toddlers and birth

[lightinmyhands]

I know I want my 7 year old to be present at the birth, but I do not know if dd2, who will have just turned 2 by then, should be there.  Has anyone had any experience with a toddler at a birth?  

[rebecca_n]

my son is two and was pretty good during the birth (cranky during labor but thats because he's used to sleeping with mommy and couldnt) . he played beside our birthpool while i was pushing and then checked out his sister before going to take a nap. i'm glad he was there :)

[MittensKittens]

My DD was 2.5 years old when I gave birth to her brother, unassisted. I labored at night and it was a short labor, but she was there when my son was born and a little while before - I woke her up with vocalizing through contractions. She was very excited and sweet, brought me drinks and picked out the first outfit my son wore! Afterward she told everyone who would listen that she had seen her brother being born on the bathroom floor, LOL.

[Mamatoabunch]

I have had several of my 2y/o's at the time at my births and all were positive experiences.

[Japanmamma]

One of my favorite memories from the birth of my second child is my daughter, 20 months', reaction.  She slept through most of the labor and woke a few minutes before I delivered.  Right after I delivered dd2, dd1 said in a voice so full of wonder it was heartbreaking "It's a baby."  She was never even slightly jealous of all the attention the baby got (even though she was so young) and I credit the fact that she saw where the baby came from, that the baby was a part of mommy, for this fact.

[lightinmyhands]

thanks everyone--- i'm not only no longer hesitant about having my 2 year old there, I'm really excited!  

[JPOUC]

I couldn't do it... but everyone is different.  I get really, really cranky and very annoyed by even the slightest noises when I'm in labor.  A toddler playing quietly would not be something I could ignore.  But I do love the stories of siblings  being present and I have no doubts that it's a very positive experience for them!!  It's just not something I could do :)

[lightinmyhands]

kinda wondering that for myself JPOUC.... i get easily annoyed during labor... wouldn't be annoyed by a toddler playing quietly, but there is definitely a high probability that I'd be annoyed by a toddler wanting to interact with me.  i hate for her to miss that experience though, and my labors are pretty fast and easy.  I think I'm going to try to have her present but have someone there to act as a doula of sorts for her and to entertain her elsewhere if that is what i need at the time.

[ElizabethE]

I can see it going both ways for me.

I think the important thing is to keep your options open, do what feels right in the moment, and don't beat yourself up about it if you "need" to have it a certain way. :)

[dayiscoming2006]

I have little choice. My 2 year old and 4 year old will both be there. But, I'll let daddy tend to them. I have no other options for people to watch them where I'm currently living. I think it'll be just fine though and it should be neat for them to meet there sister right away. :)

I am good at zoning people out and doing what has to be done. The only thing that would annoy me is if my kids started screaming/crying. I'd have hubby take them to another room for sure in that case.

[AutumnAir]

DD1 was 2.5 at her sister's UC birth.  It was a very fast labour, so she was really only there for a few minutes, while I was pushing, but she was very sweet.  She kept rubbing my leg and telling me 'It's okay Mama, it's just the baby coming out." She stayed with me and the baby while my mom (who caught) went downstairs to call DH and got a bit of a shock when the placenta came out, but once I reminded her what it was (we'd done some prep by reading homebirth books for kids) she was totally cool with it.  I had back-up plans in place for if she was upset by it, or if I changed my mind and didn't want her there, etc. and I think knowing that I was prepared like that helped me to be fine with having her there.  I also like that she got to experience a natural peaceful birth, since hers was anything but.  There are some nice homebirth books for kids out there and I'd definitely recommend reading a few with your toddler before the birth and talking about what they might see or hear or feel - it certainly helped DD to be relaxed with the birth.

[Happiestever]

My then 25 mo did fine. She slept for most of it. I guess she got kinda scared when I was moaning, but she just watched and went back to sleep.

[citymagnolia]

My daughter was 26 months old. She got very excited about having her favorite people--my mom, my best friend, and her dad--gathered in the house. She was also excited that the futon mattress was on the floor. I was laboring there and she wanted to run across it and do somersaults. I was glad to have a backup plan for my little wild one! This time they are 4 and 6 and want to watch home birth videos every night. They've been involved every step of the way and I can't imagine them not being there for the birth. I know they're going to be amazing, but I will probably have someone on call for them in case they get bored or something.

[Jeanne Ohm DC]

All of our children of various ages were present at our births (and even some attended the births of other women) Our two oldest sons have now had awesome home births with their wives and I do believe that their experience as children gave them the trust needed to support their women.

[JPOUC]

I love all these stories!!  My daughter has suddenly decided that she does want to be here so if it works that she is home when I go into labor then I will let her stay.  Fortunately her brothers want no part of it.  I really don't want them around either so I'm glad... I would feel bad telling them no.

[justamama]

We set our kids (4 and 2) up with a movie and the MW assistant and hubby went back and forth with keeping them occupied. I'm sure this time we'll be able to rely on our now 6 y/o to help entertain the two younger girls in the toyroom while I labor. At the time of the birth if they want to come watch, that's fine with me. One of the greatest things about my one year old's birth was hearing the older girls laughing hysterically with excitement of knowing their sister was about to be born. <3

[ElizabethE]

Mine hurt and was really intense, so I was glad the kids were asleep. I'm sorry they missed it, but it definitely simplified the situation and was easier for me to handle because of it. Otherwise my husband would have to escort them out and watch them and maybe miss the birth.