Dealing with high need baby or "colic" (reflux and/or dairy allergy?)

[Calliope84]

My baby is almost 6 weeks old and I am pretty sure she is suffering from reflux and/or dairy allergy. I am in the process of eliminating all dairy to see if that helps (she is EBF.) I try to wear her when possible, but she is very fussy and wearing her doesn't usually calm her like everyone says it should. I really think she is in pain and that is why, though. She arches her back a lot, she spits up a lot and always has the hiccups. A lot of times we hear her throwing up a little though nothing comes out. She pulls on and off my nipple sometimes and acts desperate to eat but then won't (that sets off crying spells.) There are some intense periods during the evening and sometimes morning where she needs to be held constantly and sometimes cries at the littlest thing. She sounds congested a lot, because she keeps throwing up. 

We co-sleep, but she fidgets a lot at night, roots around for my nipple, and acts uncomfortable but never wakes all the way up. It can be maddening. So now... if she will go in her swing we put her in there to get her to sleep and be calm. I feel guilty doing that, but the alternative is a very high need fussy / crying baby and we can only take so much. This will be worse for me when my DH goes back to work next week. I have yet to be alone all day with her without any help.

Every single morning she likes to be walked up and down the hallways and go into rooms and look at everything. We tell her what everything is. Usually my husband does that part.  Sometimes she'll let me just read to her instead. She gets really grumpy if you stand still or try to put her down at this time. She has some really nice calm times throughout the day where she smiles and interacts and is really fun to be with. (She is strangely really happy and calm usually on the changing table only and she is lying on her back which makes no sense to us. She HATES cradle hold and being on her back a lot of the time.) She also feeds calmly sometimes, but not often enough. She eats every 1.5-2 hours although sometimes I get a longer break. I don't mind feeding her, but it all gets a bit overwhelming and I never know what kind of feeding we are going to have.  She also seems to hate her carseat, so I stress about taking her anywhere.

Other than the fussiness, she seems to be a very healthy baby and last time we saw the doctor she was gaining 2oz a day, which seems to be a lot. She is at least 11 lbs now and was 9lbs at birth.

Anyone have experience with a baby like this? I would love tips lol. I want to be loving and attentive to her needs, but when she cries for 3 hours straight you have to just turn off the "mommy alarm" in your mind so you don't go insane. I am feeling a bit guilty right now because I am trying to keep her happy in the swing for as long as I can. My husband went out for a few hours tonight and I am afraid to take her out of it and have her cry and cry and be alone with her until my husband comes home. That is not good... ;(

[Knitting Mama]

How is her weight gain, and her wet/dirty diapers? A lot of doctors are reluctant to medicate if the baby is gaining fine and eliminates well.

My daughter has silent reflux, which you describe your girl having a bit of-- I'd hear her burp up a lot but not actually spit up, she was swallowing it back down. You already know about wearing her to help her not spit up. The other things I recommend are never nursing or letting her sleep flat. Always keep her upper body propped up above her lower body. Reflux in babies is caused by an underdeveloped esophageal sphincter, and so you can use gravity to help keep milk down. Generally over the first 3-4 months it gets better on its own.

As far as dairy goes, does she have green or mucousy poops? That's a tell-tale sign of dairy intolerance. But even if she doesn't, it's definitely not going to hurt for you to see if it helps her reflux for you to eliminate it.

edit: Just noticed how I left off in the middle of a sentence. Lord, I'm tired, been reporting all day on the senseless and horrific shootings of a Congresswoman and others in my town. Also wanted to add that we did probiotics too, and while it didn't help with the reflux, it did help with just about everything else!

Edited by Knitting Mama - 1/8/11 at 8:38pm

[Calliope84]

Originally Posted by Cecilia's Mama 

How is her weight gain, and her wet/dirty diapers? A lot of doctors are reluctant to medicate if the baby is gaining fine and eliminates well.

