Guilt and Anxiety....I am failing at healing, but do not want to take meds while BFing...

[Toposlonoshlep]

Hi all,

I don't know if this is at all normal, or if I am developing some form of an anxiety disorder...

Lately, I found out that burning incense frequently during pregnancy and around a child increases their risk of cancer.

Since then, I have been unable to stop these huge waves of anxiety and guilt, because my DH and I burned large amounts of incense (not while using drugs, but for yoga/meditation/clearing energy) all throughout my pregnancy and well until last week when I read the studies.

It was mostly natural incense, sage, frankincense and myrrh, but it WAS quite smoky, as we burned it on charcoal tablets...

Now that I have read the studies on benzene and the PAHs released and the danger I have put my son in, my mind has been racing for 3 days with the "what ifs". I cannot live with the idea that I just didn't know and did something to hurt him. I am terrified of being the cause of any ailment or pain in him.

I just don't know how to forget and forgive myself and move forward. 

Please help me find some reassurance. 

Thank you ahead of time! This is all new to me and this feeling is horrible. I am in physical pain over it and am unable to truly enjoy time with DS due to this fear.

[a13xandra]

That sounds beyond the normal level of anxiety, to be sure.  I've been having abnormal anxieties, too.  You might want to try talking with a counselor about some coping strategies besides meds.  I'm talking with a therapist about it and increasing my exercise, and that seems to be improving my postpartum anxieties. 

[kittywitty]

You say that you do yoga and meditation? Are these not helping? There is a good book-Yoga For Anxiety I can recommend. And really, there are so many "safe" drugs you can take for anxiety during breastfeeding. I understand you not wanting to take them. I'm going through the same thing. I would look into counseling if it is available and affordable for you.

[Toposlonoshlep]

Thank you so much! Yes, they are helping, but I still struggle in the mornings and sometimes at night when I randomly wake up with a sense of fear that I have done something to hurt my child. During the day, I can meditate and exercise the pain away. I think I will look for a therapist, preferably one that is covered by insurance and won't prescribe meds. Or not right away, anyway. I will check out Yoga for Anxiety. Sounds just right! 
 

Originally Posted by kittywitty 

You say that you do yoga and meditation? Are these not helping? There is a good book-Yoga For Anxiety I can recommend. And really, there are so many "safe" drugs you can take for anxiety during breastfeeding. I understand you not wanting to take them. I'm going through the same thing. I would look into counseling if it is available and affordable for you.