What do you look like when your DH walks in the door and how do you greet him? - Page 5

[kawa kamuri]

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Edited by kawa kamuri - 1/22/11 at 4:00pm

[HollyBearsMom]

Originally Posted by CrunchyMama74 

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Originally Posted by HollyBearsMom 

This is rather timely because I become a SAHM next Thursday. 

Right now we both get home around the same time "dressed up" from work.  We both immediately change into comfy clothes.  ie: yoga pants, tee/sweatshirt and shearling slippers for me. Athletic pants, Patagonia fleece and shearling slippers for him. Kind of our at home uniform.  I fully planned to continue that "uniform" and was looking forward to *not* dressing up every day! Maybe I need to rethink??

I don't think there is any need to rethink. IMO, if you're comfortable, that's the most important thing. If you find it's not working for you for some reason, look into options then. Congrats on becoming a SAHM! Wishing you lots of happiness with it.

thanks! I am still a little bit in denial. 

[Chamomile Girl]

Originally Posted by MrsBone 

I am honestly amazed at the amount of mamas that don't wear makeup. It's totally fine, just surprised. I feel so much more put together and ready to move when I have a little makeup on..powder and blush. Maybe eyeliner if I have an extra few seconds. I have long black eyelashes though, so I rarely wear eye makeup. powder and blush take like 2 minutes, and it makes all the difference for me!

I have never worn makeup (well, unless you count my goth days). I guess I just don't see the point. It certainly doesn't make me look any better. In fact having anything on my face makes me feel...icky. Like I need to wash.

For me feeling put together is all about having the right socks and shoes on. When I am wearing socks and shoes that correspond to whatever the weather is supposed to be that day I'm ready! Even better if I manage to find the perfect sweater. Yup, socks and sweaters are what I'm all about. Can you tell I'm usually cold?

What does DH think about how I look in socks and sweaters? Well if its all I'm wearing he gets pretty excited...but then I get cold. Hmmm conflict of interests.

[ChelseaWantsOut]

Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl 

I have never worn makeup (well, unless you count my goth days). I guess I just don't see the point. It certainly doesn't make me look any better. In fact having anything on my face makes me feel...icky. Like I need to wash.

Same here.  It feels gross.  Plus I just wipe it all off on clothes, my hands, etc. anyway.  I went through a (Queen Amidala-inspired) lipstick phase and my hair would always get on it and then drag a line of red across my cheek.  Wow, that was like 12 years ago now.  Time flies.

[rajahkat]

I love the idea of makeup.  It's just not practical for me these days.  Kind of like my wedding rings.  I stopped wearing them when I had my first baby because I would scratch him.

[SashaBreeze]

Originally Posted by MrsBone 

I am honestly amazed at the amount of mamas that don't wear makeup. It's totally fine, just surprised. I feel so much more put together and ready to move when I have a little makeup on..powder and blush. Maybe eyeliner if I have an extra few seconds. I have long black eyelashes though, so I rarely wear eye makeup. powder and blush take like 2 minutes, and it makes all the difference for me!

I have always had a slight allergy to most make up and the older I get the worse that allergy gets.  I got to the point were it just wasn't worth it for me anymore so I stopped wearing it.

On the subject of clothing.  If I get something on my clothes (food, baby spit up, poo) I immediately change my clothes even if that means the babies have to chill in the bed for a second while I do so.  I would just feel super grimy if I didn't, and I dont like feeling that way.  My usual outfit at home is the same I wear when I am out comfy pants/skirt and a neutral colored top or t-shirt.  Fashion just has never been my thing so dh knew that about me going into the relationship.  I figure if he was fine with it while we were dating he would have no reason to not be fine with it now. 

Some women like to dress up and some of us dont.  I dont think it needs to be more complex than that.

[mrspineau]

Originally Posted by starbuckmom 

I read a book about a mom who was tired of the way she was living.  She fired her nanny, learned to cook and clean and be a  mom to her kids.  But she stressed how a stay at home mom should look/dress.  She stressed dressing in nice but casual clothes.  She liked capris and a nice shirt.  If anyone knows the book, let me know!  I can't find it.

After reading her book, I felt really guilty for the way I kept my house and the way I dressed.  I was ok in sports pants and a t-shirts.  I don't do my hair every day or put make up on.

I would like to be that mom who does dress nice everyday, do my hair, have make up on, get my nails done.

Would the book be "Happy Housewives" by Darla Shine?  It sounds like it to me.   I feel proud to be a stay at home mom and I want to look like it.  Everything feels better when I feel like I look good.  I feel like cleaning, I feel like taking the kids out, I'm in a good mood, I feel confident, which means that all my positivity comes through when my husband comes home.  When he comes it's the highlight of my whole day. I'm excited to see him and I want him to know that. And he very much likes and notices my makeup, my hair, my nails, etc.  Besides he's a hottie.  Gotta keep up. ;)

[starbuckmom]

Originally Posted by mrspineau 

Originally Posted by starbuckmom 

I read a book about a mom who was tired of the way she was living.  She fired her nanny, learned to cook and clean and be a  mom to her kids.  But she stressed how a stay at home mom should look/dress.  She stressed dressing in nice but casual clothes.  She liked capris and a nice shirt.  If anyone knows the book, let me know!  I can't find it.

