proper sharing etiquitte...(happy update, post 16)

[ellemenope]

I am dealing with an almost 2 year old who likes to steal and taunt and really knows how to push everyone's buttons and a just turned 2.5 year old who has become resentful of her cousin and obsessive about establishing ownership of her possessions.  Both kids are driving us crazy when they get together, which is often, and that is just how it is going to be. This is family.

I feel like we messed up somewhere.  We have been trying to referee and stressing the "SH" word, but the situation has completely snowballed.  It is out of control. I feel like we are always asking one child to share and at the same time telling the other "she had that first." or "that is hers." or "wait your turn."  I am so sick of the one constantly yanking toys out of the other's hands and super super sick of the other not wanting to share ANYTHING with her cousin anymore. 

I am also worried that my dear darling little niece has permanently traumatized my little girl.  DD has become kind of funny-odd about how she views the world.   She lives in constant worriment of her cousin taking something from her even when we have gone back home, and she needs constant reassurance that her cousin cannot have whatever she is holding...EVER.  She told me, "mommy, I am just worried about my [toy].  I don't want [DC] to take it. Can you put it up high where [cousin] can't reach?"  She is not even over here right now!  Without really realizing it, I have been going throughout my day preemptively telling her not to worry about her cousin.  If she is given something she must hear from me that cousin cannot have it.  If we are going somewhere she must hear me say that cousin is not coming. (And, she prefers to hear that cousin is not ALLOWED to come.  So, that might be something else, too.)

It has gotten to the point that when they are together I have decided to put all toys up and put on music, because they can't fight over dancing right?  I so wish I had two high chairs so I can strap them both in and give them crafts.  I actually might invest in a second high chair for my 2.5 year old who rarely uses the one we have now!

Bottom line, I feel so unsure about the proper sharing etiquette.  Please, someone post their rules.  I am sure this has been hashed, but can we do it again? I need to feel more confident about my calls out there on the battlefield.

Like...

Yanking a toy out of anther's hands is never appropriate, right?

Clear ownership does not trump who picked it up first, right? 

An example:  DD might bring over one thing for comfort (something we are trying to curb, but DD has to bring something everywhere...)  and DN always goes for it and yanks it out of her hands.  I know that is not right.  But, what do we do when she finds it on the floor and DD says "No, that is mine, [cousin]."  DD is right, and I feel really bad, especially because DN literally waves it in front of her face the whole time it is in her possession.  She will even pretend to give it to her and psych her out!   But, I want DD to share, and I hate yanking it out of DN's hands.  BTW no matter how hard we try DN won't just give it over.  We have really had to yank it out of her hands.  That is NOT the behavior we want to model, but...

What do you do in that situation?

I have to admit we have been yanking DD's special toy out of her cousin's hands lately.  I feel so bad.

I have this feeling that i have this all wrong.  Help me!  TIA.

[dancingflower]

I would think that it's not so much about the proper sharing etiquette but about what is developmentally appropriate. What can we expect them to understand about sharing? What behavior can we expect of them towards sharing?

My opinion is completely theoretical and ideological...Haven't been there haven't done that.

I remember from my childhood, an example of a bad player was the kid who thought he would dictate the rules of the game because he owned the ball. Or when he started to loose, he had to finish the game, go home to take the ball away. When one brings a toy to the play, it's everybody's toy. Then, it's from a neutral ground that the rules of sharing should be defined. Sharing and property are ultimatelly two opposing concepts. If there can be nuance between the two and if there is etiquette to regulate them, I don't think toddlers can deal with it. It's too advanced.

With that said, I think it may be too early for the girls to understand the concept of private property. The toys are just materializing a possibly natural struggle to reassert themselves.

I think your idea of introducing activities where there are no toys involved is great. Or activities with art, for example, where there are 2 available purple brushes and 2 available red brushes and 2 ... Avoiding the struggle for the object may give the girls an opportunity to like each other's company again before they can try sharing again. Sharing takes trust.

I also want to hear what other mamas have to say about what is the usual etiquette on sharing. My boy is 11mo and showing to be pretty social. I want him to have a great time with peers so I wanna know how to guide him on sharing.

[serenbat]

  She lives in constant worriment of her cousin taking something from her even when we have gone back home, and she needs constant reassurance that her cousin cannot have whatever she is holding...EVER.  She told me, "mommy, I am just worried about my [toy].  I don't want [DC] to take it. Can you put it up high where [cousin] can't reach?"  She is not even over here right now!  