My daughter has silent reflux, which you describe your girl having a bit of-- I'd hear her burp up a lot but not actually spit up, she was swallowing it back down. You already know about wearing her to help her not spit up. The other things I recommend are never nursing or letting her sleep flat. Always keep her upper body propped up above her lower body. Reflux in babies is caused by an underdeveloped esophageal sphincter, and so you can use gravity to help keep milk down. Generally ove

As far as dairy goes, does she have green or mucousy poops? That's a tell-tale sign of dairy intolerance. But even if she doesn't, it's definitely not going to hurt for you to see if it helps her reflux for you to eliminate it.

 Weight gain is really great... Like I wrote, she was gaining 2oz a day last time we checked. She is a chubber. ;D She has 3 or 4 (or more) poopy diapers a day and sometimes little small poops, too. Her poop looks fine to me.

I don't really want to have to medicate her which is why I want to try eliminating foods first. I was eating tons of milk and cheese every day and I stopped that 4 days ago. For the past 3 days, we have not had the 2-3 hour "colic" session. I don't know if it is just a coincidence, I guess we will see. She is still very fussy and unhappy, though. ;-\

I have a very holistic pediatrician (she is a MD with homeopathic remedies in the clinic store!) so I will talk to her at the next appt... but it isn't for 3 weeks. I should know then if the dairy free stuff has helped. I hate that she may be in pain, though. ;(

[umsami]

She sounds like all of my babies. :)

For me, eliminating dairy (all dairy) really helped a lot.

My pediatrician who I used to see also had a remedy store and told me to use probiotics, which I did.  I've used both the BioGaia drops as well as the Udo's Choice Infant ones.  Both worked well.  The BioGaia were easier for me to administer because they are oil based.  For the Udo's choice, I just made a paste with either water or breast milk and rubbed it in my baby's mouth.

Honestly, what really worked, was time.  Things got a lot better around 3-1/2 to 4 months for most of my babies, although #1 and #3 took until 6 months.

A swing was our savior.  Putting the baby in the swing calmed him/her much more so that even being worn.   

It got much easier to deal with each baby... coping because easier.  Just know that you might just need to let your baby cry in a safe place and go take a shower or bath or nap for your sanity.  That is the better choice sometimes.

[Calliope84]

Originally Posted by umsami 

She sounds like all of my babies. :)

For me, eliminating dairy (all dairy) really helped a lot.

My pediatrician who I used to see also had a remedy store and told me to use probiotics, which I did.  I've used both the BioGaia drops as well as the Udo's Choice Infant ones.  Both worked well.  The BioGaia were easier for me to administer because they are oil based.  For the Udo's choice, I just made a paste with either water or breast milk and rubbed it in my baby's mouth.

Honestly, what really worked, was time.  Things got a lot better around 3-1/2 to 4 months for most of my babies, although #1 and #3 took until 6 months.

A swing was our savior.  Putting the baby in the swing calmed him/her much more so that even being worn.   

It got much easier to deal with each baby... coping because easier.  Just know that you might just need to let your baby cry in a safe place and go take a shower or bath or nap for your sanity.  That is the better choice sometimes.

Thank you, I appreciate it!  My doctor has her on culturelle but I always forget to give it to her because I have to express some milk, mix in the packet, and then spoon feed it to her. I will look into the ones you mentioned. When you say all milk you mean stuff that just has traces, too, right? I've given up milk, cheese, etc., the obvious sources, but I was having some coffeemate in my coffee which has casein and I had some chocolate today which has some milk. I was planning to stop all of it, but if she doesn't react to very small amounts, then I can still enjoy chocolate once in awhile maybe.  I also gave up caffeine for a few days and it appeared to have absolutely no effect on the fussy behavior, so I went back to my daily cup because I really enjoy it. I feel better knowing someone else also found the swing to be a savior! I really wish I could calm her like the swing does, but if she is in pain then I could see how the steady repetitive movement might be more soothing. If she is fussy and I move her a little in a way she doesn't like, it can set her off, so even me rocking her doesn't do the same trick usually.

I definitely plan on walking away if I ever feel like I might just lose it.I know it is much better to let the baby cry in a safe place and walk away for a bit than to lose it.
 

