If you had a UP, did you ever get anxious?

[minkajane]

Even though I was planning a UC with DS (ended up with a C/S) I went to regular OB appointments. This time I'm doing a UP. Even though at the appointments all they did was weigh me, measure my uterus, and check DS's heartbeat, I still find myself anxious that something's going on. I've checked my BP regularly, baby's moving all over the place, uterus is at a good height, etc. I haven't had any reason to worry but I keep worrying anyway. I'm not at all worried about the birth itself or what we'll do afterwards or anything, it's just pregnancy that worries me.

I've had two main fears - the first one is because I've had zero appetite the whole pregnancy and I'm TINY for being 26 weeks (my fundus is just above my navel though, which is about right). I've only gained about 7-8 pounds. I worry that the baby's going to be too small. DS was only 6lb8oz. The other worry is that I'll go into labor early, especially that my water will break early. DS was officially 37w1d, but my cycles run long and he was probably closer to 36w. Since subsequent pregnancies are usually shorter, if I went into labor earlier than with DS, I'd go to the hospital.

I haven't had any contractions or any other signs that I'd be going into labor early and I'm working on increasing my intake of calories and protein with protein shakes and frequent snacks, so I know my fears are pretty unfounded. And going to see an OB or midwife at this point wouldn't give me any information I don't already have, so that won't make me feel any better. I also know that I'm a very anxious person (I have generalized anxiety disorder) so worrying is normal for me. But I don't want to spend this whole pregnancy a worried mess. Probably has a lot to do with the fact that I'll probably not be able to get pregnant again, so this is my last chance and I don't want to have another C-section.

Any tips on reducing worries and anxiety with a UP?

[lightinmyhands]

what about a u/s just to peek in and alleviate a little worries?  I was kind of worried until I heard the heartbeat once and got a peek inside towards the end to be sure of placenta's location, no cord around neck, proper weight and good amount of fluid.  While I don't think the U/S was necessary, it really helped me to have it.  I'm having another up this time around and plan on having an u/s somewhere in my 8th month. 

[Mamatoabunch]

I have done UP 6 times now. Each time I have had worries, concerns or anxiety about something at some point, usually short lived. What I come back to is virtually all women have worries, concerns or anxiety about some aspect of their pregnancy at some point. Often prenatal care obtained by outside sources is never a virtual guarantee of anything. I have been that route my first pregnancy. My body is wonderfully made and has birthed 8 children at home w/ ease. I will put my trust in that and my faith in God. If some issue presented itself as more than I feel is right or of concern I always have the choice to seek out another opinion.

What specific worry do you have? Usually if I worry about something I research it to help me understand and that usually alleviates my concern or helps to me better understand to adequately deal w/ it.

[LadyJennifer]

I'm 8 weeks along and planning a UC. I want a UP as well but my worry is, what if I have to transfer during labor and baby and I are treated badly because I have no prenatal care on record? Has anyone dealt with this fear?

[Mamatoabunch]

Originally Posted by LadyJennifer 

I'm 8 weeks along and planning a UC. I want a UP as well but my worry is, what if I have to transfer during labor and baby and I are treated badly because I have no prenatal care on record? Has anyone dealt with this fear?

I keep my own prenatal record that I plan to bring along if a transfer becomes necessary. 7UC, 6UP's, I am in my 7th UP and that has never happened.

[LadyJennifer]

Thanks mamatoabunch! I was thinking of doing that. What all records to you keep/what testing do you do? Also what do you do to get the birth cert?

[Mamatoabunch]

Originally Posted by LadyJennifer 

Thanks mamatoabunch! I was thinking of doing that. What all records to you keep/what testing do you do? Also what do you do to get the birth cert?

I use the forms in Heart and Hands. I don't test for anything, but listen to baby's bp, measure fundus after 20 weeks, my weight, date of next checkup. I also include what supplements I am taking and fill out the first page of my general info and previous pregnancy info. In NM to get birth cert you must submit some info to receive the application. Proof of pregnancy, I fill this out myself, I use my prenatal record also, proof of residency, proof child exist, we use the baptismal certificate, letter certifying dh witnessed the birth. They mail that application, you fill out, return w/ $10 and receive a birth certificate.

[AJandElijahsmommy]

"I use the forms in Heart and Hands."

can you provide a link for this? i would like to see the forms, I am doing UP too and have made my own charts but would like to compare them. thanks!

