Have you been in this situation? I ask because it can be really serious even in 3rd grade. My little boy has been seriously changed from being bullied in 3rd grade. Someone he really trusted turned on him. The boys in class humiliated him at every turn. They eventually started to physically push him into walls and trip him on the playground. DS was falling apart. He couldn't sleep. He had nightmares. He started lashing out at his sister and at us. His grades slipped. It was really terrible. Even though the school took it seriously and put a stop to the bullies, the scars still remain two years later. He's more sensitive. He doesn't trust people. He's wary of new social situations. DS had NONE of these issues prior to 3rd grade.
I KNEW this family of the instigator. My DS was this boys friend! For 3 years, DS was the ONLY child that showed up to the birthday parties. Being community did nothing to make them reign in their child. In fact, they started making excuses to their child as to why it was OK.
My poor little brother was tortured for years and it only got worse and worse. He wasn't in physical danger in 3rd grade but by 6th, he was getting beat up on a regular basis by these same kids. The other parents did NOTHING to stop this.
Dealing with other parents on your own can put your own children in more jeapordy. I made the mistake of approaching a mom when our DD's were having trouble. The mom lashed out and spent YEARS telling other families really terrible things about my DD. Thankfully, DD is a stellar citizen and people figured out that this woman was lying. Still, in a large school, there are plenty of people who don't really know you and so DD spent all of middle school having to cope with these rumours passed around by an ADULT!
I'm all for community but be smart about it. We have formed a wonderful community of friends and family for our children. I just suggest going though teachers and principal first because frankly, I've rarely met a parent of a known bully who was reasonable.
Originally Posted by elisheva
But if someone is intimidating a child, there is no way for the child to truly learn anything on how to avoid dangerous people.
Do you really think it's this serious in 3rd grade? These other kids are dangerous? I disagree. I stand by my suggestion to get to know the family better. It's time to build real community not hide out in our own homes with our own group because we want someone else to solve the problem.