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WWYD in this situation... - Page 2

Poll Results: Your child's friend comes over with Ritalin for ADHD. Your response:

Poll expired: Jan 22, 2011  
  • 0% (0)
    "I don't believe in ADHD. Ritalin is evil." Hand it back to the parent.
  • 0% (0)
    Take the medicine. Don't give it to the child. Give it to the parent when the child is picked up/dropped off.
  • 0% (0)
    Take the medicine. Don't give it to the child. Throw it out.
  • 0% (0)
    Take the medicine. Don't give it to the child. Give it to the parent along with a printout of an anti-ADHD/anti Ritalin article when the child is picked up/dropped off.
  • 0% (0)
    Take the medicine. Don't give it to the child. Throw it out. Give the parent a printout of an anti-ADHD/anti Ritalin article when the child is picked up/dropped off.
  • 2% (6)
    Take the medicine. Give it to the child as per parental instructions. Give it to the parent along with a printout of an anti-ADHD/anti Ritalin article when the child is picked up/dropped off.
  • 97% (225)
    Give it to the child as per perental instructions. Give it back to the parent when the child is picked up/dropped off.
231 Total Votes  
post #21 of 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by TiredX2 View Post

I really want to know how this came up!


me too.

post #22 of 41

I decide what I feel is best for my own children. I would respect whatever another parent thinks is best for their own children. Give them their medicine per instructions of course! The only time I wouldn't is if it felt physically unsafe--very little kid, very big pill, choking issue or something. And then I'd call the parent and ask for verbal assistance.

 

I wouldn't want someone to make medical decisions for my child without my permission, why would I make medical decisions for their child? You follow parent directions!

 

(My grandmother never believed in my brother's allergies. "Bread with margarine never hurt anybody! Overprotective mother.... grumble." Gave the wheat and corn allergic child bread with margarine. He turned bright red, his voice sounded like sandpaper, and he started bouncing off the walls. She believed in it after that!)

post #23 of 41

I would give the meds as directed, just like I would follow directions regarding food sensitivities and allergies (or other allergies, naturally, but food allergies tend to come up more for overnight visits, especially if have issues with something like wheat).  I would also respect any dietary requirements, including diets based on belief systems rather than health issues (like vegan). 

 

If somebody did that to my child I would be beyond livid.  Not only is it disrespectful, it can be life threatening, and at the very least, extremely disruptive to my child's functioning for a good chunk of time while we had to deal with the fallout of being off track for an evening.

post #24 of 41

I see from a previous post that the OP has a child with ADHD who does take medication.

 

OP:  I don't know which of these might have happened to you, but if anything other than the last one did take place, I'm sorry.   People need to keep that kind of crud to themselves. They don't have to live with your child, or *be* your child.   Although given how some kids respond to missing doses, it's possible that the other parent gets a dose of the reality of true ADHD if they do that?

post #25 of 41

If I were uncomfortable administering the medication for any reason, I would discuss it with the other parent right away so that we could address the problem - they could drop by later in the evening to supervise, or they could leave me written instructions that addressed my concerns.  Just for example.  ADHD is over-diagnosed, but I am completely unqualified to determine which children have it and which children don't. 

 

If another parent threw away my child's medication, or presented me with literature questioning my medical decisions on my child's behalf, that relationship would be pretty much over.  I don't end relationships with other parents lightly, but my trust would be pretty seriously broken. 

 

Serious, untreated ADHD can make a child unbelievably miserable.  Medication isn't the right choice in all cases, but for a certain population of kids, being denied meds at a sleepover with a friend wouldn't just create a difficult evening for supervising adults.  It could cripple their efforts to build positive peer relationships (in the short-term, with the other children at the sleepover, and depending on the age of the kids, in the long term as stories of their impulsive behavior are shared with peers who were not present), damage their self-esteem, and aggravate stress and anxiety. 

