As of yesterday, my son is two months old. At the beginning, I ate a lot. Not quite like I did when I was pregnant, but still pretty decent. During my pregnancy, I said to myself that I would not do what I did prior to my pregnancy-- Not eating, counting calories, etc. I would have a slice of bread for breakfast and not eat again until dinner. I would count calories, but rounded a bit. When I found out I was pregnant, I was six feet, 144. This was in April and I had gained ten pounds since Christmas. I surprised my doctor, who said I was too thin to become pregnant. God had other plans.
Anyway, somewhere between Thanksgiving and Christmas I was able to wear more regular clothes. I started out with a couple of 14s and I was fine with that as they were not maternity clothes. A few weeks ago, I was able to fit into a pair of 13 khakis. It helped that they are cut to fall just above the hip and are stretchy. By Christmas, I was down to 165 and wearing my size 12 suit. Somehow, I'm not sure when, I started to fall back into my old habits-- I can go without food, look at something and decide to not eat it, etc. My husband has noticed this and commented.
In the past few weeks, there have been days in which I have not been able to eat much-- When he eats all day, when we've been busy, etc. That's when I realized I could get by without eating much again…. Or so I thought. I was still making milk and losing weight. Some days, I figured I barely ate about 1,000 calories. Those were the days when I dropped a pound. Not only that, but I started to count calories some. I went from having cereal for breakfast to just an apple or orange. For lunch, I might have two slices of whole wheat bread with either a veggie burger (if I take the time to wait for the electric grill to heat up), or Yves deli veggie "meat" slices. Sometimes, it might just be a couple of slices of bread.
While the thought of depriving my son has crossed my mind, it’s not been enough to get myself to eat more. Until now. Last night, before bed, I was eating a small bowl of strawberries, about a cup’s worth. While sitting (and feeding my son), I began to feel a pain in my chest. It lasted throughout the night and continues now. I got to thinking that maybe, it’s a result of the few calories I’m retaining for myself. If I maybe, get 1,300 day, and I use at least 500, then my body is only getting 800. I know that’s not good.
So, I’m wondering if my low calorie consumption is effecting my milk supply. My son has days in which he does nothing but eat, it seems, as he did yesterday. Thursday, though, he did sleep for three hours in the afternoon. He was awake for a bit, and slept most of the evening and night. (Though sometimes, him sleeping at night involves both of us sleeping in the recliner. ) I’m also wondering if I should go to the ER. My son is going through a phase in which he gets fussy if he comes off. Also, my husband and three-year-old are at a friends’ house hanging out with the kids for a few hours while the parents are out. (If anything, I wouldn’t mind taking the time to brush my hair and wash my face and get my clothes together.)
Thank you.
