before turning 18, so I shouldn't feel bad....
There were some parenting arguments going on, but I didn't hear anybody arguing for anything I'd agree with. :(
Wow, long time no see ladies! I've been enthralled with the conversation at hand, about it being "weird" according to society to actively plan years in advance for children. I actually just posted on Facebook about this the other day. For some reason, it's considered bad in our society to actively look forward to parenting and if, god forbid, you say something like "I can't wait to someday have children" people instantly assume you're looking for a guy to latch onto NOW to reproduce with. I would bet that there are also guys out there who look forward to marriage and children, but they're taught even moreso to never bring it up. The way I see it, I'm almost 22 years old. Now, anthropologists have found homo sapien skeletons dating back 200,000 years and it's only been the past 50 years where you don't get married (or partnered back in the stone ages) between ages 15-20. Biologically speaking, I should have a partner and at least one child by now. Of course my body is screaming at me every time I see a baby, of course it's something that occupies my mind frequently...that's nature doing it's job!
To make that even more extreme, in recent centuries the age of sexual maturity has been getting younger and younger, so all else being equal, we'd be having kids younger.
Off hand, I know of one culture (Mongolian Empire) where the typical marriage age was 12. I wonder how many of them were physically capable of bearing children at that age. Maybe they were married so young so that they could get used to adult life before having a child?
So here's what I'm wondering:
-How do you know if attachment parenting is right for you? My husband and I really love our sleep and have trouble sharing the bed with our pets - while the family bed makes sense through the first at least year, how is it done? I need my space. I also need my privacy with my hubby you know, for the things that will bring said child in the first place. Is that crazy and selfish?
Nighttime parenting is a troubling one for me. I feel like, regardless of where the baby is sleeping, if it wakes up and cries/fusses, you should go to it and try to comfort it. It just feels wrong not to (and at some point it becomes unhealthy not to). But with that parent philosophy, how are you ever supposed to have sex?!
I tend to do a lot of tossing and turning before I can sleep, so I feel like having the baby on the bed with me won't be a good idea. But then I keep imagining a scenario where I'm super tired but the baby reeeeaaaally wants to be held, and the obvious solution to that is to snuggle the baby while I sleep (in a bed). So maybe I should just be prepared for five possible sleeping arrangements, lol.
I guess I can take all the mothering practice I can get...I'm sure there must be some shared experience between mothering a human baby and a squirrel baby or an opossum baby!
Ooh, I thought of one: cleaning up poo! And other such things! The more poop/pee/vomit/blood/etc you clean up now, the less it'll bother you later!