post #26 of 41
Thread Starter 

Oh, it was just a hypothetical situation.  I do have a medicated ADHD child.  I've spoken with her about it, and she tells me that the meds make a world of difference.  I don't believe in hiding a child's diagnosis from them.  I don't let her use it as an excuse to fail...besides, she's the top of her class.  They don't change her personality at all, but they help her focus enough to follow a train of thought and speak coherently instead of just babble.  (And they have a side effect of keeping my blood pressure down).  I had just been reading (on MDC, also) some blogs that basically say ADHD/Ritalin is a sham.  Obviously, I don't believe that.  I believe it is one leg of the three-legged stool of treatment:  medication, diet, and behavior modification.  I've also let her spend the night with her friends, and believe me, if anyone did anything but the last, I'd never let my child spend the night there again---plus Ritalin is a schedule 2 controlled substance, so getting more because someone decided to take it on him/herself is a pain in the tush (cause with my kind of luck, it would be after we just got a refill).  And I always send medications of whatever type--prescription and OTC in their original bottles.

post #27 of 41

Totally give it to the child. It's not my place to decide whether or not another child should be taking medication. That is up to the child's parents, who clearly have already made the decision.

post #28 of 41

Situation:

 

You don't believe HIV is the "real" cause of AIDS and think anti retroviral therapy is way overprescribed for normal children who just happen to have HIV, and that they are harmful without a benefit (as HIV doesn't cause AIDS).  Your child has a friend spend the night and that child's friend's parent gives you a bottle of their child's AZT with instructions on when to give it.  Your response:

post #29 of 41

This question was so scary! OP thanks for clarifying. Who the heck would mess with a child's medication when it wasn't their own????

post #30 of 41

My son has ADHD, he doesn't take medication for it at the moment.  He also has food allergies/intolerances and has a restricted diet due his ADHD.  One of my relatives decided his food allergies weren't "real" and were part of his "crazy" diet.  She deliberately gave him food to show us he could eat it.  He proceeded to throw up all over her new rug, himself, and couch.  We were about to take him to the emergency room for food posioning, when she confessed what she had done.  She has no contact with my son or me.  

post #31 of 41
wow . .. . glad this was just hypothetical! couldn't imagine anyone in his or her right mind actually doing some of the options given in the poll!

My DH is ADD and medication makes a world of difference. In fact, honestly, I can say it's helped save our marriage (he was undiagnosed and, therefore, unmedicated, before). I also have a good friend with a son with ADHD and she has chosen not to medicate him, at least for the time being. Great. She's made an informed, well-thought out decision, as has my DH. I have to go on the assumption that other people do that as well, whether for themselves of for their kids.

I
post #32 of 41

I would give the medication as directed and keep my mouth shut.  I don't care if you don't "believe" in ADD/ADHD.  You do NOT mess with anyone's medication.  Ever.  

 

If I found out someone was not giving my child their needed medication, be it for this or any other thing, their access to my child would be over.  Anyone handing me a handout on ADD/ADHD would receive a new anal opening, because I would not hesitate to tear them open a new one.   How arrogant would one have to be to do such a thing?  Seriously?  How dare you!  

 

 

post #33 of 41

It is absolutely not my place to make medical decisions for someone else's child. If I feel they are asking me to do something injurious to the child as part of my caregiving, then I would not be able to care for the child, period.

 

I do believe Ritalin is overprescribed.  I also, however, believe that ADD/ADHD is a real disorder that affects some people.  I am not a doctor, I am not that child's parent.  I have *no clue* whether this is a valid case or not, and I have no right to decide that.

post #34 of 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2lilsweetfoxes View Post

Oh, it was just a hypothetical situation.  I do have a medicated ADHD child.  I've spoken with her about it, and she tells me that the meds make a world of difference.  I don't believe in hiding a child's diagnosis from them.  I don't let her use it as an excuse to fail...besides, she's the top of her class.  They don't change her personality at all, but they help her focus enough to follow a train of thought and speak coherently instead of just babble.  (And they have a side effect of keeping my blood pressure down).  I had just been reading (on MDC, also) some blogs that basically say ADHD/Ritalin is a sham.  Obviously, I don't believe that.  I believe it is one leg of the three-legged stool of treatment:  medication, diet, and behavior modification.  I've also let her spend the night with her friends, and believe me, if anyone did anything but the last, I'd never let my child spend the night there again---plus Ritalin is a schedule 2 controlled substance, so getting more because someone decided to take it on him/herself is a pain in the tush (cause with my kind of luck, it would be after we just got a refill).  And I always send medications of whatever type--prescription and OTC in their original bottles.