[AJandElijahsmommy]

Originally Posted by LadyJennifer 

I'm 8 weeks along and planning a UC. I want a UP as well but my worry is, what if I have to transfer during labor and baby and I are treated badly because I have no prenatal care on record? Has anyone dealt with this fear?

I am 9 weeks pg planning my second UC and this is my first UP. With my first Ds I had a hospital birth with a certified nurse midwife and had my prenatal care with her too. MISTAKE! Sadly, hospital midwives have bought into the system.  With my second Ds, I went to a few prenatal appointments with an OB and ditched her the last trimester. With this baby I have not seen anyone at all and do not plan to. I may go get a pregnancy test from a doc just for birthcertificate records. But I plan to do my own prenatal care. I fear the same thing you do even though I am keeping records, I sometimes imagine the doctors throwing all my hard record keeping on the floor if I have to transfer. lol. But I am determined to have my birth the way I want it and the way I believe it should be done. And in my experience, I am gonna be treated badly at a hospital no matter what. So if I do have to transfer, God forbid, I'll just have to suck it up, be tough, and protect myself and my child. peace upon you on your new adventure. :) 

[AJandElijahsmommy]

Originally Posted by AJandElijahsmommy

"Sadly, hospital midwives have bought into the system."

Let me recant that statement because it seems a bit unfair, In many cases it is true, but overall I think its more that their hands are TIED by the system.

[Mamatoabunch]

Originally Posted by AJandElijahsmommy 

"I use the forms in Heart and Hands."

can you provide a link for this? i would like to see the forms, I am doing UP too and have made my own charts but would like to compare them. thanks!

http://www.amazon.com/Hearts-Hands-Midwifes-Guide-Pregnancy/dp/0890878382

[minkajane]

Little update - my friend just had her baby last week at 29 weeks, which doesn't help my nerves! Baby is doing very well, thankfully.

I'm feeling a bit better every day that I continue to have no problems. I guess a lot of it has to do with the fact that DS was a planned UC and ended up in a coerced C/S where a LOT happened to both of us that I did not want to happen (and some that I did not even consent to!). I don't want that to happen again - I want to remember this kid's birth, for one thing! DS's birthday is just a haze. I remember bits and pieces, but that's it.

I haven't been doing formal records or anything, but I've been checking my weight and blood pressure regularly, I've checked my urine a couple of times, and I'm eating pretty well (though my weight gain is low, I need to pack on the pounds). I figure if I need to transfer, I'm going to get grief either way and they'll probably ignore any records I do for myself anyway, so I'm not going to bother.

[ElizabethE]

Originally Posted by AJandElijahsmommy 

Originally Posted by AJandElijahsmommy

"Sadly, hospital midwives have bought into the system."

Let me recant that statement because it seems a bit unfair, In many cases it is true, but overall I think its more that their hands are TIED by the system.

No, I thought that was fair. Even if it perhaps doesn't apply to everyone, it's still very true in many cases. Hands being tied I guess depends on the exact scenario, though I can see in the controlled environment of the hospital that being more true than usual.

[Tumble Bumbles]

I'm so sorry about your experience OP (with you ds). I can imagine that would do a number on your confidence and of course, the trauma involved of an unplanned c-section etc.

 I'm embarking on my own UP as well soon, as I am going to let my midwife "go". We are planning a UC, and we simply do not have the money to continue care, pay the global fee, and have an "oops". Besides,  all she does at the appointments is check my BP, urine dip (I do this myself actually in her ladies' room), weigh me, and listen to babe with doppler. I can do all that at home, except the doppler -- but I don't care to use one anyway now reading a lot about how it's not safe. Baby's moving a lot so I'm not worried in that regard.

However, I hear you, I have the same concerns. Primarily about a transfer situation. I am not anticipating one at all, I am going by faith 100% but at the same time, it's a consideration. I just have to trust that in the unlikely event of a transfer I'll have a strong advocate in my husband and pray that God watches over me the whole time regardless of what happens (and I know He will). I can't let fears/what-ifs etc determine my course of action. I am planning on keeping records though, even if they are disregarded. It helps me feel better knowing I can document and prove I had the same level of care I would have received at a midwife's office. I will be getting my records when I leave, so I will have a model to work with.

