What do you do when "sometimes I hate myself"?

[StephandOwen]

DS has started saying this over the past few months. It is usually right after something happens that he can't seem to control. Tonight it was because he apparently had an image in his head of something scary (he wouldn't tell me what it was other than it was on a preview for a movie). We tried talking through it, I laid down in bed with him, etc. But he kept saying he couldn't get the movie out of his head so he started beating on his head "maybe I can knock the thoughts out if I hit my head really hard". When I held his hands so he couldn't do that he freaked out, screaming and crying about how he hates himself After he calmed down a little he said that he hates himself when he can't get thoughts out of his head.

Other times where he's said it have been when he's having a hard time doing something, especially writing (an area he really struggles in). He'll freak out and melt down saying that he hates himself because he "can't do anything right".

I'm stuck. What do I do? Obviously I try to comfort him (which doesn't work). I try telling him that DH and I love him very much (which seems to frustrate him even more). I try just being there with him while he works through his emotions (sometimes works but sometimes he just gets more frustrated). Tonight he told me that sometimes when he hates himself he cries in his room, alone Nothing like ripping a mamas heart in half

[Linda on the move]

He's 7, right?

Does he like to make art? For some kids, expressing feelings with color, paint, clay etc. is very theraputic. We've done different things at different ages. Play dough was great for a long time, and now my DD likes to color mandalas when she's upset.

Does he like to do physical things? For some kids, hitting something (a pillow, a punching bag, etc.) can help release strong feelings. For some kids, jumping on a trampoline or going for a bike ride help get their brain going a different direction.

If this is more problematic at certain times, may be we could help you brain storm other options. For a long time, my DD listened to books on tape while she was falling asleep at night (often the same books over and over). It gave her brain something different to do and calmed her down. May be putting some soft music on would help.

What is he good at? What does he enjoy? For my DD for a long time, it was swimming. She loved swimming and the fact that she was on swim team and had a team suit, ribbons, etc. made her feel very successful, even when huge chunks of "normal kid life" were things that she did not feel successful with.

I'm so sorry that you guys are going through this.

[Emmeline II]

My son (nearly 7) has tried to knock thoughts out of his head in the past, but it is rare now.

Personally, I would get an evaluation with a psychiatrist and ask for a referral for CBT. I feel like I recommend that a lot but it seems like parents often struggle for a long time before getting help. You may end up doing a lot of things the pp suggested but you would have specialists to discuss his issues with and help evaluate the effectiveness of therapies you try. Even though I don't think that the first (family) therapist we tried helped ds, it was helpful for us to have someone to discuss ds' issues with and we did eliminate some things as causing ds' behavior.