Back to work, & I'm not getting enough sleep! Help, please!

[rockportmama]

My DD just turned 2, & keeps waking me up to nurse. I'm tired & cranky & can't think of options other than weaning her, which is not what I wanna do. But the option is on the table, unfortunately.

When my second job starts up next week my schedule will get really hairy and we may end up with just night & weekend nursing. So I'm scared that night weaning would mean weaning altogether. It's also putting more pressure on me to get enough sleep. I do taxes @ my day job & teach at a junior college 2 evenings, so I really do need sleep so I can think enough to work.

Last night we started to bed at 11:30 (this is getting a little earlier each night. I've been working for weeks to get them to sleep earlier & it totally backfired on me--long story). Neither of my kids were tired. The 5yo can settle down well enough because he wants the cuddle time. But my 2yo gets chompy at the nipple when she's not interested. Not happy. So I yelled at Hubby to set her up with Barney on Netflix so I could sleep. This was after teeth brushing & storytime, etc, around 12:30.

IDK when she came to bed. She nursed, but it didn't really wake me up.

4:30 I wake up to pee.

5:30 She wakes up to nurse, waking me up for about 15 min.

6:30 She wakes up to nurse, waking me up for about 15 min.

7:00 Alarm.

Wise & kind Mamas, if you could give me some ideas & encouragement (maybe we'll adjust soon?) I would greatly appreciate it. I'm too tired to think of constructive ideas.

TIA,

-rockport-

[akind1]

Could your DH take over chill time (maybe start at 10 or 11) so you can get a few hours of sleep? Much as I love co-sleeping, having DS start out in his own crib (we made this transition around 7 months) and then bringing him to bed was a very good for all of us sleeping better.

On one hand, night weaning may be a good thing for you, as you really need your sleep, however, if that is the only time your DD nurses and neither of you are really ready to wean, you need to find a way to meet that need at night and still sleep. My only real thought is to have your DH help more with the sleeping. Maybe you could alternate wake ups. the first wake up, nurse to sleep, the next have DH cuddle or whatever to sleep, and so on.

That is all the wisdom I have, I hope it improves soon!

[D_McG]

I'd definitely work on the bedtime.  Both of my kids need an early bedtime (7pm).  Apart from that I guess you just have to chose, right?  I wouldn't do just night and weekend nursing, personally.  IDK how many times I've said "nighttime is for sleeping" to my kids :)  Seriously though I hope you figure something out!

[jenninjapan]

Have you thought about the Jay Gordon plan?  I did it and it was amazing and made such a difference.  It is night weaning, but really all you are doing is setting a time (about 7 hours - for us it was between 11 and 6am and now we go from about 10 until 9 am) where you don't nurse and both of you can get to sleep.  So nothing with our night time routine changed and nothing about our waking up feed changed, the only difference was that we had much better sleeps and sometimes I even got the full 7 hour stretch.  Even though I night weaned DS, it def did nothing to stop the desire to feed in the morning, for naps and night time.  Six months later I am still working on that....

[rockportmama]

Thanks for the ideas, Mamas!

I'm not familiar with Jay Gordon, but it would be nice to get some sleep! I'm definitely trying to get Hubby on board with helping more. Last night he finally stepped in about 4am and got Baby Girl to sleep. She won't go to sleep with me without nursing, and she'd already gotten all the milk and was hurting me. But once she was asleep she did just fine, and didn't nurse again till morning. Although she was on the other side of DS, instead of next to me. Maybe that's the trick? Physical distance? We don't have a crib -- DS bounced it to death!

I think DH'll probably watch the kids starting at 10 on the nights he's home (he gets home from work at 12:30am). I probably just need a better night-night routine, or to make it more routine.  I might start it right at 10:30 every night, because that's what time I'll bring them home from the babysitter's on school nights. She's really good about sending them home fed, bathed & in PJ's, so we'll just need to brush teeth, etc.

Ok, so, The Plan:

-discuss with the kids that I need more sleep to be less cranky

-make the routine more routine at exactly 10:30 every night. That means:

     -last snack/drink @ 10

     -I'll put together my clothes, books, breakfast/lunch for the next day @ 9:30

     -any last minute chores I wanna do finished before 9:30 or they wait

-after *I'm* done nursing, DD goes to Papa or on the other side of DS

-set the alarm for a 1/2 hour early to do a morning nurse before I go to work (I'll be out of the house from 7:30am to 10:30pm 2 days a week)

Thanks again! I was so freaked out & tired I couldn't see any solutions at all!! Y'all's great ideas got me thinking again, & I feel better with a plan. I'll let you know how we work it out!

 

-rockport-