[1stTimeMama4-4-10]

Our DD was similar to what you describe with a few differences - one of which is she hated the swing.  For the first three months of her life nothing would keep her happy for longer than 2-3 minutes.  The crib was never an option, the swing would only work for a couple of minutes, and swaddling only worked for a few weeks,  As the previous posters have said, time was the biggest factor for us.  DD was and is a very intense child - but she's so amazingly present for being such a small child that I am constantly reminded when I see my friends' babies that DD is different (in a good way!).

Things that helped us:

-Gripe water.  I don't know how helpful it really was, but it did seem to make DD happier after we gave it.  

-We swaddled for bed.  

-We bought and used some of the techniques in Happiest Baby on the Block (no cry it out or sleep training in that book).

-Babywearing helped A LOT. I know you said that it isn't helping you, but there are so so many types of carriers and so many different positions, I urge you to continue to look for one that works better for you.  When DD was tiny, we used the moby wrap and the maya wrap.  When she got a little bigger, we used (and still use) a mei-tai.  DH also used the Ergo when DD was little.  He could get her to sleep on him for 2 hours at a time, which was nothing short of a godsend at that time. 

-DD HATED her bucket carseat with such passion that we feared traveling for even 5 minutes. We bought a convertible carseat (TrueFit) when DD was about 10 weeks and it was night and day for us. She will fall asleep in her carseat now on most trips which she NEVER did in the bucket.

-Dr. Sears has a great book titled "Parenting the High Needs and Fussy Child" that I found to be very helpful. It had some advice that we used, but the most important thing was that it helped us to recognized that DD is normal, that we were not terrible parents, and that it will get better. 

I can't think of any more at the moment, but those were the biggies. What you describe could also be related to an overactive letdown and/or oversupply.  Kellymom is AMAZING resource for all things breastfeeding.  This is an article about overactive letdown.  http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/fast-letdown.html  There are some good tips in there for how to deal with letdown issues.  

Be thankful that the swing works!!!  Use it often and don't feel guilty. If she is safe and happy in it and you are able to have a few minutes to recover your sanity and coping skills, it is the very best place for your child at that time. Good luck, and I know it can feel incredibly isolating to have a fussy/high needs baby. You are not alone though. I hope that helps.

[yukookoo]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1kQ-7gREcM

[rainforest mama]

I just went through a very similar experience with my daughter.  She would cry for 3 - 7 hours a day.  She is now 3 months old and 'colic free'.  When she was 2 months old I eliminated all dairy, eggs, wheat, corn, fish, coffee and veggies from the brassica family (broccoli, kale).  She is so much happier now and as long as I avoid the offending foods, she no longer has 'colic'.   It can take days or even weeks to notice a difference, so hang in there!  I was able to re-introduce eggs and wheat with no symptoms.

To get through the colic episodes, we: used an upright baby carrier, swing, bouncy chair, lots of walking/singing/comforting, holding closely, bouncing in arms.  We used homeopathic remedies for relief of symptoms.  (She would normally fall asleep after one or two doses.)  I made a tea of fennel and chamomile and would give her a few drops once it cooled.

I found nursing upright in bed and holding her upright for a half-hour or so helped with reflux.  If I put her down sooner so would choke and gag and wake herself up.  I propped myself up on pillows in a semi-restful position, which helped.  If you can't sleep, being comfortable helps.  I tried to sleep whenever she slept.

My husband was working through this entire 'colic' period - 12-16 hour days.  I was alone most days and nights with my crying baby.  I asked for help from family and friends, who were happy to come over and give me a break during the day.  However her colic was worse at night.  When I was at home alone with my daughter, I found getting outside for a short walk or two really helpful.  Mostly she slept through the walks but occasionally she cried. 

We also co-slept and my daughter was super wiggly at night.  During the 'colic' period, she would have several greenish bowel movements through the night.  I now realize the wiggly times in bed were her leading up to a bowel movement.  We now do elimination communication and when she wiggles during the night we take her to her potty. 

I hope the elimination diet helps you.  Good luck.

