Helping my 9 yo son make friends

[JayGee]

We just moved over winter break to a new town in a new state.  My son is in 3rd grade and seems to be having a difficult time making friends.  He's very non-competitive and non-aggressive, although he enjoys individual sports like mountain biking and rock climbing.  At his old school, he had a small group of boys who loved to climb on the monkey bars, doing all kinds of tricks.  He tried that the first day of school here, and they're not allowed to climb onto the bars here .  According to him, all the boys play basketball, which he doesn't enjoy at all.  So he's been playing four-square with some girls, but he complains about how "girly" the girls are!  It's almost as though he's afraid of the boys in his class and eats lunch with the girls most days.  I know he misses his old friends and climbing buddies, and seems kind of sad most days after school, which is really not like him.

Is there anything I can say or do to help him find some friends who enjoy the same things he does?  I just feel sad and want school to be a positive place for him.

[Ornery]

I would talk with the teacher to see if she has any ideas about who he might connect with and how she could help facilitate it.  Also, I would work really hard to set up playdates outside of school.  My oldest son had to switch schools several times during his elementary school years and it was really hard on him each time.  We also role played a lot about how to make friends.  Good luck.  I know how hard it is to watch.

[ewe+lamb]

have you thought about joining a climbing club - our 8 yo dd - who loves climbing joined a club this year and is now with a bunch of girls and boys who love doing the same thing as she does - at school the other kids don't really get it but at least we know that she has a connection with children, it's like joining into a new community they go on day trips all over the country - or thereabouts and are with all different ages, families go all together, there are teens and young adults and the kids who go by themselves are looked after by the climbing instructors - it's really been one of the best things we could ever have done for her.  i would highly recommend it.