Okay, please talk me down!

[Jenne]

All day today my subconscious brain has been saying things like, "So done!" "Let's hurry up and meet her!" and other such nonsense. I say it is my subconscious because if you asked me I would say that she will come when she is ready and I'm doing well. I feel like I'm in good spirits and not impatient. But I swear...all day today it has seemed like there was this whole other conversation going on in my brain...particularly when a pressure wave would come on.

When I was at Whole Foods I actually contemplated buying some cohosh! Whoa! What the heck?!? Seriously, not what I want to do but I still stood there and had the discussion with myself.

When I got home from the store I thought about hooking up the breast pump! What in the world?!?

This would be an inconvenient time to go into labor first of all (1 of my birth team is at work tonight, 2 are an extra 8 hours away!) and second babies come when they choose. They don't usually need help and besides we are so not to 42 weeks! Seriously!!!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??!? How do I get this voice turned off? The hypnobabies affirmations didn't phase it. (BTW I am fully aware that this voice is me...no worries about mental illness or multiple personalities, okay? ) My stern, "NO!" on the other hand just merely silenced it momentarily.

Please talk me down. I don't need to pump or intervene. Everything is fine and normal...

Jenne

[pregnant@40]

I don't know when you're due, but just wanted to remind you of a recent research study that indicates the risk of cerebral palsy is triple for babies born at 37 weeks, a little less for 38 weeks, and then up again around 42 weeks. So the best time for a baby to come truly is weeks 39-41. Maybe that will talk you down? Unsure.

[3xMama]

You are so very very normal! I think every pregnant woman goes through days like that, even knowing logically that baby will come when ready. Some days are just harder than others to think logically. Remember, most of the natural remedies to induce labor won't do anything unless its imminent anyway. So all that cohosh and nipple stimulation would just be wasted time most likely anyway!

Also, the best talking down I ever got was from a woman I had a few group prenatals with during my last pregnancy. She was due a month after me but had her baby about five weeks or so early (IUGR and pre-e) via csection after a failed induction. She was in for a two or three week followup with our mw right after I was there for my 41 wk visit. I made a statement about how it was hard to see her with her baby since she was due after me. She just looked me in the eye and said "Believe me, I'd rather be where you are now." It just hit me like a ton of bricks how lucky I was to have a healthy pregnancy and baby. Even if I was a little late, at least I wasn't extremely early and worried about my baby's health! That thought cooled my jets whenever I got too eager to try and get DS out!

[Jenne]

Terrific! Thank you!!! Yes, I think part of the problem is that for the first time in this pregnancy people are talking to me about birth. No horror stories (thankfully!) but lots of "She'll come Monday," or "Term is anything after 37 weeks so today would be fine." Part of it is that at no point had I considered going early until I had some contractions a week ago. Then suddenly, it was as if this could actually happen. Anyway, yes, those are very good reasons for her just to stay put!

Jenne

[BaileyB]

3xMama, that is a good story. Sometimes I wish she would just come already because I am bored out of my mind (which I know is a really dumb reason for wanting her to come. I'm not even uncomfortable or dilated or having uncomfortable contractions.) and I just think, "No! I would not want to me and/or baby to be in the hospital for extra days or weeks." I just want to be able to go to the hospital, give birth, and go home. And it is SUPER annoying when people constantly asking when the baby is coming or due dates, etc.

[ComplexOphelia]

Here's how pregnancy #1 went for me: severe pre-e at 28 weeks, 2 weeks in ICU for me.  DS weighed 2 pounds when he was born.  I had to watch him be intubated and on a ventilator two separate times.  I had to carefully avoid disturbing the IV lines in his head when I held him.  He was fed my milk through a tube in his nose.  For 67 days, I had to say goodbye to my baby every single night while other people took care of him.  This is me holding him for the first time (the machine on his face is a CPAP, which helps maintain an open airway).  He's a week old here:

So, yes, the end of pregnancy is hard, the waiting is hard, and I know how badly you want to meet your new little one - but believe me, it's way better than the alternative!  In some ways, I am lucky for my earlier experience, because it makes me love every single second of this, my big belly, feeling my baby kicking and healthy, knowing that he'll be able to breathe when he comes out without machines.  Even the aches and pains and the pressure  in my hips and all the other wonderful things that mean that my baby is still healthy in my body!  We've all heard "Every baby is a miracle" so much that it's almost meaningless, but, trust me, it's true.  Every time I go to my doctor, I am hopeful that I will get to continue to share my body with my baby for another week, that my body will continue to be a safe haven for my child to grow in - and I am so grateful for all the time that it has been.

[dakotablue]

Thank you for this thread.

