Beyond Picky, attention seeking or physical problem I should have check out?

[Momjong]

My 20 month old son has NEVER had an easy time when it comes to eating. From birth it was acid reflux, to which the Dr. prescribed Zantac and soy milk. At 12 months old we were told to have him come off and noticed that the vomiting had stopped even without the Zantac so we were relieved. We moved on to babyfoods, first fruits, then veggies, meats and desserts. He would literally only eat turkey, sweet potato, pears and sweet corn. This went on from about 6 months to 12 months. We've been trying table food since 12 months since he absolutely refuses baby food now. I've tried everything I can think of:

Pastina, soups, oatmeal, farina, mashed potatoes, corn, eggs, sweet potatos, chicken nuggets, fries, carrots, cheese, yogurt, etc. You name it, we've tried it. This kid will not eat the same thing twice, he absolutely hates textures. If it's small he spits it out, if it's crusty or soggy types of food he chokes and then shoves his fingers down his throat to induce vomiting. He is not partial to any one type of texture or food, it seems to be, forgive the expression, a crap shoot at meal times for us. I've seen him go an entire 24 hour period on just soy milk and goldfish and they were offered as a last resort. I've been known to make 6 meals for him in one sitting.

Fruit is iffy with him, he'll ask for a banana, bite it only if I give it to him in the skin and then leave half of it on the table. We cannot cut it up and offer it in a bowl, he throws it. He won't eat in a highchair either, if he does eat dinner lets say, it MUST be on my lap and off my plate and only then will he eat half of my portion of meat, no starch, no veggie!

BTW, he's hitting all his milestones, shows no signs of developmental issues or problems, is overly verbal and is already singing parts of the alphabet song. He's still on soy milk, about 16 oz per day, but he is only 33.5 inches tall and weighs 23 pounds! I am really nervous about his weight, he's below the 5th percentile although his blood test say he's healthy. His doctor just doesn't understand how bad the eating situation is no matter how much I explain and tells me it's my fault because I don't lock him in the chair and let him get hungry enough. I've counted his caloric intake in one day and it never exceeds 1000 calories. He must be burning 3 times that by playing.

Please, some one tell me what's going on here! What the heck am I supposed to do?

[mckittre]

No tips on the eating, but I'm not sure the weight itself is a problem.  My 23 month old is smaller, but is healthy and eats fine. 

[NevadaMama]

Have you tried making him a smoothie? If he doesn't have a problem drinking I would give it a shot, I know it's not a long-term solution but maybe if he gets used to the taste of something in liquid form he'll be more open to it later when you try to give it as a solid. I think at this point you should try to do whatever possible to get his weight up, even if it means delaying solids for a little bit longer.

[crunchy_mommy]

You know what, I wrote up a whole post but I don't think it's what you want to hear.

I think you should just listen to your instincts. If you think he just needs more time to start eating better, then just relax about it & keep offering. If you think something is really wrong, then contact Early Intervention -- they will evaluate him, at no cost to you, and you can go from there.

None of those things would particularly worry me -- including the weight, my DS is the same size -- but only you have the 'whole picture'... Trust your gut. 

[Courtney-Ostaff]

Ditto what crunchy-mommy said.  Find a pediatric dietician, find a different pediatrician.  You cannot force your child to eat.  If he won't eat it, then there are issues, and it's not just you. Self-inducing vomiting is a scary, scary thing.  Severe food allergies can be disguised as acid reflux.  There are "predigested" drinks for children with similar issues, where the proteins are broken down for easier digestion.  Also, I would caution to buy unsweetened soy milk, so that he doesn't fill up on empty calories.