I would strictly limit their time together for awhile, I would not put my child under this pressure- that is way too much stress for a child that age-IMO

[oaktreemama]

 Both kids are driving us crazy when they get together, which is often, and that is just how it is going to be. This is family. 

I understand this-I really do.

And as hard as it may be initially I think I would stop bringing a special toy into the house. Your DD could bring it in the car if she is able to actually leave it there. But if not, I think for now I would not add the additional stressor of having to defend a precious and special toy from her cousin. For some reason I immediately got the image of Gollum from LOTR in my head.

I think your idea of just doing crafts is a good one. Or, maybe spending as much time as possible outside. Going to playgrounds, the zoo, whatever. Activities where sharing (or the lack of) isn't quite as necessary. Sharing at that age is not developmentally appropriate but I certainly think a few ground rules are.

No grabbing. No hoarding. Need to take turns.

[mamazee]

They don't understand sharing, ownership, or even playing together.  They're 2-year-olds and 2-year-olds are possessive and demanding and (in many cases) aggressive.  All you can do is referee, and start the ideas of sharing and taking turns.  You can't expect them to actually get it at that age.

Maybe wait a few months before getting together so often?  I wouldn't stress over it too much though, and your child won't be traumatized over this.  It's normal 2-year-old behavior and when they get older she'll have moved on and they'll play together.  They're just not at an age where they will play well together, or really play together at all, and they are at an age where aggression and desire for control and possession are normal.

[crunchy_mommy]

I agree that maybe some time off from hanging out with the cousin is a good next step. This sounds like it's stressing your DD out way too much. We all have little skirmishes over sharing but I've never seen it affect a kid to that extent (and I know your DD is super bright & sensitive so I suspect that may be part of the reason she is so affected by this). I also wonder if it is stressing YOU out and she is picking up on it. We try not to go overboard with enforcing sharing around here. It's hard because in some situations I feel like I AM expected to step in, so I do, but in many situations I find the kids can work it out themselves.

I think if your DD has a special toy she brings for comfort, she should leave it in the car (or in your purse or wherever). It's not providing much 'comfort' if she's constantly worried about it being snatched up. Any toys brought to playdates etc. should be considered 'communal' toys and any toys that kids don't want to share should be put away beforehand, IMO. It may also help to meet on more neutral territory -- i.e. the library or something -- so neither feels ownership of any toys.

I definitely think putting all the toys away and doing crafts and games is a valid approach. I don't think you need to strap them in, but maybe I missed something there. :) Anyway, as far as the "rules," I feel they are:

-No grabbing

-Don't bring toys you aren't willing to share

-Any toys available are fair game for either kid, regardless of who technically 'owns' them -- whoever is holding the toy is taking a turn, and that turn needs to be respected

It's really a hard thing... I have 2 friends whose kids are great about sharing but most of the toddlers we hang out with struggle A LOT. It helps to have duplicates of certain toys, and to distract, and also to just give them time to work it out themselves rather than step in every time an incident occurs. I try not to step in unless one kid is clearly very upset, or if it's a stranger (since we don't know how they & their parent might react!) One tactic when stepping in (a friend taught me this) is to do the sign for taking turns -- that seems to work WAY better for my DS at least, even though we never ended up signing with him since he was very verbal very early. The visual of the sign seems to have a better effect on him.

[pbjmama]

Yeah, this is not about sharing toys, it is about sharing attention, sharing mom. Is it possible to take a break with your niece? Even just a week? I think your dd needs to be reassured that she is the most important in your life. Then, on to the toys. I would try to keep most everything put away and then have strict everyone shares everything otherwise. If one wants what the other has you can set a kitchen timer and say X has 3 more mins with that toy then it will be your turn. As it gets warmer you can get out of the house and focus on other no-toy activities. 

[shanniesue2]

Here is my take on sharing:  As adults, we are not expected to share everything we own.  If you want to borrow my car, I'm not necessarily going to let you use it.  Or I might let you use it for set amount of time and then ask for it back when I need it again.  Or if I am in the middle of writing a note with a pen and you need to borrow a pen, I'm probably not going to stop writing my note just to give you my pen.  Instead, I'll probably say something like, "you can have it when I'm done."  or "here, I have another pen that you can use." 

