Book suggestions that are relevant for the under-one group?

[SilverFish]

I'm a SAHM mom of one 11 month old daughter. I am realizing, despite being a teacher (elementary age), I have little to no skills with parenting/discipline/behavior management for older babies and toddlers. I just don't even know where to start! I want to read a book or two that talk about this age group in particular, or that at least start there. DD is not the most challenging baby I know, but she is starting to push boundaries more and more each day, and I find I fall into a pattern of just saying NO! all the time, which I hate and is kind of pointless anyway. DH and I both need some practice now I think to get into more positive patterns so when we get to the really challenging ages we have something to work with. Right now we're mostly just dealing with roughness (pinching,scratching, grabbing), touching things she shouldn't,etc.

Any suggestions?

[happy1nluv]

i havent read this one but ive seen it recommended a lot

Emotional Life of the Toddler

http://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Life-Toddler-Alicia-Lieberman/dp/0028740173/ref=sr_1_cc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1294979888&sr=1-1-catcorr

its a tough age - bookwise.  it seems like the older they get the more parenting books abound...

[LynnS6]

I really like a book that's out of print called "Parenting with Purpose" by Lynda Madison. I like it because it separates out discipline for infants ("Crawlers") 1s ('Walkers'), 2s ('Talkers'), 3s and 4s. You can get used copies or many libraries have it.

She does suggest time outs for older children (3s and 4s), but only as a last resort. She also suggests that reward charts may work with some children. If you don't like time outs or rewards charts, ignore those parts. They're irrelevant for the age of your child anyway.

I like the book because it talks about what kids do developmentally at these ages in a way that's not technical. She talks about the need for commitment, respect and trustworthiness when teaching your children. She operates from the point of view that children are good, and that they should be able to fix their errors. Discipline is not punishment, it's teaching. But even better, it talks about how you can't just apply a 'technique', you have to know what your philosophy is and why you're doing something. She says that you need to evaluate what you're doing and if it feels wrong, don't do it.

This was extremely helpful to me when I was getting conflicting advice about timeouts. We'd done a Love & Logic class where they advocated putting your child in timeout and then making them stay there until they were quiet, AND THEN setting the timer for 5 minutes for the timeout. We tried this once or twice and it felt wrong. Very wrong. I thought about the Parenting with Purpose book and realized that my goal for timeout was to get my child to calm down and to give me space to calm down. Once they were calm and I was calm, they didn't need to stay in their room. We never did the extra 5 minutes again.

[pitchfork]

I really like "Adventures in Gentle Discipline" it is a very practical book, lots of hands on suggestions and thoughtful consideration of how different techniques may affect your child.

[Courtney-Ostaff]

Distraction is your friend.

I found all of these useful:

• Positive Discipline: The First Three Years: From Infant to Toddler--Laying the Foundation for Raising a Capable, Confident Child
• What's Going on in There? : How the Brain and Mind Develop in the First Five Years of Life by Lise Eliot
• Pink Brain, Blue Brain: How Small Differences Grow Into Troublesome Gaps -- And What We Can Do About It
• The Montessori Method
• NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children
• The Scientist in the Crib: What Early Learning Tells Us About the Mind by Alison Gopnik
• The Philosophical Baby: What Children's Minds Tell Us About Truth, Love, and the Meaning of Life 
• Why Love Matters: How Affection Shapes a Baby's Brain by Sue Gerhardt
• Our Babies, Ourselves: How Biology and Culture Shape the Way We Parent by Meredith F. Small
• Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves: Transforming parent-child relationships from reaction and struggle to freedom, power and joy by Naomi Aldort
• Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child The Heart of Parenting by John Gottman
• The Vital Touch: How Intimate Contact With Your Baby Leads To Happier, Healthier Development by Sharon Heller
• The Nursing Mother's Companion: Revised Edition by Kathleen Huggins
• Caring for Your Baby and Young Child, Revised Edition: Birth to Age 5 by American Academy Of Pediatrics
• What to Expect the First Year by Arlene Eisenberg
• The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding: Seventh Revised Edition (La Leche League International Book)
• The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two 
• Theories of Childhood: An Introduction to Dewey, Montessori, Erikson, Piaget & Vygotsky 
• Reading in the Brain: The New Science of How We Read
• Emotional Life of the Toddler
• A Toddler's Life: Becoming a Person
• Montessori from the Start: The Child at Home, from Birth to Age Three