Originally Posted by AllisonR
And I find this highly racist and offensive. And also incorrect. "women back in the kitchen" is completely contradictory to danish mentality. Janteloven, equality, socialism, you know? I grew up in the southern USA, and can use that as a reference to living in Denmark, where men and women work, and are paid, equally. The men are taking off work to be with their children,making dinner, picking up the kids, doing the shopping, changing diapers - all the "stereotypical female roles" I guarantee my DH does more than his 50% in all of the above, and he is not unique by any means.
I don't know what you mean by thick accent, but Danish people speak a ton of english, very well, so maybe this is something specific to your FILs voice?
Also, Denmark allows dual citizenship, it does so with many countries. It is the USA that has held up on allowing dual american/danish citizenship, and many, myself included, are still waiting for the USA to allow this. My children, being born in denmark of a danish father, but also having an american mother, have dual citizenship. But myself, an american, am denied. Denmark again allows dual citizenship, but to those countries like USA that prevent it, the age you must decide is 18. I do not know or remember if the USA makes you decide at 12 or 18.
Okay, wow. I'm sorry I've offended you. All I can think to say is that Denmark today (much like the US) must have been quite different than Denmark in the mid-1940's, when FIL grew up there, because this is the impression I get from DH's family. I've not visited Denmark myself (we can't afford it but would like to, for DS's sake). FIL and his contemporaries (according to him) did not take "off work to be with their children,making dinner, picking up the kids, doing the shopping, changing diapers." I'm glad to hear that Danish families are supported - sounds like way more parental support and equality than the US.
FIL did learn English, French, and German, as well as Danish, in school. That doesn't mean he can't have thick accent as well? And all I know about naturalization and citizenship is what my DH told me about his experience, which for him at age 12 was the early 80's. I guess either he's mistaken or the laws may have changed.
I thought it was pretty obvious that I have a lot of respect for my family's Danish heritage and that I wish we had more access to it. I was only trying to explain that I also have in-law relationship difficulties that I feel are at least partially due to different cultures. And so therefore identify with the OP and also offer another perspective on the "exotic-ness" issue.
I guess I've learned my lesson about forum-crashing. I'll butt out now and mind my own business. It was rude (and presumptuous) of me to think that I could offer the OP any reasonable perspective anyway. I'm sorry to you and anyone else I may have offended.