I agree, sharing/taking turns is a tough issue with 2 year olds.  But I don't think it's too young for them to start learning language like, "can I play with that?"  "no.  I'm playing." or "yes.  here."  It requires a lot of adult interaction and attention to the situation.  And, even though I don't like taking toys out of children's hands, I have taken toys out of DS's hands when he has taken them from another child.  And I have taken toys out of another child's hands when the child took something from DS.  Any time I've done this, my first steps were to guide DS or other child to say something like "I was playing with that.  Give it back."  If that didn't work then I said, "(child) was playing with that.  You may not take toys.  You need to give it back."  If that didn't work then I gently removed the toy from the child's hand and said, "(child) asked for their toy back and you need to give it to them." 

I think that if they are going to be playing in a situation where possessiveness over toys might come into play, that parents of all children need to be right there playing with them and need to be in agreement on what expectations are fair for everyone and how sharing disagreements are going to be handled by the adults.  Like, I don't think it's fair that your daughter has to take turns with her toys but your DN doen't have to take turns with her toys.  If the adults can't come to an agreement about fair sharing rules that apply to everyone, then I think activities involving the two girls need to be limited to outside play time, crafts, or other activities where sharing isn't required.

[akmbloom]

Just wanted to share that my two little cousins, my mom's two sisters' kids who are the same age, fought like crazy from age 2 till probably age 10 or so.  Then they started to mostly get along, and now that they're 22 they're quite good friends (although very different personalities).  So at least there's hope, and I bet your daughter won't be permanently scarred.

[Marissamom]

my rules are:

you never have to let someone else play with your comfort object 

you don't leave your comfort object where another kid can get it, if possible it stays at home/in the car or gets put up out of reach for visits

you never grab a toy that someone else is playing with, if you do and don't give it back when asked, it gets given back to them by an adult

if a child wants to play with a toy someone else is playing with, they may ask, but if the answer is no, the answer is no

trades are okay as long as both parties agree

no one child gets to claim all the toys. 

[curiouscanadian]

We're also dealing with this at the moment as for the next little while DS's cousin is spending some time with us in the evenings until this mom can get home. DS has some experience sharing as he's at a dayhome during the day, but it's still very difficult for him to share *his* toys.

A few things we're doing:

Focusing on "taking turns", rather than "sharing" (got this tip from our child care provider). I think "sharing" is too abstract at this age, whereas "taking turns" is clearer as the person who's "turn" it is, is the one who has the toy. And it's easier to tell one child "It's so and so's turn right now, you can have a turn when s/he's done", or "Ok, it's (the other child's) turn now." If it's as bad as you say, I'd also use a timer. Kids don't seem to argue with a beeping timer, and expectations are clear that when the timer goes off it's the other person's turn and that when the timer goes off AGAIN, they can have it back.

Telling DS that if he wants to take a toy somewhere, he needs to share it with everybody and that if he doesn't want to share the toy, he needs to leave it at home or in the car. This pretty much eliminates the "it's my possession, so only I get to play with it" situation.

Empathizing with DS about his feelings. The last couple of days there's been a lot of explaining that, yes, it's hard to share your toys, but DN doesn't have any of his toys at our house to play with so we need to share with DN while he's here. Also reasssuring DS that DN isn't going to take any of his toys home, so he can have them all back to himself when DN goes home. Not that any of this is a magic pill, but it does seem to help.

If we're somewhere where the toys are not DS's I simply point out that the toys don't belong to him and are for everybody to take turns with.

DH was being really hard on DS last night just telling him that he HAD to share and be gentle (having some issues with agression ATM too) until I pointed out he needed to look at it from DS's point of view and how would he feel if someone told him (DH) HAD to share his tools and he HAD to like it. (DH's a tradesman and is very possessive of his tools so that sure flicked a switch in his head lol!)

As for the cousin, it seems like some work needs to be done there too. Taunting would NOT be allowed. I'd say if you can't play with it nicely, you can't play with it at all. And I don't like forcibly taking something away from a child either but with the proper explanation as a PP outlined, I believe it's acceptable.