I've known preemie babies and I know its not good, I want this baby to have everything it needs, but gosh darn it I want to meet him or her!

Here's hoping for moderately comfortable next few weeks.

[OkiMom]

Im actually not ready for the baby to come and hope he stays in a while longer but I can understand why you want him/her here. I think its totally normal, most women I know want their child to come, just remember that its 100 times easier and use this time to rest and spend time with your family before the baby comes. Once he/she is here you won't have that time again.

[bluebirdmama]

I'd like to add my perspective as well even though it's not as dramatic. This is my third and final pregnancy. My first two pregnancies were super easy - I loved every minute. My second baby was born at 37 weeks (when I was expecting her to come closer to 40 or 41 weeks). She totally surprised us. We had been getting ready to move so I had a bunch of other things I had been focusing on and kind of took the last part of pregnancy for granted. I remember quite vividly feeling like I had to mourn the early loss of my pregnancy before I had had a chance to really revel in it.

This time, I'm very uncomfortable and the pregnancy has been way more physically demanding (especially with two kids already). But 1) I remember how I missed being pregnant when #2 came early and 2) I know I will never get to experience this ever again. I won't feel a baby moving in my belly. I won't feel the anticipation and excitement of wanting so badly to meet this little one. I won't have the care and attention of loved ones in the same way you get when you're pregnant. Part of me wants the physical discomforts gone. Part of me hates the waiting game. But I'm just letting myself sit back and take it a day at a time...because there is so much about pregnancy/childbearing that really is a once in a lifetime magical experience to be treasured. Better to treasure it now than find yourself yearning for it after it's over.

Baby will come before you know it and you'll find the days will start to run together and you'll blink and your little one will be a big brave 5 year old. This is a time to be grateful that time seems to be dragging...in a couple of weeks its going to start flying by and you'll wish it would slow down. Hang in there Jenne!!

[Jenne]

Thank you for the good reminders and support! I knew y'all would understand both sides of the coin and could help me. I appreciate it!!!

Jenne

[mcs]

i also posted in the chat forum- that though i am tired of being tired and feeling exhausted and kind of all-over "done" and emotional....i want to reach a mental place of peace- being "good and ready" and not welcome my baby into the world with "lets get you out! enough of this already!" 

i hope, as each day passes and i am getting bigger, that i can find that place....

[Jenne]

Last night did not help...pressure waves 1 min. 30 seconds or so 10 minutes apart for an hour and a half whilst sitting in the recliner in the bedroom. Decided moving around might change things so I went into the bathroom to dry my hair. 7 minutes apart lasting 55 seconds or so. After 4 of those I decided to lay down. Spaced back to 9 minutes apart but stayed at 55-60 seconds. Then I threw up. And everything stopped. It is fine that it stopped but I have one week of work left and staying up all night is not helping me get the last few things done that I need to! And really, it is still too early!!!


On the other hand, even if these aren't doing anything they are good practice for my back and uterine muscles which is terrific, right?!?!
Jenne

[3xMama]

My mw told me today that every contraction now does a little something to help! Here's hoping that next time those contractions start, they continue and increase for ya, though!

[Jenne]

Thanks for the words of encouragement!

Jenne

[pixiekisses]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ComplexOphelia 

So, yes, the end of pregnancy is hard, the waiting is hard, and I know how badly you want to meet your new little one - but believe me, it's way better than the alternative!  In some ways, I am lucky for my earlier experience, because it makes me love every single second of this, my big belly, feeling my baby kicking and healthy, knowing that he'll be able to breathe when he comes out without machines.  Even the aches and pains and the pressure  in my hips and all the other wonderful things that mean that my baby is still healthy in my body!  We've all heard "Every baby is a miracle" so much that it's almost meaningless, but, trust me, it's true.  Every time I go to my doctor, I am hopeful that I will get to continue to share my body with my baby for another week, that my body will continue to be a safe haven for my child to grow in - and I am so grateful for all the time that it has been.

Yes, this, exactly! With two preemie births behind me (23 and 30 weeks), I'm so grateful I'm 36 weeks today, and my huge goal of 37 weeks is just one week away. (Absolutely in sight!) And that I might even get to go longer than 37 weeks too. Amazing, that's what it is. :D

We celebrate every day as we wait!

[mcs]

pixi, it really is amazing that your little corn has been so long in the cooker! i am happy for you too! 37, 38, 39......

jenne- maybe you are having so many thoughts of being done b/c your body is so busy gearing up. it does seem awfully busy...

which, as we all know, doesn't "mean" anything, but it does mean "something" and it is hard to keep your mind seperated from that.