Would you pull your child from school...

[LiamTaylorsMom]

when they are thriving there?  DS1 is in a local Montessori school in the Primary program (Kindergarten).  We contemplated homeschooling him this year but decided to give this a try.  He's doing fantastic.  That being said, he'll be moving up to Elementary next year at the same school and it will be a bit different. 

The Elementary is mixed ages (1st through 5th) in one small building (maybe 3 or 4 open rooms).There is some separation (1st and 2nd on one side....3-5th on the other) but I"m not sure how much of the day is like that.  This is a total of maybe 30ish kids (tops!).  The day would also be extended by an extra 30 minutes.

We have been very happy with his school so far (this is our first year) but I have some concerns.  While everything is still child-led, DS comes home with more paperwork than I would like.  He is also getting homework, which I don't believe in.  It's not necessarily required, but is going home 4 nights a week.  Also, DS is very much a homebody.  He's not very interested in outside activities at all and being in school all day wears on him.  He definitely likes school but his behaviors have changed (although maybe this is more due to his age and would have happened at home as well). 

In addition to this, DH is in the Army and we move a lot.  We've been here 6 months and DS really hasn't had a chance to make friends.  There are no children in the neighborhood and the majority of the children in his class are from Mexico (we're in a border town) and DS has a hard time relating to them/understanding them.  I'm wondering if it would be better to HS him next year and give him the opportunity to interact with other Army kiddos who are dealing with the same issues that DS is dealing with.  Our post as a HS co-op with various weekly activities.

On top of this, we are dealing with a scheduled deployment next year (not sure if it will be called off) and so I'd be on my own.  I'm currently taking Clomid and am hoping to be pregnant which would put us with a newborn in October.  But also, I'm factoring the financial aspect in as HSing would save us a ton of money.

I apologize if this is so long but I need to talk to others to get some perspective.  I love the idea of HSing and feel it would suit our lifestyle better in many ways, but I'm worried that it would be a mistake to pull DS from a school where he is happy and doing well.  I'm also concerned that I'd be taking on too much.

FWIW...we are scheduled to move again at the end of next year and we have no idea where (love the Army!).

TIA!

[Super Pickle]

No, I wouldn't. And I didn't--I pulled my oldest out of public school b/c he hated it, but his younger brother is thriving there so we decided not to bring him home. 

I think that unless you have the time and energy and support needed to do homeschooling well--or unless you know in your heart that you definitely want to homeschool--then you should be grateful that your son is happy in school and accept that it may not be 100% perfect, but it is a good fit right now.

You will probably get other responses encouraging you to homeschool no matter what, and that's fine. Some people think homeschooling is always best. But I personally feel that unless you are really committed to homeschooling, or unless it's a conscious choice you made in the context of a long-term vision for your family, you might as well take advantage of a great school where your child is happy and learning.

Just my opinion!  HTH~

[MommaCrystal]

In your shoes I'd probably finish the year.  If everyone is happy then let it ride out.  But you are on a homeschool board.  I'm pro homeschooling for many reasons.  You said homeschooling would fit your family's lifestyle.  So why not do it?

[inky leeuhhh]

i would finish the year out and re evaluate at the end of the year. would you be able to try the school next year and pull him if you felt it wasn't going the way you'd like? or try hsing and put him back in if needed?

[Linda on the move]

We've homeschooled in the past, the kids have attended public school, and they currently attend a private school. We also move a lot do to my DH's job.

I wouldn't pull my child mid year if they were basically happy and were learning. It's just too much of an upheaval for no real reason.

My advice about next year would be to put that decision off as long as possible. It's really hard to say how you'll feel at the time. It could really be effected by pregnacy (good luck!) and deployment. Being home with two kids when daddy is gone for months is truly different from homeschooling when daddy comes home and night at mommy can get a break. However, some bases have GREAT homeschooling support right on base. Make your decision next year about what will be best FOR YOU. It's not selfish to set up your life so that you feel sane and supported, whether that feels more like homeschooling with base support or a planned break from your older child while he does interesting things elsewhere. It's just a decision for one year, not for life. When the times comes to make that choice, make it based on what sounds fun, supported, and connected.

After your next move, you could look at your options there and make a totally different choice. We've lived places where homeschooling is wonderful, and places where it is really isolating. We've lived places with GREAT public schools, and places were I feel sad for child who have no choice but attend public school, and we currently live in a city with the most amazing private school but there wasn't anything like it in the last city we've in.

Every single place is different. My kids are older now (12 and 14) but I really wish that when they were little, some one had told me how different our options would be depending on where we lived, and just to flow with what was best at the time rather than having A Philosophy that I tried to make work regardless of what else was going on.

It really sounds you will home school at some point (because your heart is there!) but you don't have to start now. Start when it totally feels right.

[mattemma04]

Is your ds going FT to M? Would it be possible to skip a day here and there to attend some local hs events on base?  I would do that instead of pulling midyear.

The next year will be very different at your M.Ours breaks it up primary,then, 1-3, 4-6, then a 7-8.Kids don't get homework till the upper el 4-6 and you must do it.

I would want to get a feel for the base activites.See if you can find groups and kids that your son will like.Change will be a constant in your lifestyle,so I am sure your ds will learn to adjust.

Best wishes with finding a good fit for ds and with the pregnancy!

[mom2ponygirl]

Originally Posted by LiamTaylorsMom 
 We've been here 6 months and DS really hasn't had a chance to make friends.  

I agree with the suggestion to take an occasional day off and try out some homeschool group activities.  We found it much easier for our dd to make friends within the homeschool group than she did at her Montessori school (we started hs'ing when she was 5.5).   If he really hits it off with the hs kids, you will all probably be happier to go ahead and pull out.  However, if he is just having a great time and seems upset about leaving, I'd wait until the school year ends.  That is what we did.  At our Montessori, the majority of kids transferred to public school at 5/6, so it was a natural transition point. 

As far as taking on too much - well, I don't think you need to worry too much about structured academics taking up a bunch of your time at this age.  Lots of reading, some playing at math, participating in some hs co-op stuff if it suits you, and you'll find your ds makes plenty of great progress at this age.  

[octobermom]

 I pulled my child from her school and inrolled her in a virtual Academy for this semester. She was excelling at her school but..

1) I wasn't 100% happy with the schooling shes was getting it was great in soem areas too gappy in others

2) we are moving and the new location would mean eaither looong commutes, even longer bus rides or relocating schools we decided to bring her home.

We love our decession

Deanna

[Thandiwe]

I did...and I don't regret it.

See, my child (actually both of them) are over-achievers who listen very well.  They both are pleasers.  So, naturally, they were great students.  But I had very very similar concerns to yours.  My son was just not "right."  My oldest kindy boy was like a shrinking violet I watched withering away.  He wasn't as vivacious.  He wasn't interested in anything else.  He was snippy and mean, frustrated. 

My younger son was doing awesome at preschool, but it was a battle every.single.morning to get him out of bed and there.  He literally flipped out every time.  Once there, he did ok, but i was a battle.  I pulled them both, and have had brief moments wondering, but overall I don't regret it.

Your accounts are conflicting, and I completely understand why.  On the one-hand you say he's thriving, but on the other hand you say he's not himself anymore.  Listen to your own child; deep down you know the answers.  I listened, against all that I *should* have done, and my kids have become my kids again!  They have recovered so much in the last 2 months, and each time I see them so happy I am relieved.

Good luck; this is a big decision, but it's the hardest thing to actually do it.  It's so much easier afterwards.