Another tactic I've used if DS wants something DN is playing with is to suggest DS try to find something else DN might want to play with and try to trade for the toy. I wouldn't ever force the trade, but often DN is just as interested in the new item and willingly gives up the item DS wanted. Rudimentary negotiating! lol

I've also been known to put specific toys in timeout if there is constant bickering over it, saying "You need to play/take turn with it nicely or we need to put it away until you can. OK, we need to put it away for awhile, we can maybe try again later" If it's happening with all the toys, well, you may have to eventually put ALL the toys away but I bet that would be an eye opener for both girls!

I also agree with everyone that at this age, they simply need a lot of guidance/supervision from an adult.

P.S. I got long-winded but Marissamom summed it up quite nicely.

[ellemenope]

Originally Posted by dancingflower 

I would think that it's not so much about the proper sharing etiquette but about what is developmentally appropriate. What can we expect them to understand about sharing? What behavior can we expect of them towards sharing?

My opinion is completely theoretical and ideological...Haven't been there haven't done that.
 

What a wonderful post!  I will try and remind myself that it is not developmentally appropriate to expect DD to want to share or understand personal property.  I felt like I had this all down months ago when it needed only be theoretical.  Now that i need to put the theory into practice...it is just crazy out there, man.
 

 Quote:

Originally Posted by serenbat 

I would strictly limit their time together for awhile, I would not put my child under this pressure- that is way too much stress for a child that age-IMO

I have gotten up and just left many times much to my mom's disappointment.  I feel so bad to take their granddaughter away.  They are in a situation where they must watch my niece for my sister.  Add that my sister lives with them, we really cannot get over there at all when DN is not over there.  I am also responsible for DN one day a week now while sister works.

My DD is under a lot of stress.  I just feel I recognized this too late, and we do have a lot of healing now to do.
 

Quote:

Originally Posted by oaktreemama 

 ...And as hard as it may be initially I think I would stop bringing a special toy into the house. Your DD could bring it in the car if she is able to actually leave it there. But if not, I think for now I would not add the additional stressor of having to defend a precious and special toy from her cousin. For some reason I immediately got the image of Gollum from LOTR in my head.

I think your idea of just doing crafts is a good one. Or, maybe spending as much time as possible outside. Going to playgrounds, the zoo, whatever. Activities where sharing (or the lack of) isn't quite as necessary. Sharing at that age is not developmentally appropriate but I certainly think a few ground rules are.

No grabbing. No hoarding. Need to take turns.

You are so right.  The comfort item thing has got to end.  It gives DN so much pleasure to mess with it.  I just need to take that out of the equation.  I know I wont be able to make it out the door without one but I will make sure it stays in the car.  What is a good reason to give DD for that?  Should I say we need to keep it safe in the car?  I don't want to create any more neuroses.

I wish I could take the two of them out more, but I am not confident.  I was not meant for the two toddler thing!  DN is a runner.  She just bolts!  straight into traffic!  I just can't be responsible for her out there.  We do have a nice fenced yard right now...full of snow.
 

Quote:

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy 

I definitely think putting all the toys away and doing crafts and games is a valid approach. I don't think you need to strap them in, but maybe I missed something there. :)

Well, it is kind of a separate issue.  DN will just get all up in DD's business when they are eating or doing crafts.  I suppose it is just DN that needs to be strapped in.  But, DD is so possessive about her high chair now...

I feel like I am really picking on DN here.  She is not malicious.  At least I am trying to not think she is.  It is all age appropriate stuff I guess.  She just hits DD constantly and wont leave her alone.  If both girls have a pretzel, DN will take DD's out of her hand and eat both.  If DD is eating lunch and DN is done DN will just climb up in DD's chair and try to sit on her.  If someone asks DD to get something, DN will push DD, run ahead of her, pick up the item, and throw it over the gate. 

The root of her issues might stem from her being passed around a lot between many caregivers.  It also might be paternal genetics.  I don't want to go into any more details because I love her so much and I hate being so judgy.  I will say I do feel sorry for her because of the situation she is in.

Anyway, I let a lot slide at first and that did no good.  DD allows herself to be pushed around and is a huger tattle-taler.  It is very annoying.
 

Quote:

Originally Posted by shanniesue2 

Here is my take on sharing:  As adults, we are not expected to share everything we own.  If you want to borrow my car, I'm not necessarily going to let you use it.  Or I might let you use it for set amount of time and then ask for it back when I need it again.  Or if I am in the middle of writing a note with a pen and you need to borrow a pen, I'm probably not going to stop writing my note just to give you my pen.  Instead, I'll probably say something like, "you can have it when I'm done."  or "here, I have another pen that you can use." 

