New therapist, new issue...

[Petie1104]

I found dd a new therapist.  For those people who don't know, we just moved here a couple months ago.  So I finally find her a new therapist and psychiatrist.  I go home, after filling out the paperwork, and inform dd that guess what, she has an appt with her new therapist.  This results in tears and screaming.  Apparently she thought we would drive her back to alabama to see her old therapist.  Apparently, she honestly believed that we would start making weekly trips back.  So I explained about the distance and that it wasn't possible so she said, "can ms. K come here?"  Well, no.  So I finally get her past this and she actually gets excited and wants to make her new therapist a card.  She addressed it, Dear Ms. New Therapist (no joke, that exactly what she wrote).  She had asked me to spell therapist, but didn't tell me she was putting Ms. in front of it.  So I look at the card and I said, "honey, your new therapist is a Mr.  I bet we could fix that easy, you want mommy to help you change the s to an r".  Oh boy, more tears and screaming.  "He's a HE MOMMY.  NO I CAN'T GO TO A HE!!"  And on and on about how I need to go find her a "she therapist" and how she won't talk to a he therapist.  Oh boy, it took everything I had to find her this therapist and he works with the ONLY psychiatrist in town that will see Tricare children.  I have no choice in this one.  So, I told her that we will go, she can explain to HIM her issue with him and see what he says.  I'm HOPING AND PRAYING that he will have some idea how to make her comfortable with him.

I am also hoping that in the next few days she will warm up to the idea.  The fact is, she has only had two therapists and two psychs in her life.  Both therapists were women, both psychs were men.  I think she honestly believes that therapists are SUPPOSED to be women. 

Any suggestions on how to help her "warm up" to the new guy?  I did convince her to change the card since she agreed to see him once.

[marge234]

Wow, good for you for getting through all that and getting her to agree to see him once. That was pretty amazing work.   Only thought I had was if you could call the former therapist and ask her for some advice?  Since she knows DD so well?  If not, I'm sure this isn't uncommon and bet the new guy will be able to handle it.  Though maybe you can give him a heads up.  GL and let us know how it goes.

[Linda on the move]

I'm sorry. I would tell her that you guys can go together and talk to him about it. I would make a call to the office and give them a heads up.

but it is super common to children to start with a therapist with the intent of not speaking and not cooperating. He can handle this. It might take a few appointments to work through just this issue, but in the end, she'll have grown as a person. Although it is VERY difficult to watch our children struggle, try to focus on what she'll learn from this -- that there is a whole other gender that she can talk to.

Just get her there, and let him work through it with her. There's no way of knowing what will do the trick. My DD started therapy with the intent of not cooperating, but the therapist had a picture of a horse on the wall, so they talked about horses for an hour, and then therapist gave her a candy bar and we left. They next week, therapy really started. (don't promise your child a candy bar, though, not all therapist do that!)

when's the appointment?

[Petie1104]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move 

I'm sorry. I would tell her that you guys can go together and talk to him about it. I would make a call to the office and give them a heads up.

but it is super common to children to start with a therapist with the intent of not speaking and not cooperating. He can handle this. It might take a few appointments to work through just this issue, but in the end, she'll have grown as a person. Although it is VERY difficult to watch our children struggle, try to focus on what she'll learn from this -- that there is a whole other gender that she can talk to.

Just get her there, and let him work through it with her. There's no way of knowing what will do the trick. My DD started therapy with the intent of not cooperating, but the therapist had a picture of a horse on the wall, so they talked about horses for an hour, and then therapist gave her a candy bar and we left. They next week, therapy really started. (don't promise your child a candy bar, though, not all therapist do that!)

when's the appointment?

 The appointment is on Tuesday. 

[Emmeline II]

My son was not resistant to going to a new therapist but it still took a few weeks for him to talk to her much.