5 year old with suspected adhd and 3 year old copying behaviour...

[welshyb]

Hi, I'm new on here, Just like to explain a little about my children.  my son is 5 and has had behaviour problems since he was 18 months old, hes under a psychologist for behaviour  counselling and under consultants in 2 different hospitals.

My son  is abusive to me, screams has tantrums if he cant get his own way, can not go to the shop, park well really any were with him as he will go off on one. will not listen at all, does not understand the word NO. smashes everything up, breakes things on purpose, cant keep still for 5mins, hurts himself if he cant have something. all ways on the go, gets distracted very easily, punches, kicks, slaps and a new one at the moment is biting. the school has had meetings with me one teacher says he a normal 5 year old and another one says she worried what hes going to be like when hes older if hes like what he is now. i keep getting told that he is to young to be tested for adhd but has been told he is showing high risk symtoms of add. 

But at the moment my daughter who has just turned 3 and has started nursery has been copying him for the last 6 months, she started nursery this week went back on her second day and hit 2 teachers and now they dont no weather to let her go back, but shes just copying her brother , im dont think im getting the help thats out there. and when there is something wrong with our child a mother knows.

is there anyone in the same sort of circumstances as me please talk to me so im not alone

thankyou 

[Emmeline II]

My sister's second child is PDD-NOS and both her first and third child have seen a therapist for years, mainly due to how living with their brother has affected them; so I would consider therapy for your younger child or just keeping her home for now if it is not necessary for her to be in school. Our state doesn't have universal preschool so neither my children nor their cousins have been to preschool and the three in school now have done fine academically.

As for your son, he sounds A LOT like my son at 5yo and I am still angry when I remember how dismissive the school was ("we don't consider ADHD until 2nd or 3rd grade, but we're going to suspend him so he learns a lesson "), and how we were put off by our family therapist from seeking a diagnosis from a psychologist.

When we finally took ds to a child psychiatrist at 6.5 years old she was shocked at what we were told (about not being able to get an ADHD diagnosis) when I told her what his K year was like. By that point we were ready to try medication and started on Concerta which helped ds immensely. A few months later ds was still having significant impulse control issues in unstructured environments and his Dr. increased the dose. That made things worse so we switched to Vyvanse--ds managed to get through the holidays and 8 days of school (so far) with no behavioral problems! I was even able to get ds an appointment at a special behavioral clinic at a children's hospital that only takes patients on referral, and it takes 9months to get in--we have that appointment next month.

If you can, I would keep trying child psychologists/psychiatrists until you find one that would consider an ADHD diagnosis for a 5yo. Ds sees a psychiatrist about every 3 months and a CBT weekly (though she just recommended a change to bi-weekly).

Also, food sensitivities (like gluten, dairy, food dyes) and sleep disorders can mimic ADHD symptoms or make them worse.

Sensory Processing Disorder Checklist

Quoting myself in another thread:

[quote]

We tried a family therapist for awhile and pretty much just figured out that our discipline style did not really impact his behavior; though too lenient or strict made it worse, the middle ground did not make it better, just not worse. Ds appears to have little intrinsic motivation to "do the right thing" and lacks in empathy; though these seem to have improved with medication.

Kindergarten was hell; I'll pm you the bullet list I took to the family doctor for a referral to a developmental pediatrician. Though ds' behavior at home improved immensely after a couple months of school.

So, we went to the family therapist from February to May. In June I took my bullet list to the family doctor who diagnosed ADHD/ODD on the referral form; I sent the referral form to the local children's hospital that has a clinic with a developmental pediatrician--once an appointment is had it is a full day of interdisciplinary consults and evaluations.

While waiting on the DP we had an evaluation with an occupational therapist in July; this report was very useful in communicating what ds is like, to his teacher, therapist, and psychiatrist. The OT noted his sensory issues but also said she say signs of Asperger's but she is not qualified to diagnose that.

In August ds freaked out the family by playing with matches in a closed bathroom and we finally took him to a child psychiatrist. The psychiatrist diagnosed ADHD but is not ready to diagnose Asperger's yet; she also recommended "psychotherapy"; I found that the therapist she recommended does CBT and we're hoping that ds will benefit more from her than the last therapist, though she did mention how "unique" ds is in his issues. Ds is now taking Concerta.

Ds school experience this year is MUCH MUCH MUCH better than last year. Though he is still exhibiting the same "quirks," he is now redirectable. His new (charter) school is much smaller, he has a more understanding/flexable teacher and a special ed person who actually sees ds issues as something to be addressed with actions other than behavior charts. Ds is also gifted which complicated things with his last school (which is primarily concerned with working on grade level, anything beyond that they didn't care). [/quote]

Edited by Emmeline II - 1/12/11 at 2:44pm