head-butting

[JordanKX]

DS is 16 months and has recently gotten out of control with head-butting. Do your kids do this? Is a "normal" phase?

I've read all the posts on slapping and hitting, which he doesn't do. And I do the same things stated there, put him down; say "gentle", etc. But "gentle" doesn't seem to be the same correlation to head-butting, as it does with slapping. He's very gentle with rubbing my face and rubbing the cat (he hasn't really "hit" yet), but then WHAM! out of no where, will head-butt me with full-force.

He seems to do it first thing in the morning and right when I pick him up from daycare/grandparent-care. I haven't decided if it's a frustration thing, or more of just a way to be nice. Like his way of saying Hello! It's sad to first pick him up, he head-butts, and I immediately put him down. That's our first 2 seconds of seeing each other in the morning or when I pick him up (not a wonderful warm welcome from momma, you know?!) But I'm not sure what other tactic to take.

I mentioned it to his daycare and it doesn't seem to be something he does to his teachers or the other kids. But he will with grandparents when he's with them long enough. He's already given me a bloody nose. I've gotta say, I'm scared one of these times he's gonna knock one of my teeth out! So far, he hasn't done it in a way that he's hurt HIMSELF, so other than me putting him down immediately, he has no other real negative connotation to it.

Any ideas?

[plantnerd]

Ahhh, yes indeed.  My 13 month old started this around 11 months, and is just now really beginning to understand that it is uncool.  I know it seems evil to put him down seconds after picking him up, I'm convinced that's what you have to do.  I just plop him down and tell him "mommy doesn't like that, headbutting hurts, ouch" and walk off.  He of course whines and moans and hangs off my leg (toddlers, yep) but it has helped a ton.  Also, well, I started making it hurt him....when he goes in for the forehead to mommy's nose connection I'll quickly turn my head so he hits the top of my head rather than my face.  This hurts him rather than just just me (kid bloodied my lip a few times, uhuh, no more of that mess!) and I think helped to reinforce the "ouch! hurt" part for a little kid just learning these things.

He too did it as a greeting or play, and would cackle wildly while doing it.  So the trick really is to get the OUCH! message across.

[beebalmmama]

Oh yes!! I've never been hit in the nose or get so many bloody lips until I had children....especially a young toddler. My first ds did this a lot and I did what the pp said and said "Ouch, that hurts mama and would put him down". Ds2 (13 months) is now doing this a little too.