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Strongly Considering a UC in June '11 Tribe...support only please! - Page 2

post #21 of 240

Loving the trusting God discussion! Dh and I are right there. I pray and trust God's will. We never had to have anyone sign off on dh's FMLA w/ any of our last few births, UP/UC. He got it approved and did use vacation time, no questions. W/ Finnian he took 3 months off. That time flew by :(

post #22 of 240
Thread Starter 

Wow, I wonder how we can do that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mamatoabunch View Post

Loving the trusting God discussion! Dh and I are right there. I pray and trust God's will. We never had to have anyone sign off on dh's FMLA w/ any of our last few births, UP/UC. He got it approved and did use vacation time, no questions. W/ Finnian he took 3 months off. That time flew by :(


Edited by Tumble Bumbles - 4/9/11 at 4:19pm
post #23 of 240
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tumble Bumbles View Post

Wow, I wonder how we can do that. Dh works for a government agency and the admin asst. already gave him the paperwork which is like 5 pages long for the HCP to fill out. How did you do that, exactly.... I need steps lol

 


Dh works gov't too. I will call and ask him now. Ok asked him, when he had paperwork for me, caring for another family member, the paperwork is different than if he was taking FMLA for himself, if he was ill. Dh had an accident 12/09, concussion, very serious and we did have to have his HCP fill out, but not caring for me and our baby after a birth. Could they be giving him the wrong paperwork? We can actually do ours online and they just mail us a form of the dates or he can do it over the phone. 

post #24 of 240
Thread Starter 

The paperwork was to take care of me/baby after birth and she put a post-it on the front saying it was for "our OB" (yeah right eyesroll.gif) to fill out. She said they've never had one even filled out by a midwife (sad but obviously a midwife does qualify as a hcp)...hmmm... I'll have to look into this more.

post #25 of 240
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tumble Bumbles View Post

The paperwork was to take care of me/baby after birth and she put a post-it on the front saying it was for "our OB" (yeah right eyesroll.gif) to fill out. She said they've never had one even filled out by a midwife (sad but obviously a midwife does qualify as a hcp)...hmmm... I'll have to look into this more.



Oooh that annoys me, there is no gov't requirement that it must be an OB and I would just find a midwife that would be sympathetic to sign off or I'd sign it myself. I signed my own proof of pregnancy the last few times, go ahead try and challenge me, LOL. What state are you in? B/c here in NM it is common to have a midwife and also to have a midwife handle other care besides, like well women. Do you have a family dr? Mine would sign it, I know, if I needed. 

 

post #26 of 240

THe other part I believe is that if it's God's will to have the baby born via C/S or some type of complication where emergency care is needed, then He'll speak to you to head to the hospital. Whether you want to think it's intuition or God, either way we need to greatly believe in listening to ourselves. thumb.gif
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tumble Bumbles View Post

 

Quote:
 I see that you're a Christian so I tell you my philosophy is that the ONLY savior of birth is THE SAVIOR himself. It's His will no matter what. I don't know if that helps, but either way.... just have faith in your body, baby, intuition, and your Savior.
 

 

  I completely agree. That's what I believe as well which is part of what's leading me to UC. There can be a team of doctors and if The Lord wants to take our babe home, that's what's going to happen. On the other hand, if God has it in His plan for a healthy babe, it's going to happen right here. I totally believe in God's sovereignty. Thanks for the encouragement.

post #27 of 240
Thread Starter 

Thanks for the info and support :)

 

Hmm... signing it myself would be awesome seeing as UC isn't illegal. Our family doc may do it, he's pretty cool and we've been going to him for several years. He's pretty mainstream though and might say because he's not directly caring for me during pregnancy/birth that he doesn't feel "comfortable" or something. It's worth a try though.

 

These issues are the ones I stress about -- not a healthy mama or baby, this bureaucratic nonsense.

 

Thanks again!

post #28 of 240
Thread Starter 


Absolutely! I think our intuition/instincts are one way God does speak to our hearts/minds which is why I think mainstream society tries to squelch it but that's another convo lol...I absolutely believe God will never leave or forsake me and I would "know" if emergency care was needed. I just trust that His will be done, that's why I am working through some fears.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by grcelizabeth View Post

THe other part I believe is that if it's God's will to have the baby born via C/S or some type of complication where emergency care is needed, then He'll speak to you to head to the hospital. Whether you want to think it's intuition or God, either way we need to greatly believe in listening to ourselves. thumb.gif
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tumble Bumbles View Post

 

Quote:
 I see that you're a Christian so I tell you my philosophy is that the ONLY savior of birth is THE SAVIOR himself. It's His will no matter what. I don't know if that helps, but either way.... just have faith in your body, baby, intuition, and your Savior.
 

 

  I completely agree. That's what I believe as well which is part of what's leading me to UC. There can be a team of doctors and if The Lord wants to take our babe home, that's what's going to happen. On the other hand, if God has it in His plan for a healthy babe, it's going to happen right here. I totally believe in God's sovereignty. Thanks for the encouragement.


 
post #29 of 240

I'll be UCing this time too.

