From anxiously disorganized to kinda, sorta, actually... clean! How I've been changing my...

[cyclamen]

I have posted on here before about how I was always the hopelessly disorganized kid who was constantly stressed out and never knew where anything was.  I mean, just downright gross at times.  There's still some of that in me, but I've been changing my perspective on myself, letting go of the labels.  I read somewhere that it would help me to think of organization as a skill I can practice and learn, and become better at without having to do it perfectly.  As I learn more, I think of more ways I can help myself function better in life, at work, and as a parent.  I've been working on spatial organization and time management lately.  And I've been learning to stop trying to cram so much in - both stuff and tasks.

Recently, I decided that if I wanted a radical change in our family's environment, I was the one holding us back. So I'd have to make a radical change in myself.

So for the past four months, I've been working on it. Cleaning stuff out, donating, trashing. Saying good bye to stuff I didn't really use. Organizing papers I was afraid to look at. Getting into a laundry routine. Learning to pick up after myself. DP began putting his dirty clothes in the basket instead of leaving them on the floor where ever he took them off. Taking his dishes to the sink. He hung up his instruments and organized his cables. He threw out clothes that didn't fit him and we agreed to get him some stuff that would. We both found places for everything. I began doing dishes right away instead of letting them build up. I got rid of lots of dishes so I didn't have to wash so many. He hung up curtain rods so I could hang up curtains. I should have subtitled this, "A love story." We've been inspiring each other to keep stuff neat, building new habits, and decreasing our tolerance for mess.

In the process of all this, I also got rid of the idea that picking stuff up or putting stuff away was a waste of my time because I was just going to mess it up again or get it out again. I replaced it with a new idea: that picking up after myself shows respect for myself, my environment, and my family. Putting away my tools and materials shows respect for my work and my craft. Being mindful and careful in everything I do elevates even my everyday work to art. I started to accept that I'm not going to be able to do every cool thing I want to do, and that I do need to just pick a few things and focus, and I will be happier finishing something, that doing multiple things and never finishing them.

Well, a few nights ago, I tackled the piles on the kitchen table and around my workspace. And they're gone. I have a load of stuff waiting to go to goodwill/a clothing swap this week. And then they're gone. All the piles are gone.

Now that everything has a place, picking up is so easy for anyone to do.  We can decorate a little - hang up some art, get a houseplant.

I think we could trim down just a tiny little more - I think that Crayfish's idea that storage should only be 70% full for ideal usability and I think that's true for us.

But I just wanted to jump for joy today when I woke up and walked out into our living room and saw that it was "a mess" because DD had pulled some fabric out of a basket and put it on the floor. That was our mess! It was cleaner than our clean two months ago, where everything was swept and picked up and there were still piles and piles of fabric, papers, books, and god knows what.

I know where all my materials are when I want to create something. I don't hang on to every little thing because I "might be able to use it" - I let a lot of that go so that it could find someone else who would use it, instead of languishing in a box in my house because I thought it had potential.

So now comes the hard part, or maybe it'll be the easy part: maintaining all our new habits and refraining from bringing more stuff into the house.

[pammysue]

Thank you an inspirational post. 

[Ellien C]

WOW! That's really inspirational. Thank you so much for sharing. It gives me hope.  I posted what my house actually looks like in some other threads and I'm curious if you really approached what we look like. We have a snow day today and I'm really losing it with my 7 yo budding hoarder. She won't throw away anything  - including tags, garbage, etc. We are drowning here. 

[aratiaw]

That's awesome! Pretty much exactly the change that needs to happen at my house.

[samstress]

wow, good for you!

i'm definitely less stressed when things are in their place.  problem is, things get out of place so quickly.

you mention so many great ideas, some of which i've been practicing as of late.  the combination of the new year and baby #2 coming in may has inspired me to get rid of all the stuff we don't need and get organized.

one thing you mention that i really need to do is to decorate more.  i've always been the type that never planned on staying anywhere permanently so would never paint, hang things on the walls, get nice window fixtures, etc.  we've been in our current house for two years (and just signed another two-year lease) and would love to make this home more homey.  definitely something i need to work on.

thanks for this post.  truly inspirational.

[K'sMama]

Good for you!

[*bejeweled*]

Wow. Awesome.

[Lisoula]

Awesome!!!!  Hoping some of this rubs off onto me :)

[clutterwarrior]

Wow...good for you!

I am in a similar boat, in the sense that a year ago I would have felt it's all too hard.

I still have a long way to go, but now at least I feel that it is achievable and not impossible!

I realised recently how far I have come when my MIL drops in unexpectedly (which she does a lot ) and instead of cringing I feel OK about how things look.

[journeymom]

Great thread!

I read somewhere that it would help me to think of organization as a skill I can practice and learn, and become better at without having to do it perfectly.

So true, and this is something I'm very slowly learning. 

[cyclamen]

Thanks guys!   Clutterwarrior, that's one of the best feelings - that if someone drops in, it's no big deal.

I agree, samstress,  I htink trying to make a place homey goes a long way.  We are the same way - moving alot, and never wanting to set up home.  But it's time to.  I think some house plants will look really nice.

EileenC, I saw the pictures of your house.  I actually thought it looked pretty nice, if full, if that gives you any idea of the standards I am working with.  (To compare, I recently visited my dad and in his office he had a GIANT pile of Mountain Dew cans... like waist high.) Our place had less stuff by virtue of being smaller, but had the same feeling of "fullness" because of all of the piles of stuff sitting out everywhere.  So I'd say that the proportion of stuff to space was the same if not worse in our place.  Now that we have cleared out the clutter, it's very evident that our place is very utilitarian and and almost completely undecorated.  Which I hope to change. 

My DP also had a lot of clutter before we moved, but when he saw me throwing my stuff out, he joined in.  It's like once he realized that I was serious about changing myself and taking responsibility for my mess, he was willing to deal with his.  At one point, he had about fifty worn out tshirts that I was constantly washing because they were always in a pile on the floor.  I packed up 40 of them and put them in a box out of the way so I wouldn't have to wash them.  I told him what I was doing, and that I would not ask him to get rid of them because he did not want to throw them away.  Well, last week after I did my last big clean, I asked him what he wanted me to do with them, and he was like, "Those don't fit me.  Let's just get rid of them."

Edited by cyclamen - 1/12/11 at 4:01pm

[Ellien C]

Thank you SO much for posting. We do have a good-sized house and it's full. And DH and I are on the older side of things. I only posted a few rooms, but they are typical. Basement is FULL-UP! It's good to know you were kind of working on the same relative scale. I decided that I had plenty of my OWN junk to deal with and I wouldn't worry about DH until I had "cleaned my own house" so to speak. I am hoping he comes along though. He's actually better at organizing them me and does a lot around the house. But he's way more the keeper and 10 years older so he just has a lot more stuff. And DD is totally taking after him!