I agree, sharing/taking turns is a tough issue with 2 year olds.  But I don't think it's too young for them to start learning language like, "can I play with that?"  "no.  I'm playing." or "yes.  here."  It requires a lot of adult interaction and attention to the situation.  And, even though I don't like taking toys out of children's hands, I have taken toys out of DS's hands when he has taken them from another child.  And I have taken toys out of another child's hands when the child took something from DS.  Any time I've done this, my first steps were to guide DS or other child to say something like "I was playing with that.  Give it back."  If that didn't work then I said, "(child) was playing with that.  You may not take toys.  You need to give it back."  If that didn't work then I gently removed the toy from the child's hand and said, "(child) asked for their toy back and you need to give it to them." 

I think that if they are going to be playing in a situation where possessiveness over toys might come into play, that parents of all children need to be right there playing with them and need to be in agreement on what expectations are fair for everyone and how sharing disagreements are going to be handled by the adults.  Like, I don't think it's fair that your daughter has to take turns with her toys but your DN doen't have to take turns with her toys.  If the adults can't come to an agreement about fair sharing rules that apply to everyone, then I think activities involving the two girls need to be limited to outside play time, crafts, or other activities where sharing isn't required.

The words, "No, [cousin], I was playing with that first!"  are seriously burned in my brain.  I feel nauseous just thinking about them.  I might hear this 50 times a day when they are together.  They have gotten us nowhere.

I am going to get everyone together and let them no that any toy in grandparents' family room is now communal.  If they continue to fight over a toy it goes up.  There shall be zero tolerance for yanking toys out of hands.
 

Quote:

 Originally Posted by curiouscanadian

Empathizing with DS about his feelings. The last couple of days there's been a lot of explaining that, yes, it's hard to share your toys, but DN doesn't have any of his toys at our house to play with so we need to share with DN while he's here. Also reasssuring DS that DN isn't going to take any of his toys home, so he can have them all back to himself when DN goes home. Not that any of this is a magic pill, but it does seem to help...

...Another tactic I've used if DS wants something DN is playing with is to suggest DS try to find something else DN might want to play with and try to trade for the toy. I wouldn't ever force the trade, but often DN is just as interested in the new item and willingly gives up the item DS wanted. Rudimentary negotiating! lol

I've also been known to put specific toys in timeout if there is constant bickering over it, saying "You need to play/take turn with it nicely or we need to put it away until you can. OK, we need to put it away for awhile, we can maybe try again later" If it's happening with all the toys, well, you may have to eventually put ALL the toys away but I bet that would be an eye opener for both girls!

I also agree with everyone that at this age, they simply need a lot of guidance/supervision from an adult.

P.S. I got long-winded but Marissamom summed it up quite nicely.

Yes, I do need to sit down with DD and talk about how she feels.  I need to let her know how sorry I am about this.  I want her to know that DN doesn't mean to be so mean to her.  She is just a baby. 

And I love the "toy time out" idea.
 

[tzs]

i haven't read the responses but i do teach young two year-old and this is how i operate.

-firstly, you can't or shouldn't even try to teach "sharing" until at least 3. it's just not age appropriate for 2 year-olds. all you can do is "take turns" but that requires mostly adult participation. 

-possession is 100% of the law. it doesn't matter who brought the toy or who owns the toy. if it's in the kid's hand then it's "theirs." at school if a kid brings a toy it's a recipe for disaster. the owner gets sad and frantic when others play with it and the others have no concept of why they shouldn't play with it. i don't even allow toys from home to come in. i had ONE kid once who could handle bringing a toy in and letting other kids have turns but that was so so rare. i recommend taking comfort toys along but leaving them in the car. that way they have brought them, it got them there, and they know they're there but without the mega-drama.

-alot of the time kids this age are able to work things out for themselves. it might involve some shrieking or crying which we never like to hear but kids are remarkably capable and resilient. i feel like alot of the time adult intervention/presence only escalates the situation when if they had been left to their own devices the scuffle would have been over in moments. and then every so often you could all play together and you could help model taking turns.

with such a close age gap it might be toddler trouble right now but imagine what good friends they may grow up to be. when dd sees her slightly older cousin she gets this huge smile on her face which quickly melts as she tries to escape screaming because she knows the cousin is going to basically tackle her and smother her with way too much love and um.....lack of knowledge of personal space....to put it kindly. but i can totally see how the are going to grow into each other.

