I've seen that too in a lot of PK's. I wonder if the stress of being in the pastoral position leads them to over-discipline because they want to try to ensure that their kids look good/behave properly/etc. because they know they are being watched by the congregation. Just a theory, but that would seem to be human nature.
God put my husband in my life right when I needed him too. My mom died when I was 15 and 3 months later God sent me DH. We have been together since we were 15. I went into foster care and a lot of garbage b/c my dad voluntarily gave me up to the state after like 6 months of horror with him.
Then my foster fam kicked me out when I was just about 17 and we have been on our own since then. DH and I started living together at 16 (he paid my foster fam rent) until we had to get our own place.
I know I would not have made it without him.
I've seen that too in a lot of PK's. I wonder if the stress of being in the pastoral position leads them to over-discipline because they want to try to ensure that their kids look good/behave properly/etc. because they know they are being watched by the congregation. Just a theory, but that would seem to be human nature.
I think so. Everything was "how does this make the church look?" and "What would the church think?"
Like, when I was seriously bulimic (I was so underweight I'm fairly certain I stopped ovulating) and self harming at least once a day my parents forced me into therapy, but it was under the radar of the church. We never talked about it. I was just expected to "get better" and be done. They used to grill me after my sessions to see what I talked about. They pulled me out after a month for "not progressing" or something...
I also went away for college (I was given the choice between two schools: One in town and one an hour away....and then was told I was going to the one away) My parents told me it was because it was "no good for anyone if I stayed home."
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I've seen that too in a lot of PK's. I wonder if the stress of being in the pastoral position leads them to over-discipline because they want to try to ensure that their kids look good/behave properly/etc. because they know they are being watched by the congregation. Just a theory, but that would seem to be human nature. >>
First, I'm sorry for what the PKs here have gone through!
However, it's funny - because my experience (I'm not a PK - I mean observing them) is the opposite...in fact, it's been a joke in the congregations we've attended - about how the PKs are the worst ones...you'd never want your daughter to date one, etc... My theory has been two-fold - that a) the preacher was so busy dealing with other things that he neglected the rearing of his children and b) that the PKs wanted to prove that they weren't those "goody two-shoes" types. :) That's funny, though, because truly among the people I know, our experience with PKs is the opposite of what's being described here. Either way, preacher's families have just so much to deal with - how difficult for every member!
Hi ya'll. Hope it is not too late to join into the convo.
I am a CCMama of 1 baby girl so far. I am the "crunchiest" I know and sometimes it can be confusing and lonely.
We move around a lot for my DH's work, but we are trying to settle in our new area. DH and I have had a rocky road with our faith before we met one another, but I swear, God brought us together and now it feels like we are starting all over and learning new things every day.
I have struggled with being a SAHM. No one mentions how difficult new babies are past the first 6 weeks! I sometimes feel lost at why I decided to SAH and struggle financially paying off college loans, but I am hoping one day I will look back on this time and feel gratitude. I know it is a blessing.
Anyways, happy there are more out there!
Would love any book recommendations or uplifting blog links :-)
Best,
Jamie
Welcome Jamie!
I am 23 and a SAHM with no family support. (I have a few fam members but their are issues) It is DH and I and that is it. His family have never even been to our house...MIL didn't even see our child until she was 2 m/o. We don't even have drama with these people they just could care less apparently.
I know how lonely it can get and overwhelming. My DD is very spirited and at 17 m/o STILL cries like 1hr or 2 a day...and her cries are screeching at the top of her lungs ear piercing cries. This makes it even harder and makes it hard to have people over b/c DD for some reason is going through a new phase where she does not want to leave the house or have people over. She will scream the whole time.
I have always wanted to be a SAHM and wife. That was always my dream, never thought it would be so early though. I know other moms that I now that work either part or full time and their kids are in daycare all day are still overwhelmed. They work all day then have to take care of a whiny clingy child who hasn't seen them in so many hours. It is hard either way you choose to go. Bing a mom is just hard. Moms do not have the same support they used to. Not too long ago you could call your neighbor to run over and hold the baby while you took a shower, mostly today you have no support except immediate family if you even have that. It is hard when you never seem to get a break. Just remember these years will go by so fast you will long for the day your LO was a baby and miss the snuggles and BWing ect. You are building a foundation for your child and everyone just has to do the best they can and what they can handle. Whatever you choose is fine, you just have to accept your choice and life.
Well, it's Mardi Gras! Any plans for Lent? I have chosen a devotional for me to go through during Lent, but I haven't thought of something for the kids yet.
