What to do about school?

[mbbinsc]

My DD is IgE allergic to dairy, egg, peanut, treenut and shellfish.  Her numbers for egg, dairy and peanut are off the charts in RAST testing.  We have had one ER visit due to an exposure to peanut and carry an epi-pen.  She is in a wonderful pre-school 3 mornings a week.  The snacks they serve in her class are safe for her.  The teacher to child ratio is 2 to 11.  It is time for me to prepare to leave this happy place and prepare for kindergarten next fall. 

I am going to start with the nurse at the local elementary school (close to home, close to EMS, over 800 students k-5).  After she gets an understanding of DDs allergies, we will meet with the principal.  I seemed to have gotten his attention in a phone call when I said that she reacts to airborne exposure of Cheddar Goldfish.

Am I wasting my time with a school?  Should I focus on homeschooling (there are virtual charter schools in SC and I know a parent is using the K12 program)?  How do you make this decision?  Any input or thoughts are appreciated.

[deditus]

I would be scared, very scared with those kinds of IgE allergies. I don't see how it could possible be made safe for her. I would definitely be concentrating on what you need to do to homeschool.

[changingseasons]

I know that many people do it, but for me personally it's just too risky. But if you can find a place that has staff willing to work with you and implement a good 504 plan, it might work for you.

[34me]

I would have a hard time sending my kiddo to school with airborne reactions like that. Not only do you have to worry about 800+ lunches on a daily basis but over 1600 hands that need to be washed before/ after they enter exit the class room and lunchroom. How do you ensure that every parent packs a safe lunch? I'd be a nervous wreck

[ilovemygirl]

If it's possible for you to homeschool I would certainly recommend it. It's impossible and unrealistic to think that hundreds of children and families could keep straight everything they can't bring to school. As a pp mentioned, even if it somehow were possible, there is still the issue of hand washing, crumbs on shirts, etc. 

[mbbinsc]

Thank you so much for your comments.  Having input from those that understand what obstacles are present means so much to me.  The more investigation I do, the closer I come to embracing homeschooling.  DH has been hoping for help in his business once DD went to Kindergarten but he can hire someone even if it is not in the best financial interest of the family/business. 

[deditus]

Well, it may be cheaper to find a mother's helper to watch your child so you can help him than it would be to hire an employee. You may even be able to find someone through a homeschooling group. It's not easy to homeschool and not everyone wants to do it, but if you can embrace it and enjoy it while knowing your allergic child is safer, then do it for sure.

[momofmine]

It is not the reason we homeschool because I knew I wanted to homeschool from the time I was pregnant.  However, now I can say that I am very glad we are, and there is no way I could send my child off to school at this age.  I'd be a nervous wreck, as a PP said, every single day.  Just not worth it when homeschooling is so much fun anyway!  I think the key thing for me is that for a teacher with 20 or more students, it would be hard to be tuned in to one child that closely to be able to make note at the earliest signs of a reaction, and when they are little, they might not realize that was happening.  I would be homeschooling anyway, though, so this is just an extra bonus for me that makes my life easier.

I work part-time, some from home, so it's definitely feasible that you could help your DH with his business some.  If it is stuff like bookkeeping and things you can do from home that would be totally doable.  I just take advantage of times when my children are happily playing or having their screen time, etc, and I use that time to get my work done.  It gets so much easier as they get older, and you'll be able to do that more and more.  I think there is even a work and homeschool yahoo group, but I have not been on it.  Good luck!

[Panserbjorne]

I have had nothing but excellent experiences WRT having my kids in school.  Our nurse is UNBELIEVABLY diligent.  Annoyingly so at times.  LOL.

Dd is that reactive to shellfish, but her others are not triggered by inhalation.  I honestly don't know what you could do about that.  I wish I had some better information.  Plenty of schools have mandated that no one can bring nuts (peanut or tree nut) on to the premises, but I don't think they'd be able to do it for dairy or egg. 

Best of luck!

[mbbinsc]

Thanks again for the input.  I feel compelled to try to work with the school to have a plan in place, just in case homeschooling would not be possible (like I need to get a real job since DH's business slows down). I found some guidelines from other states (South Carolina does not appear to have one) to start our discussions.   I hope that the nurse is up to the challenge!

DDs food allergies have changed my life so much.  I would not have planned to EBF, but did so until 3.5 yrs.  Cooking has never been my thing, but now am having to provide safe meals and treats.  And now I am considering homeschooling. 

[FAmom]

Two of my kids are in school, both have food allergies.  Without going into too much detail, what I would offer from my own personal experience, is to look into a 504 for your child.

Food allergies qualify for 504's.  

If schools are supportive and want to do what is right for your child, they won't fight you on it.  Getting designated shouldn't be a fight.  You may have to negotiate a bit on accommodations, but you can get a gauge on just how understanding your school people will be by how they handle a request for a 504.

Be sure to research 504 and Life Threatening Food Allergies first though.  You likely will know more about it after you do than anyone at the school.

No matter how great parents, teachers and principals may seem, the true test is not in what they say to you.  It isn't in how much they say they understand, or say they've done for other food allergic students at the school already, it is what they say they will do specifically for your child.... and then following through with it.  The true test of any individual at a school is if you show up and what is supposed to be done is actually being done.  There are a lot of well meaning people, who say one thing, but when it comes to implementation it doesn't happen.  That is where the 504 can help, and give you some recourse with a school if they really drop the ball..... and some will do it flagrantly.  And, implementation is key for the safety of your child.  

All that said, I think if I were a different person, with a different temperament, and a broader support system, I might have gone the route of homeschooling.  Our road hasn't been easy, it still isn't, and I have been pushed to thinking about homeschooling in a very serious way.... but, we aren't there quite yet.

Trust your gut after meeting with the school.  Ask about training for teachers with respect to epipens and recognizing reactions.  See about how they store epipens.... if they lock them up, or think that is the right way to handle them, that should raise a red flag.  If you are able to go to the station that would be first responders, see if the EMS even has an epipen ..... or is allowed to administer one.  

One last thing, if you do decide to go the 504 route, it really is good that you are thinking about it now.  Don't let anyone dissuade you or tell you it is unnecessary.  This is your child..... and your child's medical condition.  

[mbbinsc]

FAmom, thank you for your insight.  I am learning about 504 plans.  I had a phone conversation with the principal where he asked if I thought that DD could be safe at school.  My response was that my calling in January vs right before school starts indicates how much effort will be needed.  I hope that the school situation for your DC improves. 

One mom that had homeschooled her children (prior to going to a charter middle school with my DS) said that we would need to create DDs community.  I am researching groups and classes.