Need help with irritable DS...

[Pariah]

Our son will be five at the end of the month. He is being very difficult lately...really bad attitude, talking back a lot, refusing to help pick up after himself, having screaming tantrums...I don't know what to do. I'm going to get out two GD books that I have to review today, since I took the day off of work. I've tried talking it out calmly, I've yelled, I've begged and nothing is working. This is causing tension on everyone else in the house. Help? :(

[pianojazzgirl]

This could be in part (or total) due to the age.  I remember that age of almost-5 to be one in which dd became much more volatile.  It's possible too that there's something else at play.  Are there any new stressors in his life - any big changes recently?  Also can you think of any triggers for this less-than-desirable behaviour?  You know... does it happen more in the evening when you're busy preparing dinner and not able to give as much attention, after a long day of preschool, when he's hungry, after he's eaten a certain kind of food, etc?  Try to think of any external causes that might be contributing.  Attacking the behaviour from that side can be really helpful sometimes.

If you can give some specific instances of him acting out and how you dealt with it that might be helpful for us to brainstorm ideas.

[Pariah]

I think the attention thing may be part of it. Like right now, I had to check work email and told him that I'd be back to play with him for a moment, and it caused a big issue where he's tugging on me, yelling, then pouting that he doesn't want to play with me. I cannot give him all of my attention 100% of the time.

[SistaTV]

My daughter is the same age and we are going thru the same thing... Its very difficult and I am trying my best to be paitient and calm. I'm pretty sure this is just a phase. I've been reading about it and it seems to be. I'm reinforcing the rules and not budging when she acts up but also giving lots of hugs and positive reinforcements when all is well. Its not easy but we will get thru!

[D_McG]

My son (4.5) gets like that sometimes.  We talk about feeling bad/angry/irritable and how it's normal but how we're responsible for our actions. Nobody gets to throw a fit here without taking responsibility for it.  An apology, some time alone (or a hug - whichever he thinks would help).  He also can tell me what we might be able to do to cheer him up.  

But in general I don't have a lot of tolerance for it.  I don't allow myself to inflict my moods on the house either.  

[Grace and Granola]

I'm finding that this is common for the age.  My son is about 5 1/2 and for three weeks straight he was a complete monster!  I thought I was going to lose it if this is how he was going to be forever.  I asked  a couple of friends with boys the same age and they were in the same boat.  I don't know what happened, but last Saturday, my son woke up and told me, "Mom, I think I'm getting back on track.  I just wasn't eating enough."  Ever since then, he's been back to his old self.  I don't really think it was the eating, but he declared that he was done with it, and he has been....for the most part ;)   I hope it's just a phase for you too!