RN's who are not working?

[mags.bubble]

My kids are 20, 8, 6. My youngest in 1st grade this year. I thought I would be thrilled, but instead was left with mixed feelings of sadness and wonder about what I should do next? I received my RN when my youngest was 15mo and since have worked a mixture of part time then registry for the last 2 years (about 30-40hours a month at the hospital). However, I resigned this fall when my Mom's health worsened (she had been fighting cancer for 3 years) so my time has been spent taking care of her. She just passed away Dec 30th and now I sit wondering what now?

I don't have to work. In fact, my dh doesnt really want me to. Any other RN's SAH? Am I crazy not to at least work registry somewhere?

[major_mama11]

I'm sorry for your loss.

I'm an RN too, and I just work per diem at this point. I've done FT, then PRN, then PT, and now I'm back to per diem, as I really want my family to come before my work schedule.

I don't think you're crazy for not working registry... I would totally SAH if we could afford it.  It's still possible to get back into it down the road.... one of my coworkers was a sahm for 8 years, then took a refresher course and had two job offers, one of which was her dream job in L&D. So it doesn't have to be permanent.

I think whether to keep your foot in the door at work really depends on whether you see yourself working as a nurse when your kids are all grown and moved out. Personally, I get really burned out and stressed out at work sometimes. With all the cuts they're making to nursing, forcing us to somehow do more with less nurses but still somehow provide excellent pt care, even while they continue to pay huge amounts for murals and fancy new construction and overpaid magnet status consultants, I look forward to the day when I can say buh-bye now to hospital nursing! I would rather pour all my nurturung into my family.

We had a rather fiery dept meeting yesterday re: budget cuts, can you tell?  

[Peony]

I didn't work for almost 6 years as a paid RN. I volunteered and slowly worked towards a certification so I still would be marketable. I got offered a very part time job in my specialty a year ago and have been doing that. Some weeks I work nothing, other weeks maybe 8 hours, most of it is from home though. If this job had not of literally fallen into my lap then I still would be a SAHM, and I feel like I mostly still am. Nah, I don't think you are crazy, there are ways to get back into the door if need be. 

[mamaofthree]

i have worked off and on (mostly on and part time) for 16years that i have been an RN. this is the first time EVER that we are in a spot that i don't need to be working. it is weird, i am happy to not be working, but i keep thinking i should maybe get a per diem job soonish (i am due to have a baby any day now so at least another 6 months off). i am not sure why i feel this way though. dh thinks it is because i worked hard for this degree and worked for so many years and that most of the time i enjoy my jobs... i don't know. i guess i will see how i feel after this new little one comes along and see how i feel. lol

h

[geekgolightly]

Just because we have the RN behind our names doesn't mean we have to use it. There are lots of professional women who choose not to work. It felt weird for me for the first few weeks of not working (I am off work due to a complicated obstetric history and current PIH, but I don't think I will be going back) but now that I am getting a routine down, I think I'm plenty needed at home and don't see any reason to go back to dividing my time and energy between home and work.

[jackson'smama]

i am so sorry for your loss of your mom. 

i became a sahm four years into my nursing career as a public health nurse.  took two years off.  then, went prn at the hospital in the postpartum/nursery unit.  i now have three children with youngest being 4 mos, oldest 6 years.  i don't financially have to work.  i keep my job b/c a.  i LOVE it (hospital, co-workers, type of duties, patients, everything).  b. i DO see myself working as a nurse and/or IBCLC after my kids have left the nest and i don't know how hard it might be to get a job after not working for 20 years.  and c.  as a sahm who homeschools, i see this one day a week as my "break".  i want to be home as much as possible, but it is nice to get away for a few hours.  my dh is off 3 days/week and i usually work one shift per week but sometimes i work nothing.  i am prn and basically tell them when i want to work.  my dh is VERY happy that i sah.  he would be ok with me working more than i do if i wanted to.  we have an agreement on how we want to raise our children and educate our children though and that requires me being home with them most of the time.  i would not want to spend every day he had off working or trying to work nights or something and then take care of my children all day.  i am very fortunate to not have to work. 

why does your dh not want you to work?  how do you feel about that?  if YOU are happy sah, then that's what's important.  as pp said, just b/c you have RN behind your name doesn't mean you have to work as an RN.  there are lots of people who drop careers, switch careers, blend careers, etc...you need to find what makes you happiest and do it.  best of luck to you!

[mags.bubble]

Thank you all for responding and saying I am not crazy and thank you as well as for your condolances. Sometimes I feel quite selfish for even wondering or asking this type of question. I wouldn't want to sound like I am complaining. I am so aware & appreciative that I am fortunate to even have the choice. Many don't.