 

I've considered hiring a mw or private birth attendant and I think I've come to a good decision about that. We are going to have someone come, but not until after the birth. It might be my sister, or it might be someone we hire (we have someone in mind) or both.  This post-birth person will do stuff like take some family pics, empty the tub, feed me, help my kids if needed...

 

I originally wanted someone present for the labour and birth but I'm changing my mind about that.  I just can't think of a way to have my need for privacy met with someone else around.  I don't trust that I will be able to tell them what I want/need.  I think I will keep the option open to call the person sooner if needed (for the kids especially) but not plan it.  

 

I will do a lot more prep with dh this time, so he is able to be there for me without too much stress.  We had a prenatal with a private birth attendant a couple weeks ago and she was able to answer some of his questions which was nice.  She showed him and the kids the film Birth in the Squatting Position which was great for them.  I realized that I had never taken his fears really seriously when we UC'd ds, and I hope nothing comes up that he won't be prepared for!  Last time our ds's head was in the caul, and it freaked dh out since he didn't know what it was or that it was okay.

 

Kawa: I think if you are pretty sure you will UC, I would hire the hb OB.  If you have to go to the hospital for anything, you might be glad to have an OB, and if you decide to UC it won't matter if he's no help at the birth.  If you're really not sure if you will UC or not, you might want to go with the more helpful MWs.

post #30 of 240
Thread Starter 

Welcome weliveintheforest! Great to have you here :)

post #31 of 240

hello mamas,

 

i would like to join you all and really value this discussion. here is a little about where i'm at with UC...

 

due to some pretty complicated birth experiences with our other children, my dh and i are not 100% comfortable (he even less than me) with a home birth, let alone a UC. one of our twins (second born) had a prolapsed cord and i ended up with an emergency c-s. with our daughter, my water bag broke at 33 weeks and i ended up in the hospital on bedrest for two weeks before delivering peacefully and naturally with our midwife at 35 weeks. we are 40 minutes away from a hospital, and at this time "plan" to birth at a birthing center about the same distance away with our midwife, the same CNM who helped deliver our daughter 10 years ago.

 

however, with this babe, i have from the beginning been imagining laboring in my big jacuzzi tub, and all my envisioning about the birth is in my room at home. i have begun to speak out loud that i would like to labor at home as long as possible, and maybe even longer, until i just deliver the baby here, and not bother going all the way to the birth center. i keep thinking "i can do this by myself. i don't need to go all the way to the birth center just to push out our baby". i checked out emergency childbirth from the library, and also find myself here in this tribe, wanting to be surrounded by women who are making the choice to birth at home unassisted. i recently met up with a woman who gave me her fetoscope (via freecycle), and she told me her story of UC just a week earlier. it was so inspiring!

 

i still have some fears that i want to look at, and i still have my dh to discuss with. i'm not sure he would ever be willing to plan a UC, but perhaps would be willing to go with it if we were prepared for it and things were moving fast. i also would consider having a doula be here with us during labor at home (an objective guide...) or a midwife on-call who'd be willing to come if we needed help. ironically, my MW lives in the same town as we do. i am going to ask her if she'd be willing to come to our home if things moved along very quickly and we didn't have time to get to the birth center, but i don't know if she is legally allowed to do that.

 

thanks for reading! :)

 

xo

 

 

post #32 of 240

Welcome BHappy! I see that you are in the Santa Cruz Mtns, which are in California, right? If so, here is a basic summary of the Cali laws regarding midwifery. http://www.medbd.ca.gov/allied/midwives.html  A licensed MW (which includes CNMs) can attend home births legally so yours can be at your home and assist in the birth of your baby.

 

I started this pregnancy out with the idea that I would be giving birth in a hospital, attended by CNMs. However, like you, the more I thought about the birth and what it would look like and how it would feel I realized that I was in my home. I am having a really hard time envisioning the birth anywhere but in my bedroom, with occasional forays into my shower.

 

I am still seeing my MWs, but planning for a UBAC unless there is some other valid medical issue that arises between now and the birth that would prompt me to be in a hospital. I think that preparing yourselves mentally, physically and emotionally is a great way to go about deciding if you really want to UC. I think that birth often has fear involved because it is such a big life transformation, and big changes come with some level of fear and excitement.

 

We're glad to have you here!

post #33 of 240
Thread Starter 

Welcome Bhappy! I'm so glad you're here. I can imagine it's quite scary after having had an emergency c-section and also having had your water break so early with your second pregnancy (3rd child)  and to fully trust the process. Heck, I don't know if I even fully trust the process 100% yet and I had an uneventful home birth, ya' know? I'm still mulling over the midwife even though in my heart I'm a UC'er.

 

I love the birth you are envisioning! That' shaping up to be a common theme in unassisted birthing -- the mama just ~sees~ the birth and can't shake the image of birthing alone or just with her partner and it snowballs from there. Fortunately, you have several months to come to a decision because it's never over until the baby is actually here! lol

 

Whatever you decide, we're here to support each other and I'm looking forward to many more discussions with all of you before the time comes!

