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Strongly Considering a UC in June '11 Tribe...support only please! - Page 5

post #81 of 240
Thread Starter 

Thanks for the info -- I still feel all flustered.

 

She also claimed someone "had" to be there besides me and my husband, even if they weren't a midwife in order to "verify" the baby was actually born to me which to my understanding is *not* true.

post #82 of 240
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tumble Bumbles View Post

Thanks for the info -- I still feel all flustered.

 

She also claimed someone "had" to be there besides me and my husband, even if they weren't a midwife in order to "verify" the baby was actually born to me which to my understanding is *not* true.



Of course there is much misunderstanding of UC. What she told you is not true and in my state my dh can write a letter verifying that the baby was born from me. Try to let it go as baby isn't coming for quite a bit and it isn't something you can work on today. They cannot deny baby a birth cert irregardless of where baby was born or in what manner.

post #83 of 240

Tumbles~ I'm sorry she treated you that way. I'm not sure what you need for your state to prove it is your baby. Here we need two signed affidavits by anyone stating that I'm pregnant (my midwife friends are doing this) and then a letter by a doc. once baby is born that it is my child. Mamatoabunch obviously has done this many times so she knows a lot about it. Every state is different so I'm not sure what you need, but try not to get down. It will all work out and CPS won't come after you. joy.gif

post #84 of 240
Thread Starter 

Thanks mamas, I feel much better. I guess I was all flustered because we have not told anyone about our plans except people we trust and know would never bring about any emotional harm/concern to us or our family. I felt all vulnerable 'putting it out there'. The lady was actually very nice, I didn't get any hostility or judgment from her per se, just felt sort of like she was 'sizing me up' if you will.

 

I'm admittedly a type A'ish get-all-my-ducks-in-a-row type of person and I know I need to chill about the bureaucratic aspects of it. I mean, worst case scenario they can do a DNA test to 'prove' it's my child orngtongue.gif.

 

Sometimes I do feel quite guarded because we do so many things that go against the grain of what's considered "normal" 'round these parts, but I am praying and calling upon the peace of Christ to surround me and protect me from anyone or anything (including myself) who may disturb my faith or peace in the situation.

 

So grateful to have a place to get these things out and women with whom to share this experience with, so thanks again.

post #85 of 240
With my last home birth, I had an illegal DEM there, so for all intents and purposes, according to the county we had a UC. She could not do anything with regards to the birth certificate. So after DD was born, I took her to my (very, very homebirth friendly) family practice doc and he wrote me a letter that said "Kaya Rose was born at home on July 20th 2009 and is in good health" I called the vital stat office and said that I had a baby born at home without anyone present except for my husband. About 4 phone calls, numerous transfers, and several hours of my time they sent out the "packet" which included very, very clear instructions as to what to include when applying for a birth certificate. I filled it out to the best of my ability and low and behold!! 8 weeks later a birth certificate showed up at our house!! I have to say even I was amazed that it actually came without any hassle other than the initial phone call mess.

I say put it out of your mind for now and just revisit the issue once the baby is here. I know that in my county you have 3 months from the date of birth to apply for the BC before they "will investigate" the accuracy of the situation. Everything will work out, mama!! I know you want to plan and get everything in order, but sometimes you just have to sit back and go with the flow! My favorite Jewish prayer is called the Shehecheyanu (that's a mouthful!!) and it simply says: Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the Universe, who has granted us life, sustained us and enabled us to reach this occasion.

How blessed we are to be right here, right now! Deep breath and big, big exhale!! Peace, TB!!!
post #86 of 240

I had an easy time getting the borth cert and ss card also.  I just took baby down to health department, filled out the form for the birth cert, stated that DH delivered (they didnt need a reason why) and had to have another person with me to sign as a witness that they were there during the birth. (my mom did it first time, DH second homebirth)  I too had an illegal DEM so that was our route. 