[yukookoo]

o man i wrote a long post and lost it

basically going through this with ds now 5 weeks old and dd before.

ill make it quick cause ds needs me but this is what helps us

- make sure she doesnt have thrush or you (little even tiny white spots on gums, sore nipples for you)

-look at latch issues

- SLEEP if possible,

- i wrote about crying being OK, maybe just maybe maybe if you hold her and be ok with her crying, take deep breaths, talk to her in a calm voice she will cry for a few minutes and then pass out? ds does this and dd was diagnosed with silent reflux, took meds, grew out of it at around 18 mo i think, but looking back now i think maybe she was more overstimulated and overtired than anything else because i couldnt bare to hear her cry and i did all kidns of distraction type things to make her stop bouncing, singing, tv, music, swing, going out to stores because she cried less out etc. maybe if i just let her cry a few minutes without freaking out about it she would just fall asleep, not cio, crying IN YOUR ARMS, peacefully, if that makes sense. Sometimes i need to just cry too and i dont want to be distracted from crying, i want to cry and get it out while someone holds me and says there there...

probiotics

i am also doing no dairy maybe look at gluten in your diet too vegies also? basically elimination diet

ds sleeping in ergo at the moment and typing noise wakes him so....

[sssheri]

http://kellyraeroberts.blogspot.com/2010/09/colic-solved.html

An inspiring blogpost about living with a baby with "colic" with possibly a helpful solution for you. 

[Knitting Mama]

I totally forgot this earlier-- have you read Happiest Baby on the Block or watched the DVD? The 5 S's that are discussed in there helped immensely with my daughter's colic.

[Calliope84]

Originally Posted by 1stTimeMama4-4-10 

Our DD was similar to what you describe with a few differences - one of which is she hated the swing.  For the first three months of her life nothing would keep her happy for longer than 2-3 minutes.  The crib was never an option, the swing would only work for a couple of minutes, and swaddling only worked for a few weeks,  As the previous posters have said, time was the biggest factor for us.  DD was and is a very intense child - but she's so amazingly present for being such a small child that I am constantly reminded when I see my friends' babies that DD is different (in a good way!).

Things that helped us:

-Gripe water.  I don't know how helpful it really was, but it did seem to make DD happier after we gave it.  

-We swaddled for bed.  

-We bought and used some of the techniques in Happiest Baby on the Block (no cry it out or sleep training in that book).

-Babywearing helped A LOT. I know you said that it isn't helping you, but there are so so many types of carriers and so many different positions, I urge you to continue to look for one that works better for you.  When DD was tiny, we used the moby wrap and the maya wrap.  When she got a little bigger, we used (and still use) a mei-tai.  DH also used the Ergo when DD was little.  He could get her to sleep on him for 2 hours at a time, which was nothing short of a godsend at that time. 

-DD HATED her bucket carseat with such passion that we feared traveling for even 5 minutes. We bought a convertible carseat (TrueFit) when DD was about 10 weeks and it was night and day for us. She will fall asleep in her carseat now on most trips which she NEVER did in the bucket.

-Dr. Sears has a great book titled "Parenting the High Needs and Fussy Child" that I found to be very helpful. It had some advice that we used, but the most important thing was that it helped us to recognized that DD is normal, that we were not terrible parents, and that it will get better. 

I can't think of any more at the moment, but those were the biggies. What you describe could also be related to an overactive letdown and/or oversupply.  Kellymom is AMAZING resource for all things breastfeeding.  This is an article about overactive letdown.  http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/fast-letdown.html  There are some good tips in there for how to deal with letdown issues.  

Be thankful that the swing works!!!  Use it often and don't feel guilty. If she is safe and happy in it and you are able to have a few minutes to recover your sanity and coping skills, it is the very best place for your child at that time. Good luck, and I know it can feel incredibly isolating to have a fussy/high needs baby. You are not alone though. I hope that helps.