 

 

 

post #34 of 240

Welcome BHappy!

post #35 of 240
Thread Starter 

Well, score another point for the UC side of things. I was just reading the guidelines for checking fetal heart tones during labor in my state (for midwives at home births) and holy gosh golly do they have to get up in your business A LOT. Ugh, I so don't want a doppler shoved on my abdomen every 5 minutes during pushing, every 15 minutes during transition etc. Granted, I'm sure many midwives will be a bit loose and free with those numbers but it just opens the door for more interventions.

 

post #36 of 240

i probably won't uc but i want to give support to everyone who plans to or thinks they might. i think about it a lot but so far i like my midwife so much this time arround i think it might be nice to have her there.

post #37 of 240
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tumble Bumbles View Post

Well, score another point for the UC side of things. I was just reading the guidelines for checking fetal heart tones during labor in my state (for midwives at home births) and holy gosh golly do they have to get up in your business A LOT. Ugh, I so don't want a doppler shoved on my abdomen every 5 minutes during pushing, every 15 minutes during transition etc. Granted, I'm sure many midwives will be a bit loose and free with those numbers but it just opens the door for more interventions.

 



This is one of the areas that I have a hard time with, too.  My HB midwife said that she listens to the heartbeat during every transition contraction??!!!  She said we could 'discuss' this if I was opposed to it.  I don't feel a discussion in necessary - its my body and if I say no, then its no - simple as that.  

 

I just don't want to have to fight with anyone for less intervention.  And I really don't want an audience, either!!

post #38 of 240
Thread Starter 


Oh what a pet peeve of mine too, the ol' "we'll discuss that".  Pfft. No is a full sentence, but yeah you shouldn't have to feel like you're fighting for your say. You've got a great attitude about it and that's how it should go .Every contraction during transition? That's the time you most want to either die, go to the hospital, or punch someone in the face lol For me, transition was when I wanted people OFF me the most.

 

 I read a quote today that I absolutely loved (I've been doing a ton of research/reading today). She said:

 "What I want most for moms is to support their complete control in their birth. I want them to know that they don’t need me. They don’t need to be rescued from this incredible journey. I want them to come away from their births NOT saying “I couldn’t have done it with...out you”, but rather “I DID IT!” - Alexandra Orchard

 

I hear so many women talk about their attending midwife as if she did all the work, they couldn't have "done it" without them, and I wonder how that feeling is different than feeling you avoided certain death were it not for your OB.  I get that many women feel a spiritual connection to their midwife and benefit from their experience/presence. It's too bad that many begin with the intention of empowering women but because of state regulations, liability, burn-out, fear of litigation etc they often become very medicalized and mainstream in their care.

 

I don't want an audience either. I told my best friend of 20 years (when explaining my desire for UC) that we've been best friends for two decades and she's never seen my vagina much less a head coming out of it, why in the world would I want a midwife, her assistant (who I don't care for) AND a student all gawking at me? I know it felt odd to me last time, but I hadn't had the experience before so I just chalked it up to "first time mom" or whatever.


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by tracymom1 View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by Tumble Bumbles View Post

Well, score another point for the UC side of things. I was just reading the guidelines for checking fetal heart tones during labor in my state (for midwives at home births) and holy gosh golly do they have to get up in your business A LOT. Ugh, I so don't want a doppler shoved on my abdomen every 5 minutes during pushing, every 15 minutes during transition etc. Granted, I'm sure many midwives will be a bit loose and free with those numbers but it just opens the door for more interventions.

 



This is one of the areas that I have a hard time with, too.  My HB midwife said that she listens to the heartbeat during every transition contraction??!!!  She said we could 'discuss' this if I was opposed to it.  I don't feel a discussion in necessary - its my body and if I say no, then its no - simple as that.  

 

I just don't want to have to fight with anyone for less intervention.  And I really don't want an audience, either!!

post #39 of 240

I keep meaning to respond to this thread and never do. Or have I? It's all a blur .... lol. Anyway I am 18 weeks pregnant and basically since my last home birth, DH and I new this one would be a UP/UC. So, because he is so on board, and I feel so good about things, it's been just super fun and relaxing so far. And this pregnancy has been ssoooooooo easy. DH and I are in a really good place, so yeah, no complaints here. I can't believe I'm almost at the halfway mark! I guess that's what happens when you feel good and you're chasing little people around all day, lol. I had a really special dream a few weeks or months ago that was basically my successful, peaceful, happy freebirth at home. Very vidid. I remember mostly being by myself, going back and fourth from being in the bath tub, to being on the bed, and my DH would come in to check on me, he was taking care of our toddler when he wasn't with me. Anyway, I kneeled on the bed, kind of upright and out came the baby. I caught it, and the process of it coming out was pain free, just like with my last. I scooped it up, and Kent came in. We were so happy I think we both started crying. Very sweet, I remember being all awwww, at how small newborns are. I didn't get a glance in between the legs, but the dream has had a calming influence on me. Like all will be fine with this one, so I'm just trying to relax as much as possible with a toddler. I really don't want to be in the city this summer, so I'm hoping I'll be near the beach.

post #40 of 240
Thread Starter 

Edited.


Edited by Tumble Bumbles - 4/10/11 at 5:59pm
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