Edited by tzs - 1/12/11 at 6:38pm

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by ellemenope 
You are so right.  The comfort item thing has got to end.  It gives DN so much pleasure to mess with it.  I just need to take that out of the equation.  I know I wont be able to make it out the door without one but I will make sure it stays in the car.  What is a good reason to give DD for that?  Should I say we need to keep it safe in the car?  I don't want to create any more neuroses.

I usually tell DS that we are going to leave it in the house so it doesn't get lost, and that it will be there waiting for him when we return. You could just give her a special place in the car -- one of those pockets on the back of the seat of the side of the door or something -- and tell her that it's a safe place for her comfort object to wait until she gets back in the car, that it won't get lost or damaged etc. Just make it part of your routine of getting out of the car. (And if she really resists that change, just pick it up the moment she drops it & keep it in your bag or something).

Quote:

Originally Posted by ellemenope 

Well, it is kind of a separate issue.  DN will just get all up in DD's business when they are eating or doing crafts.  I suppose it is just DN that needs to be strapped in.  But, DD is so possessive about her high chair now...

I feel like I am really picking on DN here.  She is not malicious.  At least I am trying to not think she is.  It is all age appropriate stuff I guess.  She just hits DD constantly and wont leave her alone.  If both girls have a pretzel, DN will take DD's out of her hand and eat both.  If DD is eating lunch and DN is done DN will just climb up in DD's chair and try to sit on her.  If someone asks DD to get something, DN will push DD, run ahead of her, pick up the item, and throw it over the gate. 

The root of her issues might stem from her being passed around a lot between many caregivers.  It also might be paternal genetics.  I don't want to go into any more details because I love her so much and I hate being so judgy.  I will say I do feel sorry for her because of the situation she is in.

Anyway, I let a lot slide at first and that did no good.  DD allows herself to be pushed around and is a huger tattle-taler.  It is very annoying.

Hmm. Sounds like some interesting dynamics going on there!! It doesn't sound like your DN's behavior is abnormal but maybe she needs a little extra help & attention to stay more in control? It sounds like they just really don't know how to interact with each other (nor do most other toddlers!) and it's creating some tough scenarios. Maybe you can try to help them get each other's attention in more positive ways, and kind of demo how they can interact together??? And make sure to give each of them some targeted one-on-one attention as well? I'm really kind of clueless, I don't know what I'd do in your situation, except TBH I'd probably let sister know that she temporarily needs to find other childcare for that one day a week... so that there are always 2 caregivers present when the cousins get together... But I'm sure there are other ways to handle it!!! The only other thing I can think of is, since they are both so into 'ownership', maybe make a big deal out of who's is whose? So make fancy signs for each of their chairs (whether they are highchairs or regular chairs or whatever) and label each of their cups/plates/etc. as well as maybe a few toys. And whenever those labels are on the objects, they need to keep their hands off the ones that aren't 'theirs'? (You could remove the labels during the rest of the week when DN isn't there).

[JudiAU]

I think sharing is overrated. We take turns. Whomever posesses the toy plays with it until they are done. Then it is available for the next person to share. The rule is the same everywhere we go unless it is clearly an inapproriate toy based on age.

[ellemenope]

We have a happy update, and I owe it all to yous!

It took a couple of weeks, but they are actually getting along.  Basically, we took ownership out of the equation.  When they are together, nobody 'owns' anything.  Possession is everything.  There is absolutely no yanking.  And, taking turns is mandatory.  If you don't want to take turns, the toy goes up, until one or the other leaves.  I leave comfort items in the car.

And, they GOT it.  It is working...for now.  The change in my DD is remarkable.  The terror of toy snatchings and tugs of war have stopped.  It is over.  I no longer hear "No [cousin,] that is my toy."  It is unbelievable.  I am actually hearing "please can I have a turn now, [cousin?]"  And, amazingly they rarely have problems with "taking turns."

They are actually playing together!  DN has started speaking a lot more and in complete sentences, and they are having conversations.  They cooperate.  They play!

You all are genii!  I tip my hat.  Thank you.

[crunchy_mommy]

So glad to hear things are working out well!

[tzs]

that is so cute!

[Marissamom]

That's awesome!