[LadyJennifer]

Originally Posted by AJandElijahsmommy 

I am 9 weeks pg planning my second UC and this is my first UP. With my first Ds I had a hospital birth with a certified nurse midwife and had my prenatal care with her too. MISTAKE! Sadly, hospital midwives have bought into the system.  With my second Ds, I went to a few prenatal appointments with an OB and ditched her the last trimester. With this baby I have not seen anyone at all and do not plan to. I may go get a pregnancy test from a doc just for birthcertificate records. But I plan to do my own prenatal care. I fear the same thing you do even though I am keeping records, I sometimes imagine the doctors throwing all my hard record keeping on the floor if I have to transfer. lol. But I am determined to have my birth the way I want it and the way I believe it should be done. And in my experience, I am gonna be treated badly at a hospital no matter what. So if I do have to transfer, God forbid, I'll just have to suck it up, be tough, and protect myself and my child. peace upon you on your new adventure.  

My thoughts were, if I go to regular (hospital) midwife visits, then if I had to transfer they wouldn't know I was transferring, they would think I was just coming in in labor (which would get better treatment because I've seen/heard how they treat ucers and it's not good, although it could be worse I guess).
I had a dream though that I went in in labor (no apparent emergency) and was treated badly and violated. It was horrible. Maybe God's trying to tell me to stay away.

[lightinmyhands]

If there is a need for transfer, imo, staying informed and remaining confident that you have chosen what is best for you and your family will help deal with the docs you encounter regardless of prenatal records.  They may have a tendency to be demeaning and rude about things, but have someone to advocate for you and stick to your guns.  You are ultimately paying them for a service, they are service providers...not jail wardens, police officers or some other fascist government official (as of yet).  It is your body, your baby and so far you have the right to birth as you please.  And in the event of an emergency, thank goddess doctors and hospitals exist, but they have no right to treat people poorly just because they don't worship them as the gods they think they are.  I'm pretty headstrong though, and pretty intuitive.  So I felt really good about my UP, didn't do any checking of my own with the exception of an ultrasound in the last month because I had passed a blood clot that worried me.  No urine dips, no step b test, no doppler, no nothing.  I wound up transferring to deliver a placenta and they were rude (as I obviously only deemed them worthy of delivering the afterbirth) but I was headstrong and confident and was able to deal with the things they felt they needed to say and resist all of the interventions they tried to push on me (IV, pitocin).  Good luck mamas! Remember, mostly...birth works :)  bodies work to birth babies.

[jshannyn519]

Originally Posted by minkajane 

I've had two main fears - the first one is because I've had zero appetite the whole pregnancy and I'm TINY for being 26 weeks (my fundus is just above my navel though, which is about right). I've only gained about 7-8 pounds. I worry that the baby's going to be too small. DS was only 6lb8oz. The other worry is that I'll go into labor early, especially that my water will break early. DS was officially 37w1d, but my cycles run long and he was probably closer to 36w. Since subsequent pregnancies are usually shorter, if I went into labor earlier than with DS, I'd go to the hospital.

I typically lose anywhere from 20-35 lbs during my pregnancies. I gain some weight back, but never more than 5 lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight. All 3 of my babies have been over 7lbs and were totally healthy (and still are!). I'll be 21 weeks on Wednesday and I don't even really look pregnant. I look like I ate too much lunch, but not pregnant. My 2nd birth was actually over a week later than my first birth. My son (baby #1) was a natural labor at 39 weeks and my daughter (baby #2) was a natural labor at 40w1d. My 3rd baby ended up being a c/s at 39w4d, but I'm sure that I would have gone to at least 40w, if not 41w, with her.

All this is to say that you, your body, and your baby are all totally within the range of normal and I really don't feel that you have anything to be concerned about. I'm planning a UBAC with this baby and I also have concerns and fears. My plan of action has been to think about specifically what it is that I am concerned about, and then to educate myself about that item. MDC has been an amazing resource for me, as have my midwifery books and even some of my nursing school textbooks.
 

You always have the option of going to the hospital if you feel that is what you need. I think that sometimes we get into this mindset of "I'm having a birth center birth" or a home birth, or a UC, or whatever, and we tend to feel that all other options are now closed to us. But you are able to go to a hospital if you want to or need to. Even after baby is born, you still have that option.

Hugs mama!