Well, I have been avoiding all obvious sources of milk for 4 days now and no screaming for the past 3 nights! But... I thought we had a problem with latch at the beginning (tongue always going to roof of mouth), then I realized it was my overactive letdown and oversupply that was causing issues. She seemed to get a better hold on the oversupply and by doing block feeding I got rid of some of it. Getting rid of obvious dairy has also coincidentally? coincided with my milk supply finally mellowing out. They said it would eventually and it seems it has. I have still been eating some things with milk or dairy in them. Some chocolate chips, caramel sauce in a soy latte, coffeemate, a roll made with some milk etc. so I haven't removed all sources of dairy just the obvious ones. I guess we will see if things keep getting better. The whole situation is kind of confused and I don't know what it causing what anymore.

I read it is supposed to take 2 to 3 weeks for her to respond to my reduction in dairy if she has an allergy, but she is sleeping- in the bassinet!!! - next to me right now and she fell asleep TWICE today in DH's arms in cradle position which we have never seen her do since we left the hospital after her birth.

Kellymom says some kids will do fine if you just get rid of obvious sources of dairy like cheese, milk, yogurt, etc., and still eat things that have a little whey or casein. Is it smart though to eat ANY dairy protein if my child is allergic? Should I avoid it all or eat a little if her symptoms seem to go away?

[Knitting Mama]

Most people I know who are doing a dairy elimination cut out all sources of dairy, even whey and casein. If they see it all making a difference, after about a month they slowly start to introduce things like casein to see if their baby can handle it.

Also keep in mind that some babies start out with more severe allergies, but as time goes on, their bodies become more able to handle it. A friend of mine's daughter was able to handle dairy in her mom's breastmilk by a year old but was still unable to eat any herself, for example.

[Calliope84]

Originally Posted by Cecilia's Mama 

Most people I know who are doing a dairy elimination cut out all sources of dairy, even whey and casein. If they see it all making a difference, after about a month they slowly start to introduce things like casein to see if their baby can handle it.

Also keep in mind that some babies start out with more severe allergies, but as time goes on, their bodies become more able to handle it. A friend of mine's daughter was able to handle dairy in her mom's breastmilk by a year old but was still unable to eat any herself, for example.

I am going to do that now. I was trying to take it slow so *I* could handle the vast change in my own diet. Everything I normally eat has dairy in it. I am really big on milk and cheese and chocolate and cheese flavored snacks, too. This is rough for me lol. I do however really believe it is a dairy allergy now. I (very stupidly) ate some cheese puff things last night (I thought, oh, these things don't even really have real cheese in them...) and my DD was up all night wiggling around, had 3 huge poopy diapers and began waking up with loud cries and this morning was desperately feeding again, spitting up a bunch, and not wanting to be on her back or in a lot of other positions. She is in the swing right now. She has basically gone back to what she was 5 days ago. No more dairy for me! I have to just think that this will help me stick to a much healthier diet. I just hope she isn't also allergic to soy...

[HonkyTonka]

Didn't read all the posts, but you might want to check out "overactive letdown" if she seems hungry but is fussy at the breast / refusing to nurse. Could also be a burp. The breastfeeding forum could offer some answers.

[umsami]

Some products to try to replace dairy in your life....

coconut milk and almond milk.  I really like the Silk brand of Almond milk and the Turtle Mountain? (I think) brand of coconut milk.  The coconut milk ice cream is divine as well. :) 

For replacing butter, Earth Balance works really well.

For cheese, cashew milk/nut milk cheese as well as soy are both pretty good.  Not exactly the same, but close.

All of these I can get at my regular grocery store.  Wal-Mart even carries Almond milk and Earth Balance.

Check the manufacturer websites for coupons. :)

[Summersquash]

We went through this and it was dairy for us, too.  It gets a LOT easier as time goes on.  DD and I are still avoiding dairy (I found that I feel so much better when off dairy products.  My skin and stomach issues are so much better.  We have not yet given DD any dairy because we still need medication to control her reflux and our first priority is to get her off the meds, then try dairy).

Daiya makes a decent coconut-based cheese.  And Whole Foods 365 brand of chocolate chips is dairy free and really tasty for when you need chocolate.  Often a dark chocolate will not have dairy in it - just look closely at the label.