After reading her book, I felt really guilty for the way I kept my house and the way I dressed.  I was ok in sports pants and a t-shirts.  I don't do my hair every day or put make up on.

I would like to be that mom who does dress nice everyday, do my hair, have make up on, get my nails done.

Would the book be "Happy Housewives" by Darla Shine?  It sounds like it to me.   I feel proud to be a stay at home mom and I want to look like it.  Everything feels better when I feel like I look good.  I feel like cleaning, I feel like taking the kids out, I'm in a good mood, I feel confident, which means that all my positivity comes through when my husband comes home.  When he comes it's the highlight of my whole day. I'm excited to see him and I want him to know that. And he very much likes and notices my makeup, my hair, my nails, etc.  Besides he's a hottie.  Gotta keep up. ;)

Yes it was that book!  Thanks!

[Neuromancer]

Maybe I shouldn't post here, since I work outside the home, but I just wanted to throw in the other side of the issue.  My husband works from home, often in the soccer shorts and tees he plays soccer in most mornings.  I've never once wished he looked more presentable when I get home from work.  I love him!  He greets me by standing up from his desk, coming to me and giving me a hug.  I appreciate it.  ;) 
 

ETA: We're seriously considering him doing some of the SAH childcare if I go back to work after we have our first child this spring, and I'm sure I'll be fine if he stays in the soccer togs for that, too.

[kittywitty]

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Edited by kittywitty - 6/18/11 at 1:11pm

[SashaBreeze]

Originally Posted by kittywitty 

Originally Posted by SashaBreeze 

I have always had a slight allergy to most make up and the older I get the worse that allergy gets.  I got to the point were it just wasn't worth it for me anymore so I stopped wearing it.

On the subject of clothing.  If I get something on my clothes (food, baby spit up, poo) I immediately change my clothes even if that means the babies have to chill in the bed for a second while I do so.  I would just feel super grimy if I didn't, and I dont like feeling that way.  My usual outfit at home is the same I wear when I am out comfy pants/skirt and a neutral colored top or t-shirt.  Fashion just has never been my thing so dh knew that about me going into the relationship.  I figure if he was fine with it while we were dating he would have no reason to not be fine with it now. 

Some women like to dress up and some of us dont.  I dont think it needs to be more complex than that." rel="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/shrug.gif">

I like wearing makeup, but as far as fashion goes, I'm a hopeless victim. I was just as bad when we met as teenagers and worse when we started dating. Sometimes he laughs at my horrible attempts and sometimes I succeed in not looking too horrible and he'll say something. But he certainly doesn't care that I dress up all the time. Usually if we go on a date together, I'll put on makeup and dress up nice and he'll still have ripped jeans and a concert t-shirt on so he'll go change after seeing I'm not wearing pajamas. I need to be on that What Not to Wear show. I am bad about not changing for awhile after getting spit up on, and most of my clothes have small holes in them from my cats and kids. Plus it will take me hours to realize I have food down my shirt-baby screams if I set her down while I eat and it's so hard to eat and not spill on her. It took me 3 hours at the hospital to realize I had ketchup ALL over my sweater yesterday! I was mortified but was so preoccupied I didn't notice forever!

Is it horrible of me that the first thing I thought was "Oh! Shoot! I hope that ketchup didn't stain her sweater."    Fashion victim here as well, maybe we can be on what not to wear together.

[kittywitty]

Sweet! The verdict is out on the stain. Hopefully my Bio-Kleen gets it out!

[L J]

I take a shower every morning, and if I am going grocery shopping or to town, I will put on real clothes and a bit of makeup. If I'm just bumming around the house, I wear these really awful 5 year old Hanna Andersson sweatpants (I love them because they have deep pockets!) with bleach stains all over them that are two sizes too big, and a ratty t-shirt or sweatshirt. Right before DH comes home from work, I change into my nice sweatpants (seriously) or yoga pants and a clean, cute t-shirt. I wash my face, brush my hair and teeth. I greet him at the door with a hug and a peck and then plop down in the floor while he sits on the couch and talks about his day, like a loyal subject. LOL. I really love clothes, and I love to get dressed up to go out when we do go out, but I don't do much besides freshen up. I'm not about to put on fresh makeup at 8pm to take it off for bed two hours later!

[MaddieMay]

I am the type that gets up and ready each morning.  I shower before DH leaves for work and I put on makeup and do my hair, just basic.  I wear jeans and a nice top (no-tshirts, but that's because I don't like them).  My wedding ring does not go on unless I leave the house and neither do shoes-I wear flip flops for quick trips to take out the trash, etc.  I don't know, I just feel better about myself when I'm up and ready for the day.  DS and I also like to be out and about and it's easier to do an impromptu playdate, etc. when we are both up and dressed.  If something gets dirty, I either wipe it clean or change clothes.

I usually look the same when DH gets home from work.  We eat together, do DS's bedtime routine and after we tuck him in, we both change into comfy clothes like lounge pants and a shirt/pullover.