 

Originally Posted by major_mama11 

I'm sorry for your loss.

I'm an RN too, and I just work per diem at this point. I've done FT, then PRN, then PT, and now I'm back to per diem, as I really want my family to come before my work schedule.

I don't think you're crazy for not working registry... I would totally SAH if we could afford it.  It's still possible to get back into it down the road.... one of my coworkers was a sahm for 8 years, then took a refresher course and had two job offers, one of which was her dream job in L&D. So it doesn't have to be permanent.

I think whether to keep your foot in the door at work really depends on whether you see yourself working as a nurse when your kids are all grown and moved out. Personally, I get really burned out and stressed out at work sometimes. With all the cuts they're making to nursing, forcing us to somehow do more with less nurses but still somehow provide excellent pt care, even while they continue to pay huge amounts for murals and fancy new construction and overpaid magnet status consultants, I look forward to the day when I can say buh-bye now to hospital nursing! I would rather pour all my nurturung into my family.

We had a rather fiery dept meeting yesterday re: budget cuts, can you tell?  

Yes, I think we may have worked for the same hospital. Your question is a great one, I will need to think about that. Quite frankly, I have no idea what I want to do when my kids are out. Maybe incorporating my RN with yoga therapy? That would be cool! 

Originally Posted by Peony 

I didn't work for almost 6 years as a paid RN. I volunteered and slowly worked towards a certification so I still would be marketable. I got offered a very part time job in my specialty a year ago and have been doing that. Some weeks I work nothing, other weeks maybe 8 hours, most of it is from home though. If this job had not of literally fallen into my lap then I still would be a SAHM, and I feel like I mostly still am. Nah, I don't think you are crazy, there are ways to get back into the door if need be. 

That's great! I sort of had something fall into my lap last fall. My kids school nurse asked if I would be interested in subbing occasionally. I am signed on with 2 school districts currently and have subbed 1-2 days a month as a school nurse only working my kiddos school hours. I should realize that this still counts as working, but I still need to rid myself of the "hospital RN" idea.
 

Originally Posted by mamaofthree 

i have worked off and on (mostly on and part time) for 16years that i have been an RN. this is the first time EVER that we are in a spot that i don't need to be working. it is weird, i am happy to not be working, but i keep thinking i should maybe get a per diem job soonish (i am due to have a baby any day now so at least another 6 months off). i am not sure why i feel this way though. dh thinks it is because i worked hard for this degree and worked for so many years and that most of the time i enjoy my jobs... i don't know. i guess i will see how i feel after this new little one comes along and see how i feel. lol

h

I am not sure why I feel this way either. I have always wanted/planned to stay home, yet I can't seem get over that feeling of wasting a degree or the what if's of all of a sudden needing to work FT.
 

Originally Posted by geekgolightly 

Just because we have the RN behind our names doesn't mean we have to use it. There are lots of professional women who choose not to work. It felt weird for me for the first few weeks of not working (I am off work due to a complicated obstetric history and current PIH, but I don't think I will be going back) but now that I am getting a routine down, I think I'm plenty needed at home and don't see any reason to go back to dividing my time and energy between home and work.

Thank you for your first sentence! See you are so right! I just need to keep repeating that to myself. Ofcourse, I plan to keep my license, CPR, ACLS. Doesn't mean I have to work. I feel needed at home as well. Wishing you well.
 

Originally Posted by jackson'smama 

i am so sorry for your loss of your mom. 

i became a sahm four years into my nursing career as a public health nurse.  took two years off.  then, went prn at the hospital in the postpartum/nursery unit.  i now have three children with youngest being 4 mos, oldest 6 years.  i don't financially have to work.  i keep my job b/c a.  i LOVE it (hospital, co-workers, type of duties, patients, everything).  b. i DO see myself working as a nurse and/or IBCLC after my kids have left the nest and i don't know how hard it might be to get a job after not working for 20 years.  and c.  as a sahm who homeschools, i see this one day a week as my "break".  i want to be home as much as possible, but it is nice to get away for a few hours.  my dh is off 3 days/week and i usually work one shift per week but sometimes i work nothing.  i am prn and basically tell them when i want to work.  my dh is VERY happy that i sah.  he would be ok with me working more than i do if i wanted to.  we have an agreement on how we want to raise our children and educate our children though and that requires me being home with them most of the time.  i would not want to spend every day he had off working or trying to work nights or something and then take care of my children all day.  i am very fortunate to not have to work. 

why does your dh not want you to work?  how do you feel about that?  if YOU are happy sah, then that's what's important.  as pp said, just b/c you have RN behind your name doesn't mean you have to work as an RN.  there are lots of people who drop careers, switch careers, blend careers, etc...you need to find what makes you happiest and do it.  best of luck to you!

