Thoughts on putting a baby in childcare

[sarah1122]

Hello!

I currently have a 2 year old son who has been in childcare two days a week since he was 1.  He loves it and always has.  While he is at childcare I have a busy healthcare practice...I love what I do and I love the balance of working part time and being home with my son part time. 

We are expecting a second child in mid-May and the baby will definitely be home with me or DH full time until September.  Until recently I had assumed that I would largely close my practice (aside from a few hours on the weekend) to stay home full time with the new babe until he/she turns 1.

And now I'm wondering if this is the right thing to do.

I'm concerned that it will be hard to rebuild my practice after a year away.  I'm worried that the finances will be tight with me out of work for so long and most of all I really, really LOVE my work and don't really want to give it up for a year.

But, I have real hesitation about putting such a small baby into childcare...I know plenty of people do it...and I know it would only be two days a week...but I'm still feeling weird about it.

My son's childcare is pretty ideal.  It is a very small Waldorf program run by an amazing woman who is a former teacher and an extremely gifted and intuitive care provider.  The program only takes 6 children at a time and only one baby under 1 at a time.  The babies are rocked to sleep, sung to, held when they are fed, etc.  The atmosphere is very calm and the woman who runs it has become a close family friend who is part of our lives even outside of the childcare setting.  Its a really great place with a great caregiver. 

Thoughts on putting a baby into care one or two days a week?

[Alyantavid]

In that situation?  I'd be fine with it. 

I never had a choice, my babies had to go to daycare.  But I picked places where they were the only babies, or where they were one of only 2 babies.  And they did great.

[laurabfig]

I think your feelings are totally normal.  My son will most likely only be with someone other than my dh or I for one day a week when I return to work, and my older 2 were always in childcare about 2-3 days a week when they were young....but it does feel hard to leave them, because they're LITTLE.

I was unsure from your post- can your daughter go to the place where your son is?  In that situation, I would feel no hesitation- do it!  Other than that- maybe ask your son's childcare provider if she knows anyone in the area who would be willing to watch your baby for those few days.  I think if you found the right person, you could continue to work.

You're right about closing your practice though...I think it would be REALLY hard to build back up a clientele after being out of the field raising kids for even a year or two.  (I don't even know what you do for a living, but people tend to find other providers if someone is out for even a few months or more...)  I do think it would be worth it for you to stay in your field, if even for only 2 days a week, just to keep your career on a forward trajectory.  Lots of women who leave their jobs completely have a very hard time returning to the work force when it is time, after having many years out of their field.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do!

[lbkw]

I started my daughter in full-time childcare at 3 months in a program that I was completely comfortable with. It was the greatest experience for both of us. She was in a group of other infants, though, and became very close with a few of the girls her age. It seems advantageous for a mixed age, too, just like a family.

It will help you take care of your infant if you aren't stressed by issues related to not working enough.

[1love4ever]

Hi, my aunt actually had a daycare and I was a full time student at the time.  I took here there starting at 2 1/2 weeks old, even though I hated doing it.  It was only a few hours a day, 4 days a week.  The following semester when she was 6 months I took her back after having the summer off.  She is a very particular baby and liked to be held and I nursed her to sleep all the time.  My aunt acted like she was ok with giving my babe the extra attention, and always told me that she did great.

One day at the end of that semester(Dec. 2010) I came back from school a little earlier than expected to pick of my child.  I walked in to find my baby standing in a jumper in a corner SCREAMING her head of, absolutely histerical, beat red, it was horrible.  My aunt started telling me how ridiculous my child was and that my 10 month old was trying to make her mad on purpose!  Then she told me not to come back.

It was a very traumatizing experience for us both.  Besides this, some daycares require your child to be vaccinated, they use bleach, they dont feed organic, they won't wear your baby, and they spread illness like wildfire.  My advice would be to try to find a family member or friend who can watch your child and give lots of one on one attention.    It can also make it more difficult to breastfeed being away from your child like that.

If you do have to put your child in daycare, I recommend stopping in announced frequently, and discussing with them all of your concerns about natural parenting.  Ideally find someone who will wear your baby and who will feed organic after your baby is old enough.  Look for someone with similar natural parenting values as yours, who uses natural cleaners and has wood floors finished with a VOC free finish.

 My aunt acted funny when I would bring my breastmilk and home made baby food over and keep it in her fridge for them to feed my child.

I know my daycare experience is not how every daycare is, but I guarantee it happens more than you think.  Get in touch with the daycare state licensor and ask about the daycare you are considering, and become familiar with the provider to child ratio laws.

[Quinalla]

Sounds like a great daycare situation. I went back to work when my daughter was 4 months and it wasn't as good of a situation, they held her as much as they could, but they had many other children to tend to, so sometimes when she was fed, dry and comfortable, they would have to put her down for a bit with some tears, but it was pretty minimal and since I waited until she was 4 months while it wasn't perfect, I felt she was old enough that it wasn't doing lasting harm for those few times. But they really were great, the owner and her support staff would come down and get my baby or others who were having a rough day and just hold them while they went about there day, that sort of thing, they really bent over backward to try and keep the little ones as happy as possible. So if it were me, I would definitely put a baby in for a day or two to keep your practice going once I felt they were old enough (which for me was 3-4 months).