[Courtney-Ostaff]

You may find this interesting:

http://kristinwartman.wordpress.com/2010/12/31/not-soy-fast/

[Momjong]

Thank you all for making me feel better about the eating problems. I also appreciate the reinforcement on the weight, which my Dr. says is an issue, but I am finding out that it isn't!! I did try smoothies, they were immediately spat out and the kid quivered for 2 minutes, LOL!!  I'm going to keep introducing new foods, but found out today that he prefers eating while travelling around the house and wants dinner in my lap. If that's the way it has to be, I guess I'll just wear most of my dinner and eat what's left cold .

Thanks again all! I think I can feel better now.

[MommyMaven]

Wow this all sounds so familiar. DD is 3, too skinny, beyond picky AND allergic to many foods. (Dairy, eggs, fish, peanuts, nuts, mustard, lentils, and more...) She eats maybe 10 foods. I try new ones every so often, and then I try them again some time later, and she just doesn't like them, plus the allergies.. Did you take your son to an allergist? That might explain some of the picky-ness. Sometimes it's impossible and I give her whatever she wants, as long as it has calories. (Some foods she does eat - pasta, chicken, cheerios) One healthy food that I got her to eat was sweet potatoes, by mashing them and adding cinnamon and sugar. Thank G-d!

I have her watch a video or TV. Then while she is distracted I feed her. I have received criticism for this, but when a child is underweight all other considerations are not as important as getting food inside them! And we give her tasty children's chewable vitamins with iron. (Just one a day.)

Hope this helps you!

[belltree]

Kids eat very different amounts and are all healthy. I remember my brother and his cousin, which was about the same age. My brother would eat at age two 3 slices of bread for breakfast with meats and butter and cheese, my cousin barely managed 1/2 a slice of bread. From the WHO growth standards he also does not seem to skinny (15% of his length are lighter: http://www.who.int/childgrowth/standards/cht_wfl_boys_p_0_2.pdf). Some kids eat twice as much as others do and still grow well.

Also, I found, that counting calories per day is not really helpful, if I average over 1-2 weeks however, it is not as bad. I found the following book very helpful: http://www.amazon.com/My-Child-Wont-Eat-International/dp/0912500999

That said, you need to decide yourself if you feel outside pressure, because your child needs to follow certain guidelines, or if something is really off.

[crunchierbytheday]

I have to agree with crunchy_mommy..  You have to trust your instincts.  My DS is 22 months, and we have had nothing but issues when it comes to food.  He was breastfed almost exclusively until he was 16 months.  We tried to get him to eat purees, but he just wouldn't do it.  I was worried about it, but everyone kept telling me he would eat when he was ready.  When he was 17 mo, we finally got him to eat purees, but he would only eat sweet potato.  At his 18 mo check up, his pediatrician recommending having him evaluated by an occupational therapist.  Our state has a good program that will do evaluations and then set you up with whoever you need at a very low cost.  As it turns out, DS has sensory issues.  He hates getting his hands and feet messy, and has had to overcome some serious texture issues.  We still have days where one day he will eat something and the next he won't.  But he has been working with an occupational therapist for 6 months now, and eating table food for the last three months.  His OT has absolutely been wonderful!  I am so glad I finally went with my instincts rather than listen to everyone else.  And I wouldn't worry about your DS' size..  My son is only about 32in and 25lbs. 

Oh, and if this helps at all...  When my son was evaluated, and then when he started to see his OT, they all asked about reflux.  Apparently if it was pretty severe it can have an impact on the whole starting solids process.. 

[rightkindofme]

I was an outrageously picky eater as a child (I strongly suspect that if I had been born 15 years later I would have been labeled with Sensory Processing Disorder) and I wouldn't eat much.  Now I eat a very balanced diet with awe inspiring (to me) variety.  Don't give up hope yet. :)  It did take till my late teens before I started being willing to try new foods though. :-\  I know that's a long wait and cold comfort now.  It's also worth thinking about the fact that there is a bell curve of weight-for-age because all kids are different.  People are not automatically unhealthy because they are a few standard deviations out. 

But!  As crunchy_mama says, go with your gut.  You know your kid way better than strangers on the internet (or the doctor for that matter).