So, random thoughts, now that I've read the whole thread:
1) I'm surprised by how many people here equate putting on make-up with "basic self-grooming". Even in the days when I wouldn't leave the house without the stuff, I didn't think of it as a basic grooming thing - I was just a bit neurotic. (Mind you, in those days, my make-up wasn't even remotely of the "well groomed" variety, anyway.) I like the look of eye make-up on myself, but dh doesn't care much, and I don't like the way it feels, so I only subject myself to it on very rare occasions. I don't like the feel of face makeup, except a little bit of powder blush, and I don't think the blush makes much difference in my looks, in any case. Lipstick...I don't really get lipstick. It doesn't stay on for crap. It looks worse than no make-up if it gets smeared or wears partly off. I just don't like it very much.
2) Daily showers. I don't know how anybody can stand to shower in the morning (both dh and ds1 do so, though). I can't stand it. I take a bath every other night. I see no reason at all to take a daily bath, unless I've been getting super sweaty or something. My hair also takes a long time to dry (it's long and it's thick), and I hate hair dryers of all kinds, so I wash it at night, and it's dry by the next day. Bathing/showering during the day feels really weird.
3) Different strokes, of course. I WAH for years, and had to wear a basic minimum level of professional dress (simple dress pants and a blouse/sweater were acceptable). I hated it, and I soooo looked forward to not having to dress like that, anymore. Aside from the time with my kids, the lack of expecttations over my clothing is the biggest perk of being home. I have no need to feel "put together' to get things done. I need to feel comfortable. For me, that's jeans/cords/sweats and a short-sleeved shirt, and socks. I don't like being barefoot in the house (esp. with the toddler dropping Cheerios on the kitchen floor), but I also hate wearing shoes. So...socks.
4) The two day old PJs thing is a non-issue, imo. Who cares? DH wouldn't. The only reason he'd bat an eyelash if I were still in my PJs, is because he knows they're not that comfy, so if I'm still wearing them, I'm probably not having a great day. I agree with Tigerchild that far fewer men would care than most women would think. IMO, guys don't care about our clothes, make-up, etc. even a fraction as much as most women care about those things.
5) I want dh to want me, as well as love me, too. However, I'd be crushed if I thought that meant i had to wear make-up or do my hair. He does want me - just the way I am. For me, a marriage wouldn't work based on anything else. And, I want him, just the way he is. If he stayed in his boxers all day and never brushed his hair, it wouldn't matter to me at all. He can't do that, because he's at work five days a week, and always wants to out, out, out on the other two, but it wouldn't matter to me in the slightest. He's a hottie, but it's not because he tries to be.
6) I honestly can't even imagine changing into a different shirt, just because dh was about to get home. I very, very rarely change my clothes during the day, and it takes something pretty extreme. If I got poop on my shirt, I'd change it. If I sloshed dish water all over myself, and then had to go out and the weather was cold, I'd change into a dry shirt (but I might take it out of the hamper, instead of out of my drawer). Other than that? Nope - just not my style...not dh's, either.
This has been an interesting read, I must say. I honestly had no idea there were so many people who wore make-up at home, for one thing!