I am new to all this, but this seems a good place to start. I am dating a wonderful man who is a wonderful parent to a wonderful six year old boy. Man is on good terms with ex, they co-parent and are with son every other week. Biomom also seems to be very loving parent to boy. Man and I have dated about a year, and I have talked about living together, having kids, etc, but no changes yet. I want to be with this man and understand that means I need to develop a solid relationship with son. And now, while we're spending time, but before living together, and while child is young, seems so important to lay good groundwork. Advice on this, pointers, anyone been there?
I've read through these posts and got some good pointers, stuff I already intuited, like having to define my own unique relationship with boy. I am at times alternatingly charmed and frustrated by him. I have never been around kids a ton in a quasi parent capacity and admit I am having to quick overcome or at least well put aside my own hangups and insecurities about getting attention, love, etc. I am seeing how everything changes when there is a child involved. But I want to do it, I want to totally open my heart to this boy. It shouldn't matter that he already has great loving parents right? There is always room for more love? Any advice on how previously single childless women used to dating childless men so their own relationship always had priority, quick shifting into sudden quasi-parent role and doing something they've never done before- put child's needs first? I think single people can be/are inherently somewhat selfish- I know I have been! Without a child our lives are about ourselves, right? But I want to change, and feel I am, but would love advice and experiences from those who've been there. Being open-hearted to both the child and the man I love who loves his child so much, so enjoying the pure beauty of that, instead of indulging in feelings of neglect or whatever for not having love & attention lavished on me. there I said it.