 

All I needed was a bill from the month before the birth and after showing I lived in that county at time of birth, and my ID, and DH there with his ss card and ID since he was going to be on the birth cert but we werent married at the time.  They printed it out right there, and SS card came in the mail later.

 

So easy.  I wish it was that easy everywhere for all the other mamas.

 

It does help to call your local health dept to find out ahead of time what you wil need. 

post #87 of 240

I am very type A as well, but w/ many children and having the experience of several UC's it is getting stamped out of me 

post #88 of 240
Thread Starter 

Thanks so much mamas -- I'm taking your wise advice and just not worrying about it at all. It's not helpful at all to stress over it. The kid's gonna get a birth certificate one way or another lol

 

 

Quote:
 Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the Universe, who has granted us life, sustained us and enabled us to reach this occasion.

 

 Tracy that is a beautiful prayer. I think I may include that in the birth scriptures/prayers/affirmations that I'll have on hand during labor :)

 

 

 

Quote:
 

I am very type A as well, but w/ many children and having the experience of several UC's it is getting stamped out of me  

 

Annabelle, believe it or not I am so much more mellow than I used to be (scary thought haha). I wish I had the benefit of soon-to-be 8 UCs under my belt (no pun intended orngtongue.gif )! You know your our UC rock star though... and we're so blessed to have your insight and experience!

 

Thanks again for your wisdom, advice and encouragement mamas!

post #89 of 240

One more bump on postpartum cytotec ... It is great as UC mamas to be prepared. I think pp cytotec is great because there is nothing to draw up or inject. Just to mention, best route is rectally and when you are pp and bleeding it might be hard to do that yourself, so let your DPs get familiar with that part of your body (if they aren't already lol) so that they can be sure where to put it. We use a little bit of jelly and make sure its up high enough (past sphincter) not to get pushed out. I have seen between 600-1000mcg used. They come in 200 mcg tablets and are very small, be careful not to lose them after you take them out of the packet.

 

Re feeling dizzy, there might be a delay between your blood loss and when you start feeling dizzy. How we gauge blood loss (harder to do if you are in a tub obviously), is after the placenta, you can saturate one towel, but after getting cleaned up your fundus should be nice and firm, below your belly button and not too many more gushes. A real postpartum hemorrhage (which I have unfortunately seen a number of times) looks like water pouring out of a faucet. I think they're way less likely at home anyway, all the meds we give in the hospital increase the risk by a lot.

 

Good things to think about, I'm sure none of you will have to worry :)

post #90 of 240
Thread Starter 

Wow Junebug2011 thanks so much for your experience and information! :)

post #91 of 240

Of course :)

post #92 of 240
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mamatoabunch View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by Tumble Bumbles View Post

Ugh. I called the vital statistics office to order this mythical "home birth packet" they say they provide on their website. The woman tells me it doesn't exist and that my midwife will take care of everything. So I had to sort of allude to the fact that we may not have a midwife and while she was very, very nice about it all, I got the sense that she was taking so much time talking to me in order to suss out whether I was a menace to society who was endangering my future child or not. I tried to come across as very well-spoken and informed, but I felt all nervous. I didn't give her any information, but now I'm a bit paranoid that they can somehow get CPS involved based solely on my cell phone (I said I was paranoid lol).  She was really pushing the option of having a health nurse come out after the baby is born to verify the birth took place in my county etc (for the birth certificate). Now I feel all vulnerable and 'out there' -- even though this is a legal (albeit unusual and frowned upon) option. I asked her how long it's been since they had someone unassisted and she said a long, long time. She said if I brought baby to vital statistics rather than having a health nurse come out that the health dept doctor would be "required" to look at him anyway. Ugh.

 

Someone talk me down please lol



The "HB packet" won't be mailed to you in most states, never heard of anyone getting anything until baby arrived, until after your baby arrives and they confirm an actual baby exists. A ped note, baptism cert, or something else. It is the actual form that a midwife or dr/hospital would fill out. They can't just mail it out b/c then anyone could request one to get a false identity to acquire a false ss# to apply for credit. Just call after baby arrives, I promise it will be pretty simplistic and no one will be sent to your house. I don't take baby to ped so we use our baptismal cert. We baptize baby very soon after birth. I know that isn't an option for everyone.



