Totally potty trained if naked at home. Dressed is another story - help?

[elisheva]

My ds2 (28 months) is totally potty trained (well, I really didn't have much to do with it - he was totally self-motivated) IFF he's naked at home. If he has clothes on, he pees - diaper or not. 

What's the solution here? Do I just have to put up with peed/pooped in clothes until he gets the idea that the potty's the place even when you have clothes on? We've talked about it lots. I offered to take him to buy his own undies (he has worn his big brother's when I've tried undies instead of a pull-up), but he says he doesn't want them . 

Ds1 totally trained himself at 37 months and it took about 3 days - no accidents since. Guess I got a little spoiled. 

I'm willing to wait with ds2 but I just really think he can do this. 

[Llyra]

Originally Posted by elisheva 

My ds2 (28 months) is totally potty trained (well, I really didn't have much to do with it - he was totally self-motivated) IFF he's naked at home. If he has clothes on, he pees - diaper or not. 

What's the solution here? Do I just have to put up with peed/pooped in clothes until he gets the idea that the potty's the place even when you have clothes on? We've talked about it lots. I offered to take him to buy his own undies (he has worn his big brother's when I've tried undies instead of a pull-up), but he says he doesn't want them . 

Ds1 totally trained himself at 37 months and it took about 3 days - no accidents since. Guess I got a little spoiled. 

I'm willing to wait with ds2 but I just really think he can do this. 

I went through this with two of my three kids. It was my girls-- they were completely reliable if they were naked, but put any clothes on them at all, and forget it.

I went through a lot of frustration and aggravation the first time. It didn't seem to help. She did it when she got good and ready, and the frustration just made both of us upset.

So the second time, I just relaxed about it. If she could be naked, I let her be. If she couldn't, I put a diaper on her, without making a big deal out of it. I tried to be very matter-of-fact about it. She did learn, and actually earlier than DD1 did, and it was a much easier and less stressful experience for both of us.

I understand being spoiled-- my DS was a late pottyer, but once we started, he "got it" almost immediately, and only had a very small number of accidents before he was completely reliable. If he had been my first, I can see how I could have been very discouraged with my girls-- it was such a long process with them, compared to how it was with DS.

So I'd say just give it time, and patience, and when having accidents in clothing really isn't practical (in the car, at a store, at other folks' houses) just let him have the diaper with no comment. I've learned that putting pressure on them backfires, and that they have to do this in their own good time when they decide it's time.

[shanniesue2]

DS was like that.  One thing that helped us was putting clothes on him, but not underwear.  Somehow, it was like the underwear felt too much like having a diaper, I guess cause everything was held in place, iykwim.  He did much better in clothes without undies and once he got that down, we started putting undies on him again.

[Aleida Gomez]

My son, who is now 2 years and 3 months, did the same. Until one day I decided it was I who did not trust him. So what I did was a day to tell him that I was not going to put a diaper when we left and I told him I would ask him during the day if he wanted to go to the bathroom. It was only a week or two during which I was to be pending and he got wet about two or three times. Then he just started telling me. He also liked when I bougth him underwear. 

[Courtney-Ostaff]

I just asked her if she needed to go, a lot.   Every 45 minutes or so. Occasionally we'd get a "yes" and off we went.  Then I gradually stopped nagging her as frequently.  Now, she's pretty good, but if I can't remember the last time she went, or it's been more than 3 or 4 hours, off we go.

[mama Adhiambo]

My daughter had this problem at first too. The pants and underwear felt too much like a diaper to her and she forgot she wasn't wearing one. I put just loose pants on her with no underwear and then once she got the hang of that then we tried underwear. Also, I wanted to mention that pull-ups are the same as a diaper and the kids I know all treat it that way, so I wouldn't recommend pull-ups. I would either switch to (padded?) underwear or stick with the diapers because pull-ups are more expensive than diapers.

[Courtney-Ostaff]

See, about 15 months, my daughter flat-out refused to wear a diaper. I mean, it would take three adults to hold her down to put a diaper on.  However, she would be happy as a clam to pull up her own pull-up.  We did pullups for 9 months, until I was ready to potty train (long story).

[elisheva]

We're doing pull-ups out of the house right now because he can at least pull them up and down himself (he likes to pee when his big brother does when we're out). I'm debating a trial of just undies and trousers for a few days to see if repeated wetting bugs him. If it doesn't, back to pull ups we go and we'll just let him move at his own pace. I don't have the energy to remind him all the time when we're out and I def don't have the energy for dealing with the mess :(

[JBaxter]

Commando!  LIke one of the pp said my boys were also undies wetters.  If anything was to snug they would forget.  We did loose sweats / shorts for a while after the naked phase.  I only used pull ups if we were going go and or nights.

[Emma Bryan Fuller]

I am having problems too. Skye 23m will use the toilet all day at home with her soft seat on it. I didn't potty train her but she has been doing this for 4 months and never has an accident. When we are out i put a pull up on. She pees in it and refuses to use a toilet. At the beach i put undies on her but as soon as she needs to go she will ask for a diaper on just so she can go!!!

She is so used to not wearing a diaper at home that she finds them uncomfortable and it's right off as soon as we get home. We are in the car on school run a lot and our island is not toilet/kid friendly.

Not sure how we will ever pass this stage. I feel boys(have 2) it's easier to be discreet ???

Thanks for advice :)

[KJunebug]

My 34 month DD will only use the potty if completely naked.  I mean not so much as a sock can be on.  It is the only thing guarenteed to cause her to throw herself to the ground in an all out fit, if I suggest she wear her shirt, or her socks....

They tell me at school that she must be pants free, but that is it.... no idea what the difference is, but there is one. (they also give her M&Ms which I only found out after months of them doing it.... no choice but to let it go I think at this point, but I still won't do it at home.... if for no other reason than I would eat them all!!!)

I have this theory part of the reason my DD is not so big on the potty is we cloth diaper.  I know I was told they train sooner because they know they are wet, BUT my theory is since she has always known what it feels like to feel wet, she is less bother by it....

Most days, I go to my happy place and know that eventually we will get there.... just fielding it as it comes for now.  I am hoping that she will just come to me one day and ask to go without diapers, and then thats it.  I know people with this story.....  why not me?

[elisheva]

We're just riding it out for now. I did put undies and trousers on him yesterday (maybe next time will try commando but it sounds uncomfortable to *me* lol - he prob wouldn't care!) and he had an accident pretty soon after we were out. He doesn't seem to connect just yet. We'll see how it goes but at this point I think it's more about me being too lazy to remember to remind him...
 

Originally Posted by Emma Bryan Fuller 

I am having problems too. Skye 23m will use the toilet all day at home with her soft seat on it. I didn't potty train her but she has been doing this for 4 months and never has an accident. When we are out i put a pull up on. She pees in it and refuses to use a toilet. At the beach i put undies on her but as soon as she needs to go she will ask for a diaper on just so she can go!!!

She is so used to not wearing a diaper at home that she finds them uncomfortable and it's right off as soon as we get home. We are in the car on school run a lot and our island is not toilet/kid friendly.

Not sure how we will ever pass this stage. I feel boys(have 2) it's easier to be discreet ???

Thanks for advice :)