Just because accidents can happen (dog, toddler going through a dump in the toilet phase, even just clumsiness that puts the pills under the fridge instead of into your kid) I'd save an empty Rx bottle that has the current dosage on it and just send the amount she'd need for her time away. That way if things do go wrong and the bottle spills or gets chewed up, you're only out one day's dose.
 

post #35 of 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by CorasMama View Post

Situation:

 

You don't believe HIV is the "real" cause of AIDS and think anti retroviral therapy is way overprescribed for normal children who just happen to have HIV, and that they are harmful without a benefit (as HIV doesn't cause AIDS).  Your child has a friend spend the night and that child's friend's parent gives you a bottle of their child's AZT with instructions on when to give it.  Your response:



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post #36 of 41

I'd give the medication to the child per the parents instruction.

post #37 of 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by CorasMama View Post

Situation:

 

You don't believe HIV is the "real" cause of AIDS and think anti retroviral therapy is way overprescribed for normal children who just happen to have HIV, and that they are harmful without a benefit (as HIV doesn't cause AIDS).  Your child has a friend spend the night and that child's friend's parent gives you a bottle of their child's AZT with instructions on when to give it.  Your response:

Same as with the ADHD medications. Not my child, not my decision to make. (Although I would be pro-AZT or HIV-med anyway.)

 

I give it per parent instructions. I can only really see two appropriate options with this: give as requested, or say that you're not comfortable giving it (with no nastiness about why) and work something out so the parent can give it at the proper time. Doesn't matter what the medicine is. 
 

post #38 of 41
Thread Starter 


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by EviesMom View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by CorasMama View Post

Situation:

 

You don't believe HIV is the "real" cause of AIDS and think anti retroviral therapy is way overprescribed for normal children who just happen to have HIV, and that they are harmful without a benefit (as HIV doesn't cause AIDS).  Your child has a friend spend the night and that child's friend's parent gives you a bottle of their child's AZT with instructions on when to give it.  Your response:

Same as with the ADHD medications. Not my child, not my decision to make. (Although I would be pro-AZT or HIV-med anyway.)

 

I give it per parent instructions. I can only really see two appropriate options with this: give as requested, or say that you're not comfortable giving it (with no nastiness about why) and work something out so the parent can give it at the proper time. Doesn't matter what the medicine is. 
 


I think the only thing I'd be squeamish about would be if the medicine had to be injected (such as insulin), and I'd let the parent know when they dropped their kid off.  Hopefully, by that time-being old enough to spend the night with a friend, the child can dose themselves.  Or, we "thread the needle" and the child won't need a dose when at my house.  Or, I get over it and give it.  Or, the parents drop by and give it at the correct time.

 

I give the meds to the parents in the bottle because, after all, what would you think if your kid's friend had a baggie of pills in their overnight sack?  That way, the parents know that the pills are legitimately prescribed or that I know that my child has them.  (Could be tylenol because she got her braces adjusted, you never know.)

post #39 of 41

I am glad to see that this is just a hypothetical as I cannot imagine any answers other than the first (an honest answer that would let me know that I should not leave my kid with said parent) or the last. The second-to-last answer would not be appreciated but at least the child's health was not compromised. I can understand some people disagreeing with a particular diagnosis/prescription, but refusing to medicate a child without the parent's knowledge is just wrong.

post #40 of 41

i am so glad to hear this is hypothetical. because skipping a dose of medication can be really dangerous. i know for my kid his adhd medication helps him participate in the world.

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