So if you pee in a cup at planned parenthood during the pregnancy do you still need to see a ped or get a baptism cert after the baby is born?

post #93 of 240

These are things I've gotten so far, I can't believe I'm on the four month count down! Crazy! 

 

~Two extra sheets from salvation army to put on top of a shower curtain liner on the bed.

~Placenta out.

~Shepherd's purse, hemhalt.

~Fish scale. I have a wrap shorty on the way to use as the sling part.

~Post partum domino cloth pads.

~I have a good pair of sewing scissors for the cord. I'll just boil them when labors begun.

~Blessingway beads to bring good luck and protection to our house. I think I'll hang them throughout the house.

~Various stones that I believe in as well.

~I bought some of the newborn cotton beanies.

~Arnica ointment just in case for postpartum.

~Herbs for an herbal bath. Peri bottle in case I want to use it.

~Golden salve for healing just in case I want it.

~I also braided some pretty sewing thread in case I want to tie the cord before we cut it. Probably pointless since we wait so long to cut it but it's pretty! lol.

 

A lot of the things on my list are for "just in case". I may get some super super soft towels to have specifically for us to cuddle with when babe is born. Other than that we have a soft tape measurer for babe's length, and we have a bowl I'll just grab then to put the placenta in. Oh, we also still need a hot water bottle. Simple stuff but I like making lists! :-) 

post #94 of 240
Thread Starter 

Love it OrangeMoon! I don't have anything really, but I am constantly making mental lists. Your list looks really good and sounds like the kind of things we'll have on hand too. In place of the stones/beads I am going to print out some verses/scripture/pictures to put in my birthing space (or at least near the pool where I believe I'll at least labor for a while) for inspiration/protection.

 

I'm also putting together a one page sheet for hubby to remember in labor in case he gets flustered or in case I'm more comfortable laboring/birthing alone so he'll have productive things to do for me lol.gif I think he'll really appreciate that too, he is a 'list' person. It would also be hints for myself as well, tips like a spoonful of honey helping to bring energy back up, or a cup of salty broth helping after labor to perk mama up if she's lost blood. Little suggestions for support, stuff like that.

 

I also feel so much better about the whole birth certificate process. For me, I have a "proof" of pregnancy because I had some prenatal care before letting my midwife go. I also made copies of the statues for my state dealing with how to register a birth with no attendant and got the facts. I know exactly what we need now. For example, the vital statistics lady told me the health dept doctor would "have to look the baby over" when we brought him in. NOT TRUE! According to the statutes in my state one of the options is "presenting" the baby with the parents (basically, bringing the babe with you to show there is indeed a baby and no one's running a scam) but no one is authorized to touch, examine, otherwise "look over" the baby. I think having info is important because if I didn't know, I might get scared/flustered. Also, she told me someone other than myself and my husband HAD to WITNESS the actual birth and sign a statement saying so. NOT TRUE. I need two statements of anyone who "knew of the circumstances of my birth" either prior to, or immediately after birth. So, my mom and friend will just do that even if they're not here, easy peasy. Unfortunately, I am going to have to jump through those hoops because the people at vital statistics are absolutely clueless to what to do for planned UC (as evidenced by my conversation with the woman). So, it will take me bringing copies of the actual statutes and so on as to not get any guff. I'm okay with that though, I expect it to go extremely smoothly.

 

I could avoid all that by having a health department nurse come here to "confirm" the birth but no way, no how am I having anyone in my home from the state. Call me a tin foil hat wearer, I'm just not doing it lol It would make me feel extremely uncomfortable.