Also, So Delicious has a line of coconut milk "ice cream" that is fantastic.  They have both ice cream bars and pint containers of ice cream. 

[Calliope84]

Originally Posted by Summersquash 

We went through this and it was dairy for us, too.  It gets a LOT easier as time goes on.  DD and I are still avoiding dairy (I found that I feel so much better when off dairy products.  My skin and stomach issues are so much better.  We have not yet given DD any dairy because we still need medication to control her reflux and our first priority is to get her off the meds, then try dairy).

Daiya makes a decent coconut-based cheese.  And Whole Foods 365 brand of chocolate chips is dairy free and really tasty for when you need chocolate.  Often a dark chocolate will not have dairy in it - just look closely at the label.

Also, So Delicious has a line of coconut milk "ice cream" that is fantastic.  They have both ice cream bars and pint containers of ice cream. 

Thank you! I can't wait to try some of that. I was vegetarian for awhile...then I was gluten-free for a long time to see if my health improved on it but it really didn't. I am hoping that becoming dairy free might help my health somewhat. I am sure I will start eating healthier because of it, anyway, and that alone will help.

I wonder if people really outgrow food allergies or if they just learn to tolerate it a bit better but those foods still cause inflammation every time they are eaten? I was thinking that there could be a chance I also was sensitive as a baby since DD has this problem now. I have sooo many allergies to other things but I've never tried to live without dairy lol.

[donutmolly]

Just wanted to reply because I have BTDT and it is really hard! 

It sounds like you're doing a great job -- just keep going and give yourself a break whenever you can.  My DD1 was colicky and just never happy as an infant.  We did determine she had a milk allergy and I eliminated absolutely anything with casein in it (my Dr. also recommended eliminating soy protein since it is similar and babies are often sensitive to both - it is even more difficult to eliminate imo, and I never did a great job with it....)  I would say that identifying the allergy helped, but she did not magically turn into a contented infant who slept normal lengths of time.  She was a lot of work! 

Don't feel guilty about using the swing to help you get some sleep, or having Dh take her out of the house so that you can get some relaxation time.  I'm a totally attached mama, but my sanity was very tested that first year with a fussy, non-sleeping baby and I needed more help than I asked for!

DD1 was also healthy and growing well, it took us until she was 6mo to determine the milk allergy when she ended up with some blood in her stool.  We did try reflux meds for awhile, but they didn't seem to make any difference, so we stopped after about 2 weeks.

Oh, and she also didn't respond to babywearing the way I thought she would... she was only happy if I was actively moving... so taking a walk was good, standing doing dishes did not cut it!  And we had to use an upright position -- I think and Ergo or Mei Tai would have been helpful, but even my ring sling worked well.  She loved an outward facing kangaroo carry as soon as she could hold up her head.  Taking her out of the house was also a life-saver.  She was always happier, and I felt like I could get a break even being with her -- we walked the mall almost everyday, I took her to every baby group and storytime available.  She is still a very social girl who loves to go out!

Oh yes, and at 5yo, my fussy, colicky baby is a dream child.  Lots of fun, sleeps great, sweet and friendly.  Still a little high-strung, and easily upset -- that's definitely part of her personality.  Sometimes it helps to keep the future in mind -- it is all worth it, and you will get through.

[Calliope84]

Thank you for all the help on here! I ate a lot of soy yesterday and no dairy and she was screaming last night and was wiggling all night, pooing and it didn't look too good... Lots of mucus. She has a rash on her back now, too. I thought it was baby acne but she has had this rash on her face, scalp and other areas for awhile now. I called my doctor and they think she has a dairy allergy and a soy allergy so I was told to cut all of it out. I wonder if I will feel better on this diet, too. My mom says she had to eat a really bland diet when she nursed me and I went on to develop very bad allergies, some eczema, an autoimmune disease, chronic sinusitis, appendicitis and cancer! I have low levels of many nutrients now and fatigue most of the time. The sinus issues are life long. I really wonder if babies actually grow out of these allergies or if they just become more "hidden"...We will see if I do better on this diet, too, and if I do I might consider keeping these foods out of my daughter's diet for a long time.