See, I didnt love it. So glad that you do. If I did, I know my dh would support my working. When I say my dh doesn't want me to work it is because he has  high stress sales job and he & I feel it is a good balance if I stay home.  

Edited by mags.bubble - 1/13/11 at 9:32am

[mags.bubble]

Wanted to share one more thing:

This morning while I lay in bed thinking about all the things I would like to accomplish today and prioritizing what is important, my ds6 (who had crawled in with me in the middle of the night) rolled over next to me. He was burning up, had a 103 fever at 6am. Needless to say, I immediately changed my line of thinking and mentally rescheduled everything. I didn't have to worry about calling in or the other stresses that come along with leaving the house to work. As I read your responses and typed mine, I am cuddling next to him in bed because all he really wants is me near him. Sometimes the answers are right in front of you, YKWIM?

I do like being an RN and am proud of the knowledge I hold, but I love being a SAHM

[geekgolightly]

I hope your son feels better soon!

I'm proud of the work I've done as well, and all I have learned and been able to pass on, and I know I will miss being the expert fancy pants critical care RN, but I don't think I will ever miss it enough to go back to the stress of working those sorts of floors.

If I do work again, it will be as a sub school nurse or a WIC/public health nurse etc etc. Something with 9-5 hours and part time.

[Peony]

Originally Posted by geekgolightly 

If I do work again, it will be as a sub school nurse or a WIC/public health nurse etc etc. Something with 9-5 hours and part time.

LOL, I work for WIC now, I'm an RN/IBCLC. It's a job. WIC is so very different then what I've done previously with breastfeeding support, I am still getting used to what I would tell a breastfeeding mom outside of WIC, and what I have to tell WIC moms. They are not big on delaying solids, stuff like that. But it is very part time, I mostly do phone support for them with a office cell from my house, with some home visits and clinic hours thrown in so it works for my life now. I have no interest working as a hospital IBCLC at this stage in my life, and would certainly choose completely being a SAHM over doing that. 

[carolinagirl1]

I'm an RN and haven't worked for the past year. I worked per diem at a hospital where I could work 4,6,8, or 12 hour shifts until my first daughter was 2 1/2. It was about 1 hour away and so when my 2nd daughter was born, I went to work at a smaller hospital closer to home, but it was strictly 12 hour shifts. I would only work on weekends or nights (and I am not a night person so I would spend 2 days trying to recover) and it was really interfering with our family life. My husband can support our family well so that I don't have to work, so I finally just gave up working in the hospital. It was such a hard decision, but it was also a relief just to give myself permission to let it go for now. For about a year after that I volunteered a couple of mornings a month at a free clinic and I know I could always go back and do that. I sometimes fear that I will lose skills or have a hard time getting rehired, but I try not to worry about it because I love being available for my family and not having the commitment of work. Plus, who knows what the future will bring. I will cross that bridge when I get to it. I figure if worst came to worst, I could take a refresher course and work med/surg if I had to, but for now I will keep my license current with CEUs.

[hopefulfaith]

I'm an RN/SAHM who isn't working as an RN right now.  I started at the local hospital two years ago and told the manager I would LOVE to work a few weekends a month for her (weekends = my dh is home with the kids.  no family nearby for childcare).  I did that for almost 8 months, when she decided she didn't need a weekends-only nurse and wanted me to start during the week.  This didn't work, so we amicably parted ways.

I still wanted to get out of the house a bit and did want to stay a little current in my field (ER), so I volunteer on weekends with my local EMS agency (I have an EMT license as well).  I love the "other side of the bed", being in the field and I love being able to practice a facet of emergency medicine on the side, part-time...on my own terms.

When the kids are a little older, I can totally see working more -- but right now, I haven't "been a nurse" for awhile.  :)

[tallulahma]

I quit working when my oldest turned two.

As a pp said, I do definitely miss being the fancy pants cardiac ICU nurse. But I have ZERO desire to take on that stress and intensity. I really enjoy vein home more than I enjoyed nursing.

I think if I get over being home, I will go back to school for something completely different. I look at my RN period as part of my early 20s. I want to grow and evolve into something that speaks to me on a different level.

[sdm1024]

I'm an RN and only one two days per month. It was scary not to work at first, but it will only be a year and half before my youngest is in preschool and I'll prob go back more regularly then.

I was and sometimes am still worried that I my career will stall, but I at this point in the states there are so many different things to do as a nurse that I'm sure I'll find somewhere to advance and excel.

A couple of years ago, I met a nurse who hadn't worked in 15 years and the hospital put her on a refresher course and gave her a job on a medsurg floor.