I thought I should pipe in and introduce myself! I have seen the forum and read through several times. My name is MaryElizabeth and I am 25 years old with an almost 2 DD and a little boy due in June :) I have been a Christian all my life, my dad is a pastor and prison evangelist. I liked being a PK, even though it did come with additional stressers. I met my DH in our private Christian highschool and after both of us getting a little wild in college 
.... we ended up getting married! It is great to be married to your best friend from school :) Funny to look back and say "we should have been together this whole time!.... but we probably would have killed each other haha.
My DH is an officer in the Army and we are currently at Ft. Bragg. I am a SAHM and while I love it, it can definitely get lonely real fast. I beg my in-laws and parents to come visit haha. We are in the middle of a home remodel and are going to be relocating to Ft. Sill, OK in August. busy busy!
It's great to meet you ladies and very nice to know that there ARE Christian Crunchy mothers out there besides me!
Welcome Mary Elizabeth!
I get real lonely too. My only support is DH....it can be trying at times!
On another note I am giving up chocolate for lent 
that's my addiction...
I've never done lent... but I feel like I should. I think my vice right now is probably sleep and the internet!<-- haha I never used to spend time on the computer, but every since I've been pregnant and it being winter, I've slowly become addicted 
. I hear you on the only having DH thing, I've never had a problem making friends, I guess I am just unmotivated to do so in this moment in time. I know it must make DH feel a little suffocated at times to have me so dependent on him, and I'm sure DD could use some more social time..... Playgroups and making "mom" friends just seems like a waste when I know I will be leaving it all in a few months time. What do you ladies do for social time? We realllly need to find a church we like!!! That would be most helpful!
Well I don't have family but I do have a few good friends, but we are a one car family and they live like an hour from here...
DH works some Sundays so it's hard to always get to church. We do have a church we like that we go to, but DD is also going through huge separation anxiety and seems like most churches now expect you to put them in daycare there, which is also hard b/c DD is very sensitive to her environment and when their is a bunch of babies crying she gets really upset...
Hey everybody! How are you gals doing? I'm getting ready for passover and Resurrection Sunday. Behold the Lamb!! Jesus is so great. Anyone have special plans?
Hi mamas! I haven't caught up in reading all the posts yet, but I want to chime in :) I am a Christian mama with two kiddos. We just moved away from an AMAZING church, and sort of struggling lookng for a new one. Well, we have been attending a certain church that seems fine enough. I guess when you have been going to a church where you just feel the Spirit of God so powerfully present it is pretty hard to replace the experience.
I am officially being baptised on Sunday!!! So excited to be born again!
I am officially being baptised on Sunday!!! So excited to be born again!
Congrats! That's so amazing!!!!
I am officially being baptised on Sunday!!! So excited to be born again!
Congrads!!!! May the Lord Bless you! Always stay at the cross. Behold the Lamb. He will never leave you or forsake you. Glory to the Lord on High!!!!! Behold the Lamb.
The true Palm Sunday! (rev 6:9-10,12)
After this, I looked; and there before me was a huge crowd, too large for anyone to count, from every nation, tribe, people and language. They were standing in front of the throne and in front of the Lamb, dressed in white robes and holding palm branches in their hands; and they shouted,
"Victory to our God,
who sits on the throne,
and to the Lamb!"
Praise and glory, wisdom and thanks,
honor and power and strength
belong to our God forever and ever!
Amen!
I am officially being baptised on Sunday!!! So excited to be born again!
Congratulations!!!
Thank you!
A blessed day tomorrow....He is alive forever and ever Amen!!!!
So DH is going through what he labeled as a "nervous breakdown" and I don't know how to handle it. It started when I said I wanted to get baptized (but he says it started before hand) so I chocked it up to the devil trying to break me by taking him. He is acting so strange and having panic attacks and saying he is so afraid of dying ect ect
He is not Christian, IDK he believes in God but doesn't want to have to follow any guidelines kind of person. KWIM? They say "oh yeah I believe in God" but live as though their isn't any judgement or a hell.
SO last night we were talking and he starts going on and on about how he is scared to die b/c he doesn't know what happens when we die and all of this stuff. I told him I know what happens you go to heaven or hell it's your choice to make, but praying is not enough you need to follow God's word. I also let him know how much God loves him and wants him to be saved.
Well he started freaking out and asked me to stop talking about God...so I did. I told him that IDK how else to help him, so I made him a cup of peaceful tea and warmed up the heating pad and went to bed.
IDK how to handle this.
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