[mommybaker]

my wonderful husband is just impressed if a few days a week, I have showered, dressed and cleaned the house.  He is happy to see me happy and usually appreciates the effort I put into welcoming him.  He is not unrealistic, he knows that some days have been way to long, tiring and sleep deprived to make an effort, and I remind myself the same thing when he comes home from work and goes to bed without really spending time with me.  Sometimes it just does not work!  And I'm ok with that... after all, I am not Martha Stewart... I am lucky if I am even myself some days!

[SomethingAnonymous]

Originally Posted by plantnerd 

Wow, I'm kind of surprised by some of these posts. 

I can't step into anybody's shoes or live their life, nor dictate what they're comfortble with, but honestly, I'd be po'd if I came home to my hubby wearing the same ratty stuff he had on when we went to bed last night, not bathed, and he grunted at me or said "oh, hey" when I walked in the door.

To me, if I was the one working, I would be getting up to an alarm in the dark, getting dressed for work, and leaving without seeing my family.  To come home to that would just seem unfair to me, and a bummer.

I bet I'm going to get flamed for this...  sorry in advance

ok not flaming you.. but since my partner works from home, I do get to see that he is still in Pjs and not showered or anything. But! I don't know why I would fault him for this because I stay home and I know how there is NO time for showering.  I think it's admirable that he does spend all day working so hard without breaks for showering.  Just because someone doesn't get dressed doesn't mean they are lazy.. it probably means they are really busy and working hard.

to those of you who shower every morning and have small kids that can't be left alone and certainly won't tolerate being locked in the bathroom with you.. how do you do it?

[Lucy Alden]

Originally Posted by SomethingAnonymous 

to those of you who shower every morning and have small kids that can't be left alone and certainly won't tolerate being locked in the bathroom with you.. how do you do it?

I'm the queen of quick showers.  I can be in and out in 5 minutes.  I don't wash my hair or shave everyday but I do wash my pits and bits and then wash my face.  My oldest is 8 now so I can do a more thorough job but I used to throw a few toys on the bathroom floor and keep a running dialog going with the littles to distract them so they wouldn't go swimming in the toilet.  After that they were free to wander the house while I dressed and finished getting ready.

And I do shower and dress everyday.  My uniform is jeans and a t-shirt or sweater with my hair down and curly or up in a pony.  Makeup happens about 50% of the time.  If I stay in my pjs I'm way less productive.  Plus, we homeschool and are sure to leave the house at some point.  I'd rather be ready to go than waste precious time getting us ready later in the day.
 

[newsolarmomma2]

I'm not a SAHM, but Im interested in this topic. My DH is a SAHD, and I always wonder what is a fair balance. I KNOW his job is much, much harder than mine is, even though I do think mine is more stressful (being the sole supporter of any family is VERY stressful!). I try to help so he isnt burnt out and hating me and DS, and life in general. I choose to do all the nighttime parenting, as getting up doesn't bother me but makes him miserable.

Its nice to try to look good, at least a few times a week. This is impossible if you are out of balance because you do 24 hours of work, and DP does 8. I don't care how tough your job is, being a SAHP is harder. I'm sure there are a few exceptions, but like my Mom said- A SAHP never gets to retire, and is on call 24-7, you cant leave the work and escape to home!

*We do put the baby in a safe place and shower, and have time without him. I don't think we could parent effectively otherwise, but thats just us.

[mbhf]

Originally Posted by SomethingAnonymous 

to those of you who shower every morning and have small kids that can't be left alone and certainly won't tolerate being locked in the bathroom with you.. how do you do it?

Currently, I put my baby in a bouncy seat with the shower curtain pulled back so I can see him and he can see me. My other kids are all currently trustworthy enough that I can leave them out in the living room for 10 minutes while I shower. When the baby is bigger I'll put him down in the tub while I shower. When I have a baby/toddler that is not able to be left alone I put them in the shower with me. If they're terrified of the shower, I just take baths for a few months instead. It's not ideal but I do what I need to do. for the record, I don't shower every single morning. But I do put real clothes on and do my hair every morning. I am a lot more productive and happy and life is just better when I do.

[Ornery]

I've been a SAHM for almost 7 years now.  There have been very few days that I have not showered, put makeup on (eye shadow, mascara, lipstick and some powder) and dressed somewhat nicely.  Even when I had two under two, it was a huge priority for me to get my shower in every day.  I just need it to function well, like some people need coffee.  My oldest son is the same way.  He gets up a takes a shower, even when he is just going to workout.  I've been in the ICU and still drug myself into the shower for a two minute wash. 

And I try, if I know when my husband is coming home, to make sure I have freshened up a bit, even if it is just a layer of gloss on my lips.  I don't always run to him with a lengthy kiss and a "How was your day" but that is because I am usually working on dinner and reading with the kids and feeding our animals when he arrives.  If I'm not doing anything I do try to make him feel special, not because I think I have to but because I love coming home and having him make me feel special.  The golden rule and all that.

I asked my husband what he thought about this thread and he said he didn't really care what I looked like, but he admitted he liked it when I am "gussied up". 

Once again, this is one of those things where what works for my family, wouldn't work for another family!