 

I also want to print out a transfer plan just in case, mostly for the baby (no vax, no circ, etc) because if I transfer (God forbid) it will likely be for something pretty serious. Then I'll just put that away and not think of it again :)

post #95 of 240

can't help with the legal particulars but can add some insight for the PPH concerns and what blood loss looks like

 

I had a very good instructor for my paramedic license use a simple tool to judge blood loss...we poured a can of soda in the bottom of a tub with the drain down (so it can't drain) this gives you a visual idea of what it looks like on the ground, you can try something like this on a towel too if you like...this little lesson taught me when NOT to panic in cases of blood loss

 

I went to a call once where a guy had half heartedly slit one of his wrists in the bathtub ..it was a totally superficial wound but it really looked like someone had been gutted in the tub...lol..the first responders panicked like crazy but my partner and I didn't. for the UCers pay very careful attn if you can and you start to get worried to your heart rate and BP (you can take your own BP but it takes some practice) and go with your instincts about how you feel. People have very good intuition when things are just going awry with themseleves and this feeling should be respected.

 

also...I don't know if this is against TOS but herblore has premade tinctures, one for PPH even that are very reasonably priced and I can attest from using them that shipping is VERY quick.I like herbs a lot but can't be bothered with making my own tinctures.

post #96 of 240

I would love to print out this states rules on the birth cert/social for UC. May I ask where you found that stuff? You don't live in NY by any chance do you? lol.

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tumble Bumbles View Post

Love it OrangeMoon! I don't have anything really, but I am constantly making mental lists. Your list looks really good and sounds like the kind of things we'll have on hand too. In place of the stones/beads I am going to print out some verses/scripture/pictures to put in my birthing space (or at least near the pool where I believe I'll at least labor for a while) for inspiration/protection.

 

I'm also putting together a one page sheet for hubby to remember in labor in case he gets flustered or in case I'm more comfortable laboring/birthing alone so he'll have productive things to do for me lol.gif I think he'll really appreciate that too, he is a 'list' person. It would also be hints for myself as well, tips like a spoonful of honey helping to bring energy back up, or a cup of salty broth helping after labor to perk mama up if she's lost blood. Little suggestions for support, stuff like that.

 

I also feel so much better about the whole birth certificate process. For me, I have a "proof" of pregnancy because I had some prenatal care before letting my midwife go. I also made copies of the statues for my state dealing with how to register a birth with no attendant and got the facts. I know exactly what we need now. For example, the vital statistics lady told me the health dept doctor would "have to look the baby over" when we brought him in. NOT TRUE! According to the statutes in my state one of the options is "presenting" the baby with the parents (basically, bringing the babe with you to show there is indeed a baby and no one's running a scam) but no one is authorized to touch, examine, otherwise "look over" the baby. I think having info is important because if I didn't know, I might get scared/flustered. Also, she told me someone other than myself and my husband HAD to WITNESS the actual birth and sign a statement saying so. NOT TRUE. I need two statements of anyone who "knew of the circumstances of my birth" either prior to, or immediately after birth. So, my mom and friend will just do that even if they're not here, easy peasy. Unfortunately, I am going to have to jump through those hoops because the people at vital statistics are absolutely clueless to what to do for planned UC (as evidenced by my conversation with the woman). So, it will take me bringing copies of the actual statutes and so on as to not get any guff. I'm okay with that though, I expect it to go extremely smoothly.

 

I could avoid all that by having a health department nurse come here to "confirm" the birth but no way, no how am I having anyone in my home from the state. Call me a tin foil hat wearer, I'm just not doing it lol It would make me feel extremely uncomfortable.

 

I also want to print out a transfer plan just in case, mostly for the baby (no vax, no circ, etc) because if I transfer (God forbid) it will likely be for something pretty serious. Then I'll just put that away and not think of it again :)

 


PPH is probably my absolute last worry. It's so rare with home births.

post #97 of 240

FWIW my PCP actually suggested an "oops" birth at home ...lol

 

my husband said uhmm, not a chance in h*ll ..my PCP says.." yeah thats how that conversation went in my house too " and her husband is a DR as well...

