Learning to Not Destroy Things Made By Other Kids

[not_telling]

My DS is about 2.5, loves building with blocks and Duplos, and, of course, loves knocking constructions down, kicking them down, hitting them down with a bat, etc.  The usual stuff  .  When grownups build with him, or when we build something on our own, we know he will usually Deconstruct it soon after it's been built.  He has no siblings and we usually only hang with other kids (inside someone's home where there's toys) once a week.

The other day we had two other toddlers over and each was making something with the blocks.  One made a tower and a zoo with his mom.  The other made a road and was moving cars along it.  DS didn't seem too interested in building something himself, but he did repeatedly mess up what the other kids had made...which, obviously, they were none too pleased about.  This got me to wondering when/how kids learn about not destroying what others have made (unless invited to do so).  Most kindergartners that I've taught seem to have this solidly in hand (though not all).  It seems like he might most easily learn this when he starts preschool next fall.  But, I wonder if we should start working on this with him at home - e.g. "please don't knock down mommy's tower.  I worked very hard on it and I want to keep it up for a while.  You can help me knock it down when it's time to clean up." 

[SpuglyRoo]

Originally Posted by not_telling 
"please don't knock down mommy's tower.  I worked very hard on it and I want to keep it up for a while.  You can help me knock it down when it's time to clean up." 

We kind of do something along these lines.  We told him that if he didn't build it he needs to ask the person building it if he can help them knock it down and that he has to wait for them to say yes (that second part is the hard part for him to remember).  We try to vary it, sometimes we will say yes, other times not yet, and other times just plain no, go build your own tower to knock over. Keep in mind that I'm not always sitting and building with him, and even when I do sit we don't always go over this kind of thing.

I think it helps a little bit, but at this age they still act before thinking most of the time.  I don't think you need to sit and work on this skill, per say, but some kids will like to play with him more if he is better about not destroying their work. 

[tzs]

rather than focusing on why he can't knock others' towers down, i might try redirecting him into building something himself that he can knock down. even if he's not into building, i've found that it only takes stacking a couple objects to attain that knock-it-down satisfaction. it takes time and alot of "no, that's not yours. let's make something that YOU can knock down." 

i think even giving him the option of waiting, or asking, or messing in any way with somebody else's creation is just too confusing at that age. for me it's always, "this is not yours, you can make yours to knock down." (and knocking down is just so fun!)