 

she had a terrible hospital birth experience with her second..and shes a DR

and so did the nurse practitioner in her office

post #98 of 240
Quote:
Originally Posted by OrangeMoon View Post

I would love to print out this states rules on the birth cert/social for UC. May I ask where you found that stuff? You don't live in NY by any chance do you? lol.

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tumble Bumbles View Post

Love it OrangeMoon! I don't have anything really, but I am constantly making mental lists. Your list looks really good and sounds like the kind of things we'll have on hand too. In place of the stones/beads I am going to print out some verses/scripture/pictures to put in my birthing space (or at least near the pool where I believe I'll at least labor for a while) for inspiration/protection.

 

I'm also putting together a one page sheet for hubby to remember in labor in case he gets flustered or in case I'm more comfortable laboring/birthing alone so he'll have productive things to do for me lol.gif I think he'll really appreciate that too, he is a 'list' person. It would also be hints for myself as well, tips like a spoonful of honey helping to bring energy back up, or a cup of salty broth helping after labor to perk mama up if she's lost blood. Little suggestions for support, stuff like that.

 

I also feel so much better about the whole birth certificate process. For me, I have a "proof" of pregnancy because I had some prenatal care before letting my midwife go. I also made copies of the statues for my state dealing with how to register a birth with no attendant and got the facts. I know exactly what we need now. For example, the vital statistics lady told me the health dept doctor would "have to look the baby over" when we brought him in. NOT TRUE! According to the statutes in my state one of the options is "presenting" the baby with the parents (basically, bringing the babe with you to show there is indeed a baby and no one's running a scam) but no one is authorized to touch, examine, otherwise "look over" the baby. I think having info is important because if I didn't know, I might get scared/flustered. Also, she told me someone other than myself and my husband HAD to WITNESS the actual birth and sign a statement saying so. NOT TRUE. I need two statements of anyone who "knew of the circumstances of my birth" either prior to, or immediately after birth. So, my mom and friend will just do that even if they're not here, easy peasy. Unfortunately, I am going to have to jump through those hoops because the people at vital statistics are absolutely clueless to what to do for planned UC (as evidenced by my conversation with the woman). So, it will take me bringing copies of the actual statutes and so on as to not get any guff. I'm okay with that though, I expect it to go extremely smoothly.

 

I could avoid all that by having a health department nurse come here to "confirm" the birth but no way, no how am I having anyone in my home from the state. Call me a tin foil hat wearer, I'm just not doing it lol It would make me feel extremely uncomfortable.

 

I also want to print out a transfer plan just in case, mostly for the baby (no vax, no circ, etc) because if I transfer (God forbid) it will likely be for something pretty serious. Then I'll just put that away and not think of it again :)

 


PPH is probably my absolute last worry. It's so rare with home births.



perhaps...but why not be prepared for all possible events

post #99 of 240
Quote:
Originally Posted by OrangeMoon View Post



So if you pee in a cup at planned parenthood during the pregnancy do you still need to see a ped or get a baptism cert after the baby is born?


First you do not have to do anything. Your baby cannot be denied a birth cert regardless of whether you have a proof of pregnancy, etc. Peeing in a cup proves a pregnancy, it does not prove a lie baby resulted in that pregnancy. It depends on your state what they come up at the time that is proof that baby exists. And believe they will change, LOL. So you must be pushy sometimes.

post #100 of 240
Quote:Originally Posted by Tumble Bumbles View Post

 

 

I'm also putting together a one page sheet for hubby to remember in labor in case he gets flustered or in case I'm more comfortable laboring/birthing alone so he'll have productive things to do for me lol.gif I think he'll really appreciate that too, he is a 'list' person. It would also be hints for myself as well, tips like a spoonful of honey helping to bring energy back up, or a cup of salty broth helping after labor to perk mama up if she's lost blood. Little suggestions for support, stuff like that.

 

I do the same for dh every time. I have a lost like 1. Turn up water heater 2. etc and then a list like if my water is broken